Written by: Paul Tinker, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This is my first article Brainz magazine so I felt somewhat compelled to write an introduction to how I find myself even here today. I hope that this story will inspire someone else to realise this very simple change to their thought process… like it did for me.
Come back with me to 2003 where it all started to go downhill for me.
I find myself behind firstly held at gunpoint on an airport floor with the muzzle of Heckler & Koch MP5 rifle pressed to the back of my neck, the cold steel I can still feel today when I think about that day. That morning, in front of my then wife and young daughter, was been shunted to a cell along with 9 others….. in a foreign country.
The worst part – I did not speak the language so I couldn’t understand or communicate with the other being held or the soldiers holding me.
This was probably one of the scariest moments in my life, being held captive in the darkness, in an unknown place, unable to communicate, surrounding by shouting, screaming and violence.
I was serving in the British Military at the time, overseas on what it is considered to be a privileged posting in the sun. I paid no such respect to that honour at the time and was chasing success through money.
A the time – thinking that money was the only measure of success – the more I had – the more successful I would be.
How wrong I was about that – see a stint in a Turkish ran Cypriot prison cell, a significant financial penalty, a divorce, and a punishment posting from the military makes you realise that very quickly.
I, however, did not learn this that day – I continued to chase the money.
I get back to the UK where I was sent to become a training instructor to young recruits, which was rewarding from a professional level but not financially. I couldn’t get my “extras” here.
So I took up part time security work in the field of close protection at weekends and evenings to bring in some extra cash – this earned me some more money – but cost me my marriage at the time.
I couldn’t work it out – I am bringing in the money – and my marriage breaks down? How does that even work?
So, as I was now single I leave the military after a 14-year career and move to the north of England to find professional construction work in managing construction sites – very quickly I rose through the ranks and found myself heading up a small division of global organisation delivering national framework refurbishment projects.
This was a high ticket, high salary, company Range Rover, 4 x apartments around the UK, flying to work by jet – from the outside, I had it all.
I held my marriage together this time.
I did not do the same for my health.
I became a fully functioning alcoholic and abused the drink for around 4 years, seeing off 5 points of strong beer, a bottle of red wine and half bottle of Jack Daniels on a daily basis.
I was in a very dark place until I realised I was literally drinking myself to death – I was set to be one of the wealthiest men in the graveyard if something didn’t happen quickly.
What was causing this behaviour – the job? Stress? The marriage? My family? Others? I couldn’t figure it out until I attended a personal development course, which I was very dubious and nervous about but embraced it.
The behaviour was being caused by me. Nothing else. All of the reasons I was looking for were all excuses, justifications, and BS that I was using to give myself a reason for behaving that way.
In that one fleeting moment – I became aware of it all and made the conscious decision to change my life completely.
I removed all of the triggers that I had for the behaviour – including my 6 figure salary job, the car, the apartments, the jets – everything.
I threw it all in and focused on myself.
I stopped drinking in that moment and haven’t touched a drop for just over 3 years at the time of writing this and built several successful businesses since doing so.
The turning point for me – was the awareness and acceptance for what I had become and what I was “being” and realising that decision to change started with one simple decision to do it.
My military training and high levels of discipline that were possible when applied kicked in and took the action I know I needed to take to make those changes.
One of those businesses, in particular, is my training business where I train property investors to make more profit from their refurbishment projects, I work with people who are and were just like me – and I make changes to their lives through coaching, training and accountability.
My life now is completely unrecognisable.
I stopped chasing the money and focused on adding value and my self – when you can make this shift – the results simply follow.
Paul Tinker, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ex-military training instructor, left the military following a term in a Greek Cypriot prison to try a career in close protection, Paul quickly made the decision to go to the construction industry.
He spent 13 years in the corporate world of property refurbishment completing over £300M in revenue
After a stint of alcoholism - he turned his life around and found entrepreneurialism and became a multi-business owner now training property investors to make more profit from their refurbishment projects alongside his construction business
