Written by: Mona AlHebsi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I’m quite certain that most of you have those one or two inspirational leaders or mentors who have supported you during a vulnerable time in your career life. They have championed you to believe in yourself, cleared annoying obstacles from your pathway to help you move forward, or encouraged you to dream big and achieve your goals.
In my own career, I have had 2 such leaders who I will always cherish for what they have done to support me. I’ve learned from them a lot about how to be a good human and a better leader myself and connect with my team. One of them was a wonderful woman leader in my early career life and the other one was the most supportive male leader I’ve worked with in my recent working years.
The interesting observations I had while I was working with them, unlike others, that they both made time for me, made me feel important and acknowledged my unique skills and insights that I brought to the table. These things in turn, brought the best out of me and motivated me to put more discretionary efforts to ensure we succeeded as a team and my managers looked good in front of their seniors.
Both of my most admired leaders possessed some unique humane traits that made them great leaders to work with. These are called: “Feminine Leadership Traits” because they are feminine qualities that are naturally found in the makeup of women and thus qualify them to lead better than their male counterparts. Fair to say that men who develop these feminine leadership qualities in them stand a great chance to become inspirational leaders like my previous manager.
Empathy
Women possess highly developed EQ abilities; a study conducted about the same matter, revealed that women had outscored men in 4 out of 5 EQ traits i.e., self-awareness, self-regulation, social skills & empathy, while both men and women had equal scores for motivation. Of course, we have all encountered some great male leaders during the span of our careers, and they were that great because they have worked on developing their EQ skills. The discussion here is that EQ traits come naturally to women while men must develop them as key skills to become more effective leaders.
Most women can empathize with others effortlessly and relate to their feelings and perspectives mainly because they are good listeners. It’s through empathy, one can build connections with others then engage in meaningful conversations that help people feel heard and understood. And guess what do you get as a leader when your team members feel heard and understood? They will do everything in their capacity to lift you up and keep you from failing by delivering high-quality outcomes. On occasions, you will feel that they are loyal to you more than the organization they are working for; this is the real beauty of human connection!
Vulnerability
Many people in a corporate or professional setting get uncomfortable when they even think about the word “vulnerable.” As a woman, I find it quite powerful and liberating to be vulnerable. Vulnerability simply means being comfortable to express your emotions freely. In other words, not shying away from showing the human side of you and being authentic in your approach and how you communicate with others.
Building on the concept of showing empathy, you can only take it forward and build connection with others by allowing yourself to be vulnerable when needed. This removes any perceived emotional or hierarchical barriers between you and your team and creates a beautiful space to connect on a human level. They can relate to you more and the communication can flow openly both ways.
Leaders who lack this trait, often come across as being out of alignment with themselves because they are working hard to portray a fake image about themselves and their preferences just to fit the “corporate scripture”. As a result, they diminish their chances of influencing their teams and outcomes positively and thus lose credibility.
Balance
As women are natural caretakers and nurturers; they better understand other non-work-related priorities like family issues, children schooling and quality time with loved ones and offer more support to their team members with such needs. Let’s face it, full-time jobs end up taking a major part of our days and leave us with extraordinarily little time for other important things like family, sleep, exercise, and leisure, to name a few.
Leaders who treat us like adults and trust that we will make good use of our time are far more worthy of respect and admiration. Therefore, many studies have shown that the level of autonomy that you get at work is directly correlated with your level of engagement and thus productivity. This way, only you can balance the demanding requirements of your job while keeping yourself satisfied that you have given yourself and your family the quality time both deserve. An understanding leader can certainly make your life easier in this sense.
Intuition
Since women are intrinsic beings, most intangible human-related elements like processing complex emotions and getting hunches comes naturally to them. And guess what? If you have abilities to deal with such sophisticated matters, then you don’t need to worry a lot, because most issues that we face in life are results of either not being able to deal with complex emotions or that we ignore what our intuition is trying to signal to us to avoid disappointments.
I personally credit many of my successful outcomes to my ability to trust my intuition and act upon my hunches most of the time. Women are generally quite intuitive and skillful at acting upon it and getting great results. You can always become good at this by doing more of it, you might get it wrong at times, but the more you are connected to yourself and with experience, you will get extraordinary results in your life. And remember ~ numbers don’t always tell the full story ~ don’t be deceived by the lines always being repeated in boardrooms! There are other intangible elements that figures cannot capture, and your intuition (inner wisdom) will bridge that gap for you, so learn to trust it.
Generosity
Female leaders tend to be more giving to their teams and by giving here, I mean the things that the leader does above and beyond the call of their duty with the exclusive intent of seeing people grow and find meaning in what they do. Generosity and giving in the context of leadership extends to much more than things that have monetary value, things that are priceless.
Going back to the feminine nature of caring and nurturing, giving comes in different shades and forms, like giving teammates a sense of purpose, trusting them, giving them importance, giving them chances, giving visibility, giving encouragement, giving forgiveness, allowing them to make mistakes, giving credit & praise, sharing knowledge and experience with them, coaching, and mentoring them to see them grow and shine, giving them moral support and the like.
To sum up, as we climb the corporate ladder, our people skills will be the key differentiator of our effectiveness and sole determinant of our success. Our technical skills may have been helpful most in the beginning years of our career to move us to the next level, but not as leaders working with all kinds of people.
The advanced phases of our careers call for a unique set of skills and abilities like the above-mentioned ones, which don’t require us to do much other than embracing our humanity and connecting more with others. So, as you move to more senior roles, your success will be directly determined by your ability to be authentic and bring out more of your humane traits to make others feel understood. You can, in fact, turn your feminine leadership traits into a big strength if you know how to polish and utilize them correctly.
If you find yourself struggling to overcome toxic work patterns and feel stuck in a mediocre job, know that you are not alone. Career & Success Coaches like myself can help you be aware of your blind spots while guiding you towards career options that will make you achieve personal effectiveness and fulfillment. You can email me at info@monaalhebsi.com
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Mona AlHebsi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Mona AlHebsi, is an Award-Winning Hotelier, HR Practitioner, Success Coach, Renowned Author, and Speaker. She has recently been named “Most Influential Woman in Hospitality Human Capital” and "Inspirational Female Leader" due to her eminent contributions to the hospitality industry and Human Resources profession. Through her book “Beat The Odds,” Mona aims to provide a roadmap to all hoteliers and working professionals on how to make their work a vehicle to delivering excellence and achieving astounding success. She instinctively knows how to ignite the courage in others to stay true to their values and capitalize on their strengths, which will ultimately steer them towards success and fulfillment. Mona's life mantra is "The more odds you beat, the greater will be your feat"!
