Trea Tijmens, Switzerland’s top dating expert and elite matchmaker sat down to answer the most frequently asked questions about the modern world of dating and matchmaking.
Her decades of experience and impressive success rates in helping successful single professional clients find life partners are quite exceptional in her industry.
Trea Tijmens, Elite Matchmaker and Dating Coach
What questions should you ask a matchmaker before working with them?
Here are the top 3 questions I would ask:
What is their success rate and how do they define success?
Most matchmaking agencies define success as fulfilling on a certain number of dates. For years, I defined success similarly, until I realized that the percentage of my clients who were in a happy relationship by the end of their membership term was quite low.
Years later and after many iterations and optimizations of our science-backed program, at SuccessMatch we define success as being in a committed relationship by the end of the program and over 85% of our clients have that. We’re not talking about being happy to go on a second date but rather a true transformation.
How reputable is the matchmaking agency?
While this is an important consideration, it can be difficult to get a reliable answer. Of course, you want someone with a good amount of experience, but just because they’ve been in business for 20 years doesn’t necessarily mean they will do a good job. Generally speaking in this sector we work with a lot of discretion and happy people won’t necessarily want to publicly share their experiences and results.
SuccessMatch is certified by The Matchmaking Institute, which is the only school in the world that can certify matchmakers and obliges them to adhere to a certain ethical standard.
Who will you be working with?
Some agencies will have you speak to a sales representative to get you to sign up, implying that you will be helped by the head of the company but once you actually get started you have a 25-year-old managing your file who just started working there this summer.
The first match that needs to be made is between you and your matchmaker. If you feel you’re a good team, you’re much more likely to succeed.
Additionally, if anyone you’re working with tells you it’s going to be an easy process, be careful ‒ it’s never easy. There are always challenges in finding someone the right partner because every person is unique. While it’s good to have high expectations, unrealistic expectations are not good and your matchmaker should be setting you up for success, not a disappointment.
Do you have any tips for people who haven’t dated in a while and who are looking to get back out there?
Answer: My best piece of advice is to just do it! Sometimes we get stuck trying to put a million things in place before we’re willing to put our personal priorities first but the best thing you can do is to just get started right now.
If you can get some support, that can be very helpful but make sure it is someone who knows you well and has your best interest at heart. Having someone to guide you and help you identify your blind spots can be game-changing as you start dating again to avoid the common pitfalls in the dating world. You can read all the books and watch all the videos you want, but without actually starting to go on dates, you won’t find the love of your life.
You work with highly successful, career-oriented women from all over Switzerland, is there any common challenge that these women share while looking for love?
Most women I work with have been very focused on their careers and have left finding the right person to chance. I repeatedly hear that they have always thought that once the time is right, it will happen on its own, but when that inevitably doesn’t happen, they come to me looking for the support they truly need.
In all other areas of their lives, they invest the time and energy needed to get to where they want to be yet in their personal lives they leave it entirely up to chance, and unsurprisingly, nothing happens and they only realize that they will have to do something more to find a partner once they feel a sense of urgency to settle down and many times start a family.
If you’re still single but don’t know why then click here for exclusive access to my Why are you still single? Masterclass.
