Written by: Robin Goldsbro, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Designed and optimised for stress. Our ancestors were no stranger to stress and faced many challenges. You might imagine that evolution and natural selection would have resolved our inherent difficulty with stress, but most of the stresses our ancestors faced were physical, yet, the modern world presents unique challenges that contribute to increased stress, for which we’ve not had to deal with before in our rapidly changing landscape.
Stress has in fact become an epidemic, although we don’t tend to reference it that way and it’s estimated that between 80%-90% of all GP visits have stress as the underlying factor. The world doesn’t seem to be slowing down, which means there is an imperative to become more resilient, but how do we create tougher minds and is it possible to leave a life that is stress free?
In this article I want to impress upon you that it is possible and I’m going to show you how, using science, psychology, and something we’ve known for a very long time.
If you’re seeking a significant shift in your life, this is the article for you.
What are we dealing with
Here are five key trends of the influencing factors which contribute to the level of stress most people experience…
1. Technological advancements: While technology has undoubtedly improved our lives in many ways, it’s created other challenges, as we try to keep up with the ever-faster pace of life, including the expectation to always be available and the overwhelming volume of information and modes of distraction shouting for our attention.
2. Work stress: Our demanding and competitive environment includes long hours, tight deadlines, and high expectations. Balancing work and personal life is now a crucial aspect, where this used to be simply part of life.
3. Economic uncertainty: Global economic fluctuations, job insecurity, and financial pressures make us feel afraid and contribute significantly to stress and anxiety. We all need a stable platform on which to stand and uncertainty about the future impacts our well-being.
4. Social pressures: Social media pervades our life and while it’s wonderful to be connected, it brings comparison and a myriad of corresponding pressures. Constant exposure to the fake and curated offered as genuine, lead to feelings of inadequacy, unfulfillment and stress.
5. Environmental concerns: In the past, we lived harmoniously with nature, recognising we are part of nature and not separate from it. However, in our quest for individuation and seeking ever more, we’ve acted irresponsibly, abusing and commodifying the natural world. Natural disasters, ecological crises, and climate change give rise to immense concerns for the future of the planet and well-being of our future generations.
These are all pertinent issues, and though we cannot suggest these will not have an impact on us, it’s still possible to navigate these without stress. Here’s how…
The basic imperatives
At the core of the mind lies an underlying imperative: to keep us safe and ensure our well-being. Every action and process the mind undertakes is ultimately designed to fulfil this purpose. However, the mind is efficient and therefore operates based on interpretations and rules of thumb, rather than absolute certainties. It relies on heuristics, mental shortcuts, and past experiences to make sense of the world and guide our behaviour. These interpretations are often biased, incomplete, or influenced by subjective factors. These are relative and not absolute truths. While the mind's primary goal is to protect us, its reliance on interpretations means that its judgments may not always align with objective reality. In summary, we feel whatever we think.
Just understanding this fundamental aspect of the mind allows us to be aware of our cognitive biases and engage in critical thinking to make more informed decisions and navigate the complexities of life more effectively. By recognising the mind's innate drive to ensure our safety and well-being, as well as acknowledging its reliance on interpretations, we can cultivate greater self-awareness and make conscious choices that promote our overall ability to thrive. But that isn’t all…
Stress isn’t what you think it is
Stress, contrary to common perception, is les a noun and rather a verb, representing an activity – a process of the mind. This distinction aligns with the insights of renowned linguist, Noam Chomsky, and the concept of ‘nominalisations’. Chomsky argued that language can transform verbs into nouns, which can obscure the nature of the original action. In essence, if you can’t put it in a bucket, it’s something you ‘do’, not something you have.
Most people view stress as a noun, but this can lead to a static understanding of it as an intrinsic state or condition, but in recognising stress as a verb, we acknowledge its active and evolving nature—a process rooted in our minds that involves the perception, interpretation, and response to various situations and events.
The challenge with stress and anxiety arises from our unconscious and rapid acceptance of beliefs that may not align with reality. Often, we find ourselves convinced that something is true, even when evidence suggests otherwise, or we harbour a deep-seated fear that we will not be okay. This cognitive process operates at such a swift and unconscious level that we often fail to recognise its influence on our mindset and well-being. The consequence of this unexamined thinking is what we experience stress, operate as if it’s true and create a feedback loop that reinforces the situation with more stressful thinking.
This understanding is impactful because it encourages us to approach stress as something we can navigate and manage, empowering us to develop effective strategies and cultivate resilience in the face of life's pressures.
You feel what you think
" Thought creates our world, and then says 'I didn't do it’ " – David Bohm – physicist
This quote highlights the paradoxical nature of our thoughts, as thoughts can both perpetuate and alleviate stress. By becoming aware of the role our thoughts play in generating stress and anxiety, we gain an opportunity to challenge and reframe our beliefs, cultivating a greater sense of calm and well-being in our lives.
A stressful equation
You might be starting to realise that, while it seems stress is coming from the situation and circumstances we perceive, it’s actually coming from our thinking, perceptions and beliefs about the situation.
Consider this. For ‘you’ to have a problem, in this case stress, there must be four component parts:
An event or situation
An outcome (something you don’t want)
Impact on you
An awareness of the impact. (What you don’t know can’t hurt you)
Parts 1 & 2 are subjective, and interventions like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are helpful in addressing distressing thoughts and beliefs, they centre around examining the "truth" or validity of these thoughts and beliefs. However, they overlook crucial aspects (3 & 4) the truth of who is experiencing these thoughts.
The crux of the matter with lots of our mental health problems lies in our tendency to become entangled in our thoughts and beliefs, mistakenly identifying ourselves with the internal voice and stream of thinking. We often believe that we are the internal voice. That we are the thoughts themselves, and this intensifies the impact of stressful situations.
When we recognise that our thoughts are transient mental events, rather than an intrinsic part of our identity, it allows us to gain a broader perspective and develop a healthier relationship with our thinking patterns. By detaching ourselves from the misconception that we are the product of our thoughts, we can navigate stress with greater clarity, resilience, and peace of mind.
“A thought to the mind is like sound to the ear”.
Beyond your thinking
Let’s explore the element that most talking therapies ignore.
If I’m aware of thoughts, but I’m not the thinker, who is it that’s feeling stressed out?
Explore this simple idea with me – To be "you," there must be a sense of consistency; an enduring presence that remains amidst the ever-changing nature of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and experiences.
If you agree, the aspects of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and experiences are transient, they come and go at will, and therefore cannot be ‘you’, for ‘you’ are not disappearing as these leave your awareness. This means you must be something else.
To know who we really are beyond our thinking, we must enquire about what it is that’s always present in all our experiences. That within us, which remains unchanging, regardless of the situation, circumstances or thinking.
Upon enquiry, you can realise that the only part of us which remains always consistent, always present is our awareness of it all.
Your awareness is the unchanging backdrop against which the ever-shifting landscape of your thoughts and experiences unfolds. It’s like the sky, inseparable to and always there, unchanging, regardless of the clouds which pass through it. If you believe you are the clouds, your mood is at the mercy of the rain. If you believe you are the sky, the clouds can do whatever they like, without it impacting you.
The implications
By recognising and connecting with this underlying awareness, we tap into a source of stability which has a profound impact on how we perceive and relate to stress. By recognising that the true source of stress arises from concerns that we’ll not be ‘ok’ and our identification with thoughts, feelings, and experiences, we can gain a new perspective that can help alleviate its grip on us.
The understanding that you are the awareness, allows us to cultivate a sense of detachment from stressful thoughts and emotions. We realise that stress is not an inherent quality of our true self, but rather a product of our identification with the ever-changing content of our minds. By stepping back and observing these thoughts and emotions without identification, we create space for them to arise and pass without consuming us. We understand that stress is a transient experience that arises and subsides within our awareness itself.
This understanding allows us to meet stress with a sense of calmness, knowing that we are not defined by it and that we have the capacity to navigate it skilfully.
I said we had real issues at the beginning
The events are real, in so far as it’s true that we’re telling ourselves a story. They’re real in the sense that you might still need to take some action, but action can be without stress.
Understanding our true essence helps us detach from the pressures and expectations. We come to realise that external factors do not define our true essence and while these factors may still be real and require our attention, we understand that taking action does not have to be synonymous with stress.
By cultivating a sense of grounding in our awareness, we can better manage our boundaries, using technology in a way that supports our goals and without unbalancing our mental well-being. This understanding allows us to decouple from societal pressures and expectations, recognising that our self-worth is not tied to professional achievements or social status.
Even when there is uncertainty, we find stability and well-being within ourselves. As we release the need to control, we free ourselves to embrace and nurture genuine connections. As our understanding deepens, we develop a profound interconnectedness with the world around us which leads to sustainable actions, stewardship, and active participation in positive change, we transform environmental concerns into a source of empowerment and purpose.
Building your inner resilience
From the understanding of our true essence, resilience takes on a deeper meaning. Resilience is not simply about bouncing back from adversity or tough situations; it becomes a reflection of our inherent strength and capacity to navigate life's challenges while maintaining a sense of inner stability.
Resilience, in this context, stems from the recognition that our true essence, the unchanging awareness within us, remains intact, regardless of external circumstances. It is an acknowledgment that our core being is unshakeable, and it provides a solid foundation from which we can face life’s ups and downs with grace and calmness.
Resilience goes beyond mere endurance; it involves the ability to adapt, learn, and grow from adversity. It is the capacity to meet challenges with mindfulness, compassion, and an open heart. Instead of being overwhelmed or defined by stressors, resilience allows us to respond with clarity, resourcefulness, and a sense of inner strength.
Ultimately, resilience, from this understanding, is a testament to the profound wisdom and strength within us. It is an invitation to embrace the truth of our being and navigate the ebb and flow of life with a deep sense of trust, adaptability, and resilience.
While an intellectual understanding of concepts and ideas can be a valuable starting point, it is important to recognise that true transformation occurs when we embody this understanding through direct experience. It is through direct experience of this inner stillness and recognition of our true essence, that we can discover freedom from stress, as we realise that stress is not inherent to our essential being.
To cultivate this embodied understanding, a process of self-inquiry can be initiated. This involves turning our attention inward and exploring the nature of our own awareness.
Self-Inquiry and an experience of awareness
You’re looking for a feeling, not a thinking
Take a moment to recognise your current state as you read this article. Notice as thoughts flow through your mind your brain actively processing and evaluating them, fragmenting, and categorising the information.
Notice that amidst this mental activity, there is an underlying knowing, an awareness of it all happening. It’s like an awareness of the screen and the words, together yet separate - you couldn’t have one without the other, an instant of knowing at the end of every thought. Now, shift your attention away from the content of your thoughts and direct it towards that knowing.
In this space of awareness, you will find a profound sense of stillness and tranquillity. It might be fleeting at first as your conscious mind kicks in. It is in this stillness that your true essence resides—a reality that remains constant regardless of the content of your stressful thinking. When you touch this place, you come to realise that stress is not inherent to your being; it is a result of the stories and narratives created by your thinking, which turned stress into a noun and masked the underlying reality of your innate well-being.
By engaging in a process of self-inquiry and recognising the presence of stillness and awareness beyond the content of your thoughts, you can experience a profound shift in how you relate to stress. It’s possible to live in that knowing which unveils the inherent well-being that lies within you, allowing you to navigate challenges with greater clarity, peace, and resilience.
It is important to acknowledge that there are real-life matters to attend to, but by recognising the story created by your thinking, you can untangle yourself from the consuming experience of stress. As you touch the quiet knowing within, you transcend the illusion of stress and awaken to the truth that you are always okay at your core.
Robin Goldsbro, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Robin is a Mindset, Leadership and Performance Coach on a mission to help individuals become epic leaders who make a difference in the world.
Through his bespoke one-to-one programs and powerful principles-based strategies, he helps people become the highest expression of their unique and authentic selves, by focusing on their deepest levels of mind, identity and consciousness.
Working with Robin is an empowering experience, bringing clarity, confidence, focus and self-mastery, enabling you to realise continuous excellence, through being more you than you’ve ever been before. This leads to vast improvements in performance and success, but also helps you get back in touch with that feeling of aliveness and joy in all you do.
