Jen Liam has been in private practice in the Atlanta area for over 25 years. She is well known and respected for her unique approach to wellness, focusing on total body/brain health and healing. She was a two-time American Ninja Warrior competitor and combined her passion for overcoming physical and emotional obstacles to best support her clients. Her approach to whole-self therapy offers clients the opportunity to work on both their emotional and physical self simultaneously.
Jen Liam, LCSW and Certified Personal Trainer
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
While my first instinct is to lead with what I have accomplished over the last 50 years, in the famous words of Julie Andrews, ‘Let’s start at the very beginning; it’s a very good place to start’. I was born on my mother’s 18th birthday. That fact likely speaks more about who I am than the fact that I have been an Atlanta area Psychotherapist for the past 25+ years. My early years of life, growing up with my young mother is where my passion to make the world a better place for youth was born. It impacted me more than all the schooling, internships and jobs I have had.
According to my mother, I was an athlete from the jump, running and walking everywhere as soon as I was able. Similarly I played every sport I could, eventually landing on soccer as my true passion.
I suppose a little known fact about me is that I went to Culinary School in my early twenties and had my own Vegetarian Catering Company. The joke was on me because after a few years I realized that a vegetarian diet would not support my athletic training. Thus, my vegetarian era came to a halt. And while I loved the excitement of the kitchen, I eventually realized that carrots don’t provide much in the way of emotional dialogue or complexity.
That’s when I went back to school to become a Clinical Social Worker.
If you were to ask my wife, Jen (yes, we get lots of jokes about that fact) or my 17yr old kiddo Blais, they would likely tell you that my favorite place in the world is with them...and a body of water, any body of water in which I can fish. Unfortunately, I tend to do more ‘fishing’ than ‘catching’. But I’m working on that!
How did your experiences as a Division 1 soccer player and triathlete influence your approach to mental health support for athletes?
Unfortunately, my experience in college quickly taught me that mental health support for athletes was not easy to find, let alone forthcoming. I didn’t realize that professional support existed for the many mental health concerns athletes at elite levels face: depression, anxiety and eating disorders, just to name a few. Ultimately I made the difficult, but likely life-saving, decision to respectfully decline my soccer scholarship and pursue the route of therapy and healing instead. At the time I just did not see an avenue to both continue playing and find some sanity.
I spent my late teens and early twenties in therapy and realized that self-analysis was a whole new way to challenge myself. While I was used to sprinting for miles, therapy brought with it a different level of intensity and difficulty. ‘’Sitting with my feelings’ was a unique type of discomfort! After many years of hard work and fantastic professional help, I (re)learned and (re)built a healthy relationship with exercise. By the time I re-entered the competition world as a triathlete, I was able to realize that my worth as a person does not rest solely on my athletic achievements.
That inherent knowledge and healing is something I bring into every session, with every client. I work hard to honor the whole person, not just the part of someone who wears a uniform. My goal and my hope is that all of my clients realize their full potential for complete happiness, not just the fleeting kind that can come from athletic accomplishments.
What inspired you to shift from your early social work experiences to a career that combines physical and emotional wellness?
When I think about it, I believe that it was always my desire - to combine emotional/therapeutic work with physical movement. I just didn’t have a model for how to do it. The idea of combining traditional talk therapy with exercise wasn’t something I had seen done before. I remember in the early days telling colleagues that I wanted to install a pullup bar and punching bag in my office. At best, people would look at me like I was crazy. Other’s blatantly discouraged it because of liability reasons.
Over the years I was fortunate enough to meet other forward thinking clinicians who also understood the importance of movement. I was able to co-create a therapeutic hiking group for women… and assisted in developing therapeutic sports groups for adolescents. Eventually, I was brave enough to jump all in. I became a Certified Personal Trainer, built my own therapeutic gym/office, and now have the space and resources to encourage clients to move their emotions and their bodies.
The fun part is when and how it all seamlessly comes together and I am reminded that what I’m doing makes sense on so many levels. A few years ago, I was working with an adolescent client who, let's say, did not want to be in therapy nearly as much as his parents wanted him to be. After a couple of lifeless sessions, I challenged him to a pullup competition… the stakes being that if I won, he had to tell me something about himself I didn’t already know. Let’s just say we ended up having a long conversation.
In another such session, I was working with a woman who was having a difficult time processing and healing from a recent breakup; her anger was getting in the way. When I suggested that she use the punching bag while talking, a much more productive session ensued and she was able to move through some emotions that I believe otherwise may have remained stuck.
I won’t bore you with the countless sessions where movement has not only supported but has enhanced my client’s therapeutic experience. I like to call it: Ninja Therapy!
Competing on American Ninja Warrior twice is an impressive feat. What lessons did you take from that experience, personally and professionally?
Hands down, I learned the importance of ‘failing’. Like, trying your hardest to reach a goal and not accomplishing it, kind of failing. The literal blood, sweat and tears kind of failing. Up until that point in my life, if I had put my mind to something athletic, I was more or less able to achieve it. But Ninja was different. Granted, I went into the experience knowing that I already had reconciled with not completely ‘succeeding’.
It all started when my daughter Blais and I started to watch American Ninja Warrior (she was 7 at the time)...and we would often talk about how fun it would be to make it onto the show. Then one night I told her that I was actually considering trying out. Her face went blank and she said in a panicked voice: ‘But mama, what if you fall into the water on TV, you’d be so embarrassed!’ It was at that moment I knew I had to give it a try – to prove to her that nobody has anything to be embarrassed about if they give it their all. Spoiler alert, I did end up falling in the water. Twice! lol.
After being on ANW Seasons 7 & 8, and spending the better part of a few years training for them, my ‘Ninja career’, as it were, came to an abrupt halt when I found myself lying face up under a trapeze bar, blood spewing from my chin and my teeth crunching in my mouth. In short, during a local competition I flung myself off of a trapeze bar into the air, supposedly to catch a metal bar that was a good distance away. I did end up catching the bar…with my mouth. It was a horrible scene; I gashed the bottom of my face open (water literally dribbled out of my chin), broke a finger, chipped several teeth and ended up with a mouthful of stitches. Yet the more unfortunate part was that my daughter Blais was there and witnessed the whole bloody mess. Literally. Needless to say, while at the hospital watching my lower lip get stitched she asked me to stop competing.
Making the decision to leave Ninja was a no brainer…on one hand. On the other hand it definitely made me look in the mirror (face full of stitches and all) and do some soul searching. How could I walk away from an athletic challenge without ‘succeeding’? And what does it even mean to ‘succeed’? What, exactly, are the goals of these types of adventures, anyway?
When, at the ripe young age of 44 I stopped and really took inventory of my situation, I realized all the beauty that had ensued in pursuit of this self-made goal of mine. I realized that I had just as many small celebrations and victories in reaching the small goals that never would have been a possibility without aiming (and failing to achieve) the larger goal. I had amazing moments of love and laughter and friendship. Maybe I hadn't ‘failed’ to reach my goal(s) after all.
Of course, this lean into the idea of ‘failing’ impacted me professionally. I hung a picture of a turtle in my therapy room. Below her it says: ‘Behold the turtle, she only makes progress when she sticks her neck out’. I try to hold this belief when sitting with clients…often a person's ‘failure’ ends up being a wonderful launching pad!
In your view, what is the most important factor when tailoring fitness and wellness plans for clients?
In my opinion the most important factor when working with clients is to be able to provide the exact type of wellness plan that is catered to each and every individual, in any moment, on any given day. Given that belief, I don’t have a one-size-fits-all model, and in fact, how I work with the same client from week to week may vary because of their changing moods, goals, and life events. Ninja Therapy is about meeting my clients where they are, physically and emotionally. Only then am I able to truly find the delicate balance of supporting and challenging the whole person.
People see themselves as they are. One privilege of being a therapist is that we get to see, truly see, and experience peoples’ true potential. We get to see who they can become. The fun part of therapy is when the person sitting across from you also realizes their potential!
What advice would you give to young athletes, and parents of athletes, who struggle to balance physical and mental wellness in high-pressure environments?
That’s such an important question. Across the board, most of my clients would say that their least favorite part of any sports activity is the ride home with their parents. I can’t tell you how many stories I have heard from athletes at every level who absolutely dread the car ride after a game or tournament. Kids know what they have done ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; they know if they have performed up to their (or their parents’) standards. Yet parents often feel the need to take that time to give not-needed feedback, according to my clients.
So to parents of athletes I often say ‘talk less, act more’. (i.e., offer a hug or a high five instead of an intricate synopsis of the game). And sometimes the old adage ‘Silence is Golden’ is worth remembering…and instating. Let your athlete be the one to talk, or not, about their performance. Similarly, when you are talking, be willing to discuss other topics with your athlete, their teammates and other parents. Meaning, could you imagine as a parent at a sporting event asking another parent what book their child is reading? Or where they are volunteering?
Our young athletes, in my opinion, need the adults around them to help them find balance. How can our kids find a middle ground if their parents live in extremes? The reality is that only 1 in 16,000 high school athletes go on to become professional athletes. Think about that for a minute. Think of how much pressure we as adults put on these kids, when those are the odds. It’s important to remember all that sports offer growing minds…frustration tolerance, team work, delay of gratification, a sense of purpose, etc. We first-hand experience just how amazing it feels to finally reach a fitness/athletic goal…and also how terribly disappointing it can be to fall short. I can’t think of another modality in life that teaches us such amazing life lessons, in such a fun-filled way!
Another suggestion, to both athletes and their parents, is to be proactive about finding good mental health support. In my experience, some clubs and coaches are more proactive and forward-thinking about helping their athletes maintain a good life-sport balance. They will encourage days off from training for mental health reasons, encourage cross-training and actually want their players to be balanced (and happy) human beings. They realize the importance of growing a whole person, not just someone who is an expert in one sport. If you are part of an organization that is not forward-thinking in that manner, search out private support.
If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why?
I would like to see the industry of therapy/counseling move in a more collaborative, less elitist direction. I find that a common misconception of therapy/therapists is that we have the ‘answers’ to solve our clients’ problems... and that therapy is for people who are broken and need ‘fixing’. While, of course, therapists should be experts in our particular fields of study, our job is rarely to give advice. Our job is to ask the correct, poignant question(s) to help our clients figure out their own answers to their own lives.
While it does seem as though mental health awareness continues to become more mainstream and the stigma of therapy has decreased over the years, I continue to find many misconceptions and mistruths about therapy. I believe it is our job as clinicians to help proport the truth about therapy and counseling. Every so often I have a client ask me if ‘therapists go to therapy’. My answer is always the same: ‘Only the good ones.’ Lol.
Visit my website for more info!
