Written by: Dean Nelson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight thin their area of expertise.
How do you handle stressful events? How quickly do you recover from negative events or trauma? If your supervisor treated you unfairly and embarrassed you in front of your peers, how would you react? Would you lash out at them? Would you badmouth them to fellow employees? Or would you suck it up and wallow in self-pity?
You could respond positively and not allow your feelings to become hurt. It may be quite tricky at times, but your hurt feelings can be effectively managed with a clear mind and an open heart.
What Causes Stress
Stress can be induced by anything that angers, frustrates, causes pain or sorrow, makes you feel inadequate or unworthy, or sets you back. Daily occurrences such as driving in traffic, arguing with someone, receiving offensive remarks, failing at something, compulsive behaviors, attempting to master complicated tasks, feeling unable to control emotions, or feeling guilty or ashamed can overwhelm almost anyone.
Can you relate to any of these situations? Everyday stressors like these considerably impact most people's lives, causing detrimental mental and physical health issues. Doctors agree that most health concerns are stress-related. Stress can have a severe impact on virtually every bodily system.
Lingering in negative states of mind can have long-term health consequences. Even if a strong-willed, highly confident person chooses to ignore compounding stress, it will likely bring them to their knees at some point with physical and/or psychological issues. We must learn ways to eliminate or reduce excess stress to improve and lengthen our lives. Who wants to live in misery?
How Do We Handle Stress
Many people deal with their stress by engaging in unhealthy behaviors like comfort eating, smoking, excessive alcohol or drug use, poor choices in diet, or succumbing to inactivity and lethargy. They are attracted to unhealthy habits because it is easier than facing their challenges. They want instant comfort and temporary quick fixes.
Some may ignore or bury their stress deeply within, hoping it will resolve on its own. Many slowly roast themselves in an oven of self-pity or antipathy, causing additional pain and grief. They become self-absorbed and cannot move beyond their negative feelings or find ways to cope with their problems and past traumas. They are so stuck in the mire that they cannot envisage a clear path to resolution. It is a sad predicament in which many people feel incapable of liberation.
The Way Out
It is paramount to understand that no one can cause us to become stressed. No one can cause our feelings to become hurt. We create our own stress, and we alone are responsible for handling it. What we resist persists, so we should fully experience our emotions and allow them to dissipate naturally. When we realize that we have become fixated on our problems, it's time to let them go. Here are ten sure-fire solutions for coping with stress. Excerpts from Beyond The Threshold, Simple Transformational Techniques To Awaken Your Potential. Author: Nelson, Dean 2019.
Acknowledge your situation and feel it. Never resist your feelings. Always mentally or verbally realize your negative situation, and be in the moment with your emotions. Be angry, frustrated, hurt, or whatever comes up, and acknowledge how you feel. You may even say to yourself, “It’s ok to feel this way; I’m angry.” You can set a time limit on your feelings, say five or ten minutes, and move yourself into more positive thoughts of how you want to feel once your time has expired.
Don’t judge yourself or your feelings. Remember, this is only an event, not you. You are the one viewing the event or situation. If you label your feelings as terrible and something you don’t want to feel, you open the door to resistance. What you resist persists and gets buried deep within you.
Share your feelings. Sometimes it helps to share your situation with another person without turning it into a complaint session. Speak with a trusted friend or coworker and express your feelings. They may offer helpful advice. Also, it may help to speak your situation out loud to yourself. Often, a resolution to an adverse event will come to light when you have a conversation about it.
Look to the future. Ask yourself what you can learn from this and how this situation can benefit you. Sometimes the most horrific events in life can blossom into positive transformations.
Care for yourself. Instead of binge eating, indulging in excessive alcohol, and lying around feeling sorry for yourself, you can care for yourself with a nutritious meal, enjoy a cup of relaxing tea, walk, or meditate for a few minutes. Taking a restorative power nap can also produce beautiful benefits.
Accept your situation. You don’t always have control over the things that happen to you. Think of the things you do have control over and focus on them. You can control your emotions and how you react to events. You can manage your diet, whom you hang with, your self-talk, your decisions, and your actions.
Remove yourself. Remove yourself from negative people. Stay away from people who constantly complain and drag you down with them. Shy away from situations that foster poor behavior. Find people and events that make you feel good and happy.
Remain in the present moment. When experiencing tense times of crisis, practicing mindfulness and various breathing techniques is always beneficial. Focusing your mind on the task or whatever you are doing now helps bring stability into your awareness. Slowing your body and mind down during meditation will induce a clear and calm state and may provide insight into problem-solving.
Be the silent observer. Practice observing problematic situations as if you were viewing them from outside yourself. Look at them from the perspective of the silent witness, just observing events as they occur. This approach may give rise to intuitive insights and solutions that may not have come to mind otherwise.
Honor yourself. Give yourself a break, forgive yourself, and know you are imperfect and will make mistakes. Unfortunately, catastrophic things will also happen to you, things you have no control over. Learn to relax and allow life to flow through you, knowing things will work out in the long run. Love and care for yourself as if you were caring for your little child.
If you wish to experience a wide array of additional life-changing techniques from the author, Dean Nelson, visit here for books, articles, and research links to awaken your potential.
Dean Nelson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dean Nelson is the best-selling author of three self-help, inspirational, and motivational books with another in the works. For nearly 30 years, he spent countless hours attending seminars, researching, studying, and seeking out ways to awaken his potential. His sincerest passion and mission in life is to provide simple shortcuts to living a more fulfilled and inspired experience. For those who are struggling and ready for change, Nelson shares his enlightening psychology for those seeking an immediate positive transformation.
