Written by Stacy Ingram, Mental Performance Coach
Stacy Ingram is a dedicated Mental Performance Coach for teen athletes and performers. She believes every teen deserves the chance to succeed at their highest level, to learn the skills and techniques needed to help them be at their best in sport, the arts and in everyday life.
Many athletes struggle with an identity crisis when their time in competitive sports comes to an end, often feeling lost without the structure and purpose that athletics once provided. The transition from athlete to everyday life can leave individuals questioning their self-worth and struggling to redefine who they are beyond the field. Rediscovering a sense of purpose and embracing a new identity is key to moving forward with confidence and fulfillment.
Beyond the game: Identity, self-worth-knowing who you are outside of sports
For many teen athletes, sport isn’t just an activity; it’s the core of who they are. Whether it’s basketball, soccer, gymnastics, or swimming, athletes often tie their identity and self-worth closely to their performance and achievements. While the discipline and dedication required to excel in sports can build character, the downside is that many young athletes begin to equate their value as a person with their success on the field.
So, when this is the case, what happens when an injury strikes or when the season ends? What happens when they can no longer perform at their best? These are moments when athletes are forced to confront who they are beyond the game, and for some, it can feel like stepping into an unfamiliar world. As a mental performance coach, helping young athletes navigate this process of self-discovery is critical to their long-term emotional and mental well-being.
By the age of 13, 70% of those in youth sports leave their chosen sport or sports, but for the 30% that are left, the hours dedicated to their craft can create an identity so intertwined in their sport that it can become a huge part of who they are. It's all about how you come to perceive yourself, how others perceive you, and if your sport serves as a basis for your sense of self-worth. It's the loss of this identity, developed over the years, that makes the transition to “real life” such a challenge if you identify primarily as an athlete vs. it being a piece of who you are. Being aware of this danger is critical for individuals, parents, and coaches alike.
The athlete’s identity crisis
From an early age, athletes are often praised for their physical abilities and achievements in sports. The rush of winning, the camaraderie of being on a team, and the admiration from peers and family can lead to a narrow sense of self-worth. For many teens, being an athlete becomes synonymous with their identity. They become “the basketball player” or “the star swimmer,” and this identity brings a sense of belonging and pride. However, the danger of this one-dimensional identity is that it leaves little room for personal growth outside of sports. While being committed to sports can create a little opportunity to do other things, it should be a critical focus to ensure well-rounded self-worth.
When an injury occurs, or a major setback happens, this can trigger a profound identity crisis. Without their ability to perform, athletes might feel lost or unsure of their place in the world. The sense of purpose and confidence that once came from being on the field suddenly disappears. This identity crisis isn’t just about missing sports; it’s about feeling like they've lost a part of who they are. This is something that is hard for parents to understand. It’s almost like their athlete needs some time to grieve so they can move forward.
Understanding self-worth beyond performance
One of the most important lessons athletes can learn is that their self-worth is not tied to their performance. It’s easy for teens to fall into the trap of believing that their value comes from how many goals they score or how fast they run. However, their worth as people exists independently of their achievements. This is a crucial message for parents and coaches to reinforce.
Encouraging athletes to focus on their character, relationships, and passions outside of sports can help them see the full spectrum of who they are. Qualities like resilience, kindness, leadership, and empathy are traits that endure far beyond any championship. These qualities contribute to their self-worth in a way that is lasting, unlike the fleeting highs and lows of athletic success.
Exploring identity outside of sports
Part of the recovery from injury or facing an athletic setback is giving athletes the space to explore other dimensions of themselves. Whether it’s nurturing academic interests, creative hobbies, or social connections, discovering who they are outside of sports can be empowering. For some athletes, this may mean taking on new roles within their team, such as becoming a mentor or a leader who can support others through advice and encouragement.
Engaging in other activities also allows athletes to recognize that they are multifaceted individuals, not just defined by their sport. Learning new skills, developing friendships beyond their teammates, or investing in hobbies can all play a role in building a more well-rounded sense of self.
The role of parents and coaches
Parents and coaches play a pivotal role in supporting an athlete’s identity beyond sports. Instead of only celebrating athletic accomplishments, it’s important to acknowledge the effort, discipline, and character that the athlete displays both on and off the field. When young athletes receive validation for who they are as people, not just for what they do as athletes, it fosters a healthier, more balanced sense of self-worth.
When the sport ends
Many athletes never stop to consider the impacts of self-identity/self-worth when they graduate High School or College and are no longer playing. They are all so much more than dancers, basketball players, gymnasts, lacrosse players, etc. They are brothers, sisters, friends, mentors, and so many other things.
Really knowing who they are on the inside is critical to a successful transition away from sport and a step towards positive mental health as they move forward into their lives. We want our athletes to emerge disciplined, hard-working, resilient, and, most of all, happy. So, let’s be sure our athletes are involved in the right things so they can see themselves successful well beyond their athletic performance. Working with a mental toughness and performance coach can be key to embedding the proper skills and tools to help athletes work through this process more effectively. If you are looking for support for a teen in your life, a resource such as this can make all the difference.
Stacy Ingram is a dedicated Mental Performance Coach specializing in empowering teen athletes and performers to overcome the invisible barriers that often hinder their performance. With a focus on the mental side of the game, her programs are designed to equip athletes and performers with the cognitive tools and resilience needed for success both in sports/the arts and in everyday life.
