Written by: Vivien Hudson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How long have we been talking about how bad stress is for us? I don’t know about you, but I am kind of over it.
Stress is bad for us – it causes bad juju. The biochemistry of going holy moly I am so stressed, is bad, very bad. It makes you sick and tired. Literally.
As I was thinking about this, I had to bring my 18-year-old daughter into the mix. FYI – I won’t ever get mother of the year awards.
I said, ‘I’m kind of tired of hearing about how much stress is around, and how bad it is.’ (Says the motivational speaker who speaks on stress).
So, I asked my stressed-out teenager what does she stress about? She said she was worrying about picking the right college degree, cost of living, whether she will graduate in 2 months (she’s pretty much over the finish line), potential college debt, expectations to name a few, and health issues.
When I asked Copilot what people stress about, these included family responsibilities, relationships, financial struggles, work pressure and health concerns.
All valid.
And I won’t say I don’t stress myself.
The stress response is designed to help you RISE to the occasion – ask TED speaker Kelly McGonigal.
Stress is a signpost
Stress is a signpost there are things we need to give (not pay) attention to.
When you give your attention to these stressors, you will find there are things you can do.
If it is far away like potential college debt, having enough for retirement, or being able to afford to buy a house – make a plan. If it is short term stuff – prioritize and focus – your brain scramble is not helping.
Your stress is saying – this is something important to you and we need to think about this.
What happens instead? People get paralyzed in fear, ignore the problem, act out, or blame others and expect them to fix it. It’s the classic fight, flight or freeze response.
Ugghhhh – the government sucks, my boss sucks, the interest rates suck, and I will never get ahead. These again are valid concerns. But how does stressing about this help you?
Anything you cannot control is kinda frustrating right? Are you going to let this rule your life?
Stress is a signpost – one that says you need to do something.
If you wait for the boss, the government, or the economy to fix stuff, you will be waiting a long time. You must learn to let go of and accept what you cannot control. Aside from writing to your local members and voting, there is not much you are likely to do to impact some of the big issues. You might be brawny enough to want to roll up your sleeves and go in for the fight. Me, I look at these things like doing the dishes, it’s not fun, but it’s a fact of life so I may as well get on with it.
Get raw and real
Now it’s time for me to get a little raw and real here. I had a pretty shitty low point in my life.
Life was peachy, but I am always one for living on the edge.
Our big family decision was to move from Australia to the US with our 3 young kids. We had no jobs to go to, we had a bit of a plan and a strong belief in ourselves and each other. You only live once, so you may as well take a few chances. Crazy plan, right?
Well things often sound good in theory but there are always those things outside of our control. We were selling everything – our business, house, cars, and souls. They say moving is one of the top 10 stressful things that can happen to a person, let alone moving literally halfway around the world.
As we were selling things, and everything looked like it was going accordingly, my husband took a head start to the US with the kids, and I would follow shortly after once everything was settled. It was a start.
Well, the best laid plans have a way of making their own agenda. The bottom fell out of the housing market, and our house sale fell through for the third time. When it came to the crunch, I found I had more business debt than I care to admit to. The puzzle didn’t exactly look like it was falling into place. The icing on the cake was I needed minor surgery. For someone who NEVER gets sick, this was a real slap in the face.
I can’t say jumping off my balcony didn’t cross my mind. At one story up, it wouldn’t have been productive.
With the odds stacked against me, and my family half a world away, I was stressed – financially, mentally, and physically. I woke up one morning with the best intention that all stressed out people do. To stay in bed. If I stayed in bed, I didn’t have to deal with anything. Right? In my opinion it seemed like a solid plan.
My family couldn’t exactly jettison back to me, so staying in bed was working for now.
As the day crept on, my thoughts were a tornado in my head. I knew I wasn’t helping myself. I knew no one else was coming to fix my life and I had to face the hard truth, it was up to me. I also knew the longer I lay there the more likely I was to head toward depression. Now that is what really got me out of bed! It was time to get raw and real.
The pharmacist in me applied the absolute best medicine first – exercise. I went out for a brisk walk. There is nothing like movement and getting a sweat up to increase your endorphins. If doctors could only prescribe one medicine, exercise should be it.
Once I got back home, I picked up my Tony Robbins book – ‘The Power Within’. Thanks, Tony, for getting me in a better headspace. If Tony could pull himself out of a pile of shit, so could I.
The next task was to write down all the things that were within my power to do. Some tasks, less pleasant than others. As I worked my way through my list, I felt better. I was once again in the driver’s seat in my life.
The days ahead were not without challenges, but it was the power within me that made things happen. That helped me overcome the stress and the challenge. I made it to the US eventually but that’s a story for another day.
Stress here was a good thing – it provided my signpost and inspired me to take action.
Stress motivated me to stop feeling sorry for myself and do what I could to help myself.
My stress also empowered me to ask for help and get support from some pretty special people.
Stress feels bad and sucky, but it is a signpost. A signpost to take action on what you can control. To plan, but don’t expect everything to work out just so. Because we know how my story turned out.
What I learned from all of this is just how strong I am. How low I could go without falling apart completely and that the people in your life will have your back.
Do something
Feeling stressed about life, careers, finances, or friends? Do something. Taking action sets you free.
If you are worried about your health – learn about it – exercise if you can, eat right and get the right care. If you have lost someone, give yourself the space to grieve, feel the loss and understand your emotions. If you have relationship issues, be vulnerable enough to share how you feel and what you want and drop the anger. If you worry about losing your job, make yourself valuable by educating yourself and becoming a master at what you do. If your work deadlines are stressing you out then be realistic, prioritize and learn how you can be productive and happy. If you are living paycheck to paycheck – do a budget and see where the money is going and what you can consolidate. If your bad attitude is stressing you out – change it!
The bad stress comes when you don’t take action. As you are taking action, I recommend exercise, nourishing meals, sleep as well as you can, some deep breaths, helpful mantras and a friend or two to share your struggles with. There’s a few more things you can do but this is a good start.
Let’s bust this stress thing. Every time you say stress is bad, your brain believes you – it’s a pretty good listener. So instead, say stress is a good thing, and let’s take action. You’ve got this!
Vivien Hudson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vivien Hudson is a reformed pharmacist who went through her own journey of discovery when she trained as a life coach, moved hemispheres, and achieved her Masters in Business Adversity. This training enlightened her to how much change we can affect in our lives by understanding stress, the stories we tell ourselves, and how we show up in our bodies. Self-awareness, finding purpose, and living authentically are at the heart of effective change and leadership. Vivien combines her experience in health and wellbeing, business ownership, and the challenges she has faced in her own life to bring depth and diversity to her work She is trained as a life and performance ontological coach, brain fitness practitioner, on purpose presenter, speaker, and corporate trainer. Her purpose is instilling courage to help those she touches live a life well-lived.
