Written by: Serene Shereef, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The grass always seems greener on the “other side”, right? So how can we create greener grass right where we are? There are 3 key mindset shifts that allow you to let go of FOMO [aka fear of missing out] and create your own unique green grass, complete with magical sparkles!
What is FOMO?
FOMO which is fear of missing out, is the underlying fear that there is something happening out there that is amazing and somehow we're missing out on it. FOMO can cause significant stress as it creates that baseline anxiety and dissatisfaction with the way things exist. And ultimately FOMO creates an urgency, that life will be better when we have checked the boxes on achievements or acquired certain things in life. This arrival fallacy unfortunately does not materialize, creating an even deeper urgency to keep adding more to our list; to do, to achieve, and to acquire.
Mindset Shift No.1 Connect to your life vision, values & goal
FOMO was an existential struggle for me too. This idealized picture which is often adopted from social media imagery and external ideals of success; in career, parenting, relationships, personal fitness & all of the areas in life. One day, I woke up and realized that I [along with a millions of others] are on that pathway to creating a result that is based off of someone else's life. I hadn’t even considered what I truly wanted. The reality was that FOMO was stealing my time, from living out my true goals and values.
Letting go of these externally – motivated ideals, which were not in alignment with my goals, life vision and values was the first mindset shift that set me free. Actively connecting to our internal motivation and desire is a key element in intentionally designing and creating a life that is meaningful.
When this mindset shift is first implemented, there are going to be many thoughts and emotions that come up. This happens anytime we are working to create something unfamiliar to our brain. Over time, we can program our brain to recognize this new pattern of thought and behaviors, aka reprogram our neural pathways on this new habit.
I remind myself, that I'm not actually losing anything by intentionally choosing how my time is spent, despite whatever my overdramatic brain tells me. That sense of overwhelm and struggle with decision-making is normal because one part of our brain “thinks” that we “should do it all to be productive and successful”. While the other part of our brain is rebelling against doing something that is not in true alignment with our internal values and goals. When we stop this process, and reset expectations by asking some key self-reflection questions, it allows us to understand what we truly want.
“What do you want your day, week, month, year…life to look like?”
“What are your core values and life vision?”
“What fills your heart with joy and laughter?”
Now what are you willing to think, feel and do to create this vision?
We were never meant to “do it all”. We were never meant to “know the right things”. Now that you have permission to stop, let’s pause and reflect on what you truly want. What is the one truth in your life? Follow the thread and slowly unravel what you always knew in your subconscious. This is your green grass, and it was always there, right beneath your feet.
Mindset Shift No.2 Disconnect from what isn’t you
As I have processed through FOMO and its manifestations, I have often felt like one of those paintings by Pablo Picasso, feeling fractured and out of alignment, and not truly understanding where all the pieces fit. When we create our life masterpiece, it’s important to recognize that our masterpiece isn’t going to look like the others. Nothing has gone wrong, we are not missing anything. This is what it looks like when something beautiful and unique is created
Take the time to step back and to explore…
“What does this mean in my life?”
“Am I still staying true to my purpose?”
“What do I need right now?”
Our ability to think is really one of our superpowers. As we create clarity in what is true and meaningful in our lives, it’s important to be brutally honest on what is dispensable. If we want to take a ride on that magical carpet, we have to be willing to let go of everything else that keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel.
Greg McKeown describes this beautifully in his book Essentialism, the disciplined pursuit of less, as a way for us to explore what is our highest point of contribution and eliminating everything else. This is the best reason [and permission] to say “No” to everything else that comes through our journey, distracting us with FOMO, the fear and scarcity thoughts that propels us to keep adding more while making no real progress. Ultimately these scarcity thoughts [and subsequent additions to our to-do list] are the key obstacles in creating our unique masterpiece.
So with this clarity, what are you going to say “No” to and with loving firmness remove from your life?
When we explore what it means to embrace our power to choose, by designing and creating our life, we build clarity on how to prioritize our time, our energy, our focus, all of our internal resources that allows us to live in our strengths and create our unique footprint in the world.
Mindset Shift No.3 Connect to this moment
The multitude of data points and opportunities that shows up daily is immense. Often multiple things which aligns to our values and goals may come up at the same time. So how do you choose? How can we overcome the paralyzing impact of confusion and indecision? We are now digging deep to not just what is important, but also what is the most important thing in this one moment in time?
Are you struggling with making choices in your life right now because of FOMO holding you stuck? Then I invite you to shine a light on this fear, which is the scarcity that is built into the fabric of our day through social media and all of the news outlets. Let go of this fear of scarcity and lets really bring it right back to our own inner wisdom, our internal desires, connection, love, belief, and contentment. What are the answers that you're hearing reflected back to you?
Trying to determine what is the one focus or priority when we are so used to having a to-do list of lots of priorities can be challenging. Priority is actually meant to be singular, but over time we have multiplied that as an entire series of priorities, so our brain is firing in multiple directions at the same time, eventually fizzling out with the energy used up.
Letting go of FOMO requires letting go of our never-ending to-do list of priorities and connecting back to our inner wisdom. It requires giving ourselves permission to focus on one moment at a time.
Ask yourself the questions that are the hardest to figure out…
“What is it that I actually want to create for this one moment in time?”
The answer isn’t to tackle 3 “priorities” at the same time, or to figure out a life hack to multitask. The answer is to commit to yourself, and to the one essential focus that your mind has identified as the One. The tools of mindfulness allows us to savor this moment in time, we are exactly where we were meant to be. There is no missing out on what's out there because this moment was intentionally chosen to be the One. This moment was created in alignment with goals, life vision and core values. This moment was created by letting go of all the non-essentials to reveal what is truly the One.
“What would you choose to do in this moment in time?”
If you let go of the fear and underlying scarcity that “this is the only time” or “I will be happy when…”.
Once you intentionally choose how you want to spend your time and energy, then believe in your inner wisdom. Nothing has gone wrong. You are not missing anything when you are fully present and in the moment in your own life. Let’s savor this moment, being exactly where you are, enjoying your green grass. Let’s enjoy finally arriving to this moment...free to enjoy being happy now.
If you are ready to take it even deeper and really apply this to your life, if you're tired of being stuck in the same place every day, having the same problems, not understanding or not knowing how to create that change, I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me. So we can explore what this means to your unique set of needs. If you're ready to take your life to the next level, then I invite you to explore this because the truth is nothing changes if nothing changes!
Serene Shereef, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Serene Shereef is a general & trauma surgeon and a mindfulness & productivity certified life coach. After struggling with severe burnout and hitting rock bottom, she used the energy of mindfulness with the scientific principles of habit building and created systems of productivity to reclaim her life. She now uses this unique powerful framework to help other professional women struggling with burnout and overwhelm to take control of their time, mind & energy. She has created an integrated mindfulness and productivity program that builds clarity on your life’s passion and purpose and uses individualized systematic tools to take control of your life so that you have time for everything that is important to you. Her goal is to help you do less and live more, embracing the joy of living your best life.
