Written by: Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Corporate Spouse — a significant other with a partner “climbing up” or already “high up” on the corporate ladder.
In my first job out of college, I had the privilege of working as a Fitness Floor Manager and Personal Trainer at the Procter and Gamble Corporate Fitness Center in Cincinnati, OH, USA. I worked with hundreds of employees through one-on-one training sessions and group fitness classes. Several of my clients were standouts to me as I trained them. These individuals stood out because of their devotion. They were devoted to their jobs, and they were equally devoted to their families as I continue to have relationships with them today.
The executives that I trained worked high-pressure positions at literally all hours of the day. Many of them even relocated their families to international locations for several years at a time. Their work ethic just blew me away. I was always equally impressed by their love and concern for their families and especially their spouses. They held their spouses in the highest regard. Rightfully so because usually their spouses selflessly let go of his/her own career so that their husband/wife could achieve great things in their career instead. Without their spouse at home taking on the role of “Family Manager” to support them and the household, their world would absolutely crumble. They would refer to them as their “corporate spouse” from time to time. I got to be honest; the first time I heard them refer to their husband/wife as a “corporate spouse,” it caught me off guard. After further clarification, it became evident that a corporate spouse, in my humble opinion, literally runs the world for their spouse. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but they have an enormous amount of responsibility.
Running a Home Single-Handedly
With or without children, a corporate spouse is no small feat. I mean, just thinking about all the single parents out there rocking it at work and home knocks the wind right out of me. What a tough season in life! Single parents are heroes for real. The household, just like corporations, has lots of balls to juggle all at once. For starters, there is the great task of raising kids if you have them. I mean, you must manage their personal hygiene, school activities, extracurricular activities, and oh do not forget the eating, sleeping, and disciplining that goes on in between. Raising them to be respectful, kind, and hard-working adults. Then there are all the household chores like laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, dishes, organization, yard, home maintenance, etc. Then there are the home finances with budgeting and paying all the bills. You are responsible for maintaining healthy relationships among family, friends, and neighbors; things like sending birthday cards and holiday planning and attendance are typically solely the corporate spouse's responsibility.
You get the point. It is a good bit to keep up with, and most of it has little to no personal gains associated with it. For example, no one is giving your corporate spouse a performance review that results in a bonus check at the end of the year. Usually, no one is even saying a good job or thank you regularly. To me, this job as a corporate spouse sounds like a very lonely place to work. Performing endless tasks without any recognition or reward or, most importantly, self-fulfillment is a one-way ticket to self-deterioration. No one wants their most treasured employee to quit. The corporate spouse who stays at home to manage the household needs to be supported. They need to build a strong sense of self-confidence. It’s important to encourage them to seek and achieve personal growth through self-actualization, starting with self-awareness. For the corporate spouse to operate at full throttle, they need balance in all their wellness dimensions. The corporate spouse may also feel personally aimless as they wake up and do the same thing day-to-day. Completely losing their own identity.
“Stop Existing, Start Living” — Mama Bear Domain
A Cry for Help
These skills are tough to master, considering the various challenges a corporate spouse faces. I have done hundreds of interviews with moms and clients from all walks of life. No matter which side of the coin they fall on, the ones who stay at home while their spouse goes to work or the ones who get up and grind it out in the office all day both have struggles. The corporate spouses are weaning for guidance, as they feel overwhelmed, aimless, lonely, and self-loss.
As the kiddos need constant reassurance that the other parent does, in fact, love them, and they will be home. Attendance at various school gatherings, family celebrations, and social events is not actually glamorous but completely and utterly exhausting. You have no choice but to show up and put on a good face because people expect you to be there and have it all together.
The phrase, “I’m sorry my husband/wife can’t make it today,” is just something people who know you will hear often. You never really get a true, completely detached vacation from work with your spouse. Even on vacation, they must check-in, and when they do, you never know how long it will take for them to log back into vacation mode with you. The schedule must be flexible all the time. They might plan to come home early one day and must cancel at the last minute, leaving you alone for the soccer practice shuffle and bedtime routines yet again. The hardest challenge might be teaching your children that their talents are gifts that are meant to be shared with the world. These gifts we possess come with responsibilities. In all the things we are responsible for, we always do our absolute best, and in doing so, we treat others how we would want to be treated.
The struggle to keep life in balance is real for both spouses. On one side, you have the guilt of working constantly, and on the other side, you are lonely, and your tasks seem thankless. Left without intervention, this scenario does not look pretty. Both sides of the house need to be supported.
“Whatever you aren’t changing, you are choosing not to change” — Mama Bear Domain.
Nowadays, the corporate world has access to corporate wellness programs. In fact, they are the gold standard for most major companies. By offering corporate wellness programs, companies encourage healthy habits in the workplace. Research has proven that healthy employees are happier, more productive, have lower healthcare costs, and miss less work due to illness. An employee's family is the real ticket to an employee’s health because they have the greatest influence on an employee’s health behaviors than any doctor or medical professional. When an employee's home life is stable, they are happier, and they are more consistent in their work productivity. Distractions at work are minimized when they have very few things to worry about at home. Therefore, a healthy employee who has a healthy home environment is a win-win for any company. Obviously, there is a gap in the support for the corporate spouse who stays at home to manage the house and everything else under the sun.
The Foundation Must Be Strong
These Family Managers are the strong foundation for their spouse to climb the corporate ladder.
Corporations and companies need to support and educate the corporate spouse to keep the foundation strong. Educating the importance of healthy and balanced well-being. Teaching the corporate spouse the importance of wellness within the wheel of life, circle of control, reaching the growth zone, building awareness to discover self-actualization. The last thing we want is the corporate spouse to feel is resentment for the company and/or their spouse. Causing the foundation of the executive or future executive to crumble.
I think it is safe to say that this article is a call to action. If you or someone you know feels swallowed by the pressures of being a corporate spouse, tell them to contact me. Corporations small and large can contact me for spousal wellness speeches and/or workshops. I have a space in my heart for them and their struggles. I want to support the corporate spouses of the world. I want to help them find balance and build self-confidence. I want to help them discover new things about themselves and evolve. I want the people who support others all day to feel supported too.
Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine
Kelly Hater, the owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience and a B.S. in Health Promotion specialized in Exercise Science. She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout, providing a clear, decisive plan that leads her clients on a path of success. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming struggles herself. Get the accountability needed to take action. As a mom of two, she gets it.
