Written by: Serena A. Carbonell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
My former fear. We, as souls, all have a fear or two or more. Yes? If we didn’t, well then, we would not be human. I’ll start with one of mine — well, a former fear that is. Flying. The safest form of travel.
As a nomadic woman who has been blessed in traversing many a wonderful landscape since youth, and continues to do so, I became fearful of flying in my mid-20’s (I am now 47). Oddly enough, it was soon after I met my ex-husband who pursued a career as a pilot where my fear of flying soared.
Perhaps it was living in Hawaii and being a distance from the mainland so I knew traveling even to California would be lengthy (especially over a vast deep dark ocean that I could not see), or the myriad of flight training manuals that always caught my eye, or just learning, during that time, about the world of aviation and aircraft functionality that triggered anxiety in my soul — even though I knew I had absolutely nothing to be concerned about.
I can recall numerous flights (domestic and international) where the slightest amount of turbulence (or “rough air” as it is now called) would send my entire mind and body into an — armrest or hand or whatever I could grab — clenching gripping dither. A glass of wine or two never seemed to numb the fear and I used to ask myself if I knew too much about flying having been married to a pilot. Too much that was always safety first and precautionary, yet somehow I would lose my sense of self and be ill at ease (even if a gracious flight attendant or merely a relaxed kind passenger would try to aid in calming my nerves).
It was years later that I was finally able to pin-point WHY I feared flying. Control.
Control
Souls fear not being in control — having the “ability or perception of their ability to affect themselves, others, their conditions, their environment or some other circumstance.” (Wikipedia)
There is a delicate balance between our subconsciousness and consciousness that triggers this sense of needing to be in control. As individual souls, we tend to rise everyday with the innate “knowing” that we are, or have the capability of, controlling our own sacred journey, our own destinies, our own actions, our own emotions.
From a psychological perspective, our ego is also part of this equation. Oh let’s leave it to the ego — that which has its pros and cons — stirring up anxiety and creating nervousness due to it wanting to be, according to the renowned Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung, the “commander in chief.”
Now from an astrological perspective, our personalities are considered to be pre-determined so that, too, has an impact on our passion for control. “Astrology sees mankind as being not only influenced by hereditary factors and the environment, but also by the state of our solar system at the moment of birth. The planets are regarded as basic life forces, the tools we live by as well as the basis of our very substance. These planetary forces take on different forms, depending on their zodiacal position and on the way they relate to one another.” (astrodienst)
Either way we look at it — control exists and often times can be more detrimental than loving for our overall mind, body, spirit and soul. When it came to my fear of flying, though I was always internally a nervous wreck and from the outside tried to be graciously composed as much as possible, I suffered because I was not able to be in the pilot seat, control the aircraft, steer the plane safely and see what vast landscape lay ahead of me.
I was NOT the “commander in chief,” dammit!
It dawned on me that I clearly did not have full faith and trust in the pilots, and who was I to have such beliefs? Pilots go through a significant amount of formal, lengthy and dedicated aircraft and safety training. I, on the other hand, learned minimally about aviation in the setting of a conversation piece, if you will.
Another classic example ‒ traffic. Yes! Our “beloved” traffic which is honestly, for many (including I at times), one of the most aggravating and fearful experiences that we have NO control over. You are sitting behind the wheel (or even riding as a passenger) and your destination awaits — you are not moving, or merely moving at a snails pace. Anxiety may kick in for some souls who need to be at their destination at a certain time and know they may be late, for others it may be the inability to be able to tell the other drivers to move faster, others may suffer a panic attack due to their irrational fear of claustrophobia, and then there is also the frustrated “horn honker” to add stimulus because what else is there to do?
The answer — embrace your fear!
Embracing your fear
In order to fully embrace your fear(s) you must be mindful in having integrity by being honest with yourself, other souls and the universe. The first step, which is never easy (trust me!), is to make the decision in wanting to come to terms with understanding what triggers your soul and causes you to live in a space of anxiety, stress, frustration and of course, fear.
It is very important and valuable to recognize and acknowledge that throughout your sacred life you will have absolutely NO control over most situations, events and souls. Like traffic or flying (unless you are an aviator) or even aspects of relationships with friends, family members, work colleagues, classmates, sports teammates, you name it — when you begin to dissect what or whom you do have control over, you will begin to realize that it is merely YOU and only YOU for the most part.
By choosing to accept your own choices as your own and other souls choices as their own you will experience a massive shift that will impact your life and your relationships with others forever. Some souls are always going to want to have their way, are overly competitive, self-absorbed, attention-seekers, be unkind, be unfaithful, be devious, lack morals, lack class, lack proper decision-making skills, glass-empty — yadayadayada — who cares — let them have it! They are the ones who are suffering with insecurities, jealousy, unhappiness and not checking their ego(s) at the door. The "me me me" syndrome. I often times wish we could literally have an "ego" check — like a coat check. Now that would be f#@king awe-some!
By having faith and trust in your own amazing and incredible self, you will start to see life from a clearer and more peaceful perspective. Also having faith and trust in others will develop a better sense of creating community. The beauty of life: you are given a golden opportunity to explore yourself at a dive deep level (that many find scary) which ultimately gives you the power and courage to be willing to say to yourself … “it’s time to CHANGE.”
Change
Most souls are apprehensive to experience change because they are afraid to face and embrace their fears.
There is, by all means, a difference between releasing natural emotions versus being negative, and we expend more energy when we emit negativity versus positivity. A lot more. How? Well, it takes a nanosecond to make someone feel good — you may smile at them or better yet, you say hello and wish them a blessed happy day or give them a compliment. You, in essence, recognize them in a positive light. You give them attention from your heart. You care.
To be negative — you have to "think" about the negative thought which is not only holistically exhausting, you are also weakening your serotonin levels. In addition to anger and frustration increasing, your overall mood shifts to a depressive controlling space — only eager to have the end result be more in your favor than with whom or what you are communicating with.
So if it is less taxing on our minds, bodies, spirits and souls to be positive and happy — then why not surrender to that? Right? It is actually more simple than you may believe. If you reflect on ALL of the delightful and bountiful opportunities you are able to experience and enjoy, and then start to practice them (if you are not already) — that is the perfect beginning.
“Sacred techniques” on how to enhance change for the better:
LOVE & RESPECT yourself and others
PRACTICE POSITIVITY — altering your language by using more influential and powerful uplifting words (i.e. I can do this versus I can’t do this, I love versus I hate, I am successful versus I am useless, etc.)
EXAMINE what your FEARS are, why you are fearful, what and/or who triggers this stressful emotion in you
LEARN from your fears — this will expand your mind, your communal network, and enhance growth — take up that random sport you have always wanted to try though never had the confidence or feel you are “too old” … or take lessons on that instrument you have always wanted to play even though you may be slightly tone deaf
ASK what CONTROL means to you, why you are wanting to be in control and of whom and/or what
SPEND quality time with NON-TOXIC souls by surrounding yourself with others who lift you up, bring you joy and are super FUN
ADDICTION(S) — social media, shopping, drugs, alcohol, etc. — are you subject to abusing, addicted to a source that may not be beneficial for you in healing, ask yourself why and how is this aiding in your lifestyle
JOURNAL about your sacred life and your fears
FOLLOW your INTUITION — that “gut” feeling is usually absolutely spot on
PRACTICE INTEGRITY — lying will get you nowhere (except into a deep dark abyss — literally)
INCREASE your EXERCISE level — get those endorphins moving!
WORK-LIFE BALANCE — know when to shut it down and celebrate, enjoy, rest, be YOU
NUTRITION/DIET — are you drinking enough water, feeding your soul properly
PARTICIPATE in ACTIVITIES that you are a PASSIONATE about — reading, writing, cooking, traveling, gardening, yoga, socializing — endless options
MEDITATE — take time for yourself to quiet the mind which can be done not always in the “formal” sense — washing the dishes is a great example of meditation
UPGRADE to a HOLISTIC lifestyle
CONNECT to the divine or higher energy/sacred source
LET GO of that which is holding you back
Time is your soul friend and evolving does not happen overnight, and age is JUST a number. We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination as imperfections are what make us whole. So, if you trust in the process, love and respect yourself, are patient (breathe) and have the strength you will then begin to experience a grand enlightenment of inner peace and feel bliss.
As Joseph Campbell, the remarkable spirited writer and former professor of literature at Sarah Lawrence College, expressed in his many essays and teachings —“Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.”
Freedom from suffering is now on the horizon. Woohoo!
Freedom from Suffering
We’re given this gift of life — let’s celebrate it!
So how did I conquer my fear of flying you may be asking yourself? In definitely using several of my “sacred techniques” I shared. As previously noted, I also continued to remind myself that all pilots go through extensive training to become licensed and know what they are doing in the cockpit as well as aviation mechanics who are skilled in aircraft maintenance. (This literally goes for any career position that requires licensure). Trusting those who were/are there to assist in getting me to many of my favorite destinations was also very key.
At the same time, as a spiritualist, I believe that when it is my time to transition on, it is my time to transition on. In essence, death is a natural inevitable experience that I also realized, during this process, I cannot fear (yes, another fear!). You cannot hide from death, cannot run from it, cannot escape it and cannot control it. So why not just accept it?
Well, that is easier said than done because we are human, have hearts, feel love, feel compassion and have emotions that attach us to other souls (even that of non-human form) whom we connect with on a living level. We are also attached to our own living being. It is very sad when souls transition on, especially those who have suffered, and grieving is part of our natural healing process in letting go.
As an intuitive, I have a gift in being able to connect with souls who have transitioned on. This certainly has helped aid in my knowing that we are generally eternally protected and safe. A sense of security and peace if you will, and yes, I do believe we all have this gift of "tapping in" on some level— you just have to learn how to channel it (that lesson will be for another time).
By manifesting your dreams, enabling change and healing from your fears — your spirit is free. A blessing beyond words that as you know does take time (is not an overnight sensation), and if you also have faith, well, you are now going to have the time of your life.
As the stellar musical 80’s artist, George Michael, believed: “it’s kind of another word for my HOPE and OPTIMISM” … “because i gotta have faith, faith, faith, i gotta have faith, faith, faith.”
Remember — you’ve got this & I LOVE you!
Serena A. Carbonell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Serena is the founder of Spiritual Living with Serena (SLS) ‒ a holistic intuitive healing coaching & spiritual advisor service providing a simple approach for high performers in achieving happiness. Her name is pronounced akin to "Serenity" with a short second e. Serena utilizes her expansive certified therapeutic background to serve those who strive for excellence and have the challenge of living a more stress-free, rewarding, meaningful and holistic soulful life. She typically works with high-level executives, professional athletic coaches and successful competitive athletes. Always celebrating with a positive, loving zest for life, Serena is eternally in touch with her healing spirit: body, mind & soul.
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