Written by Jan Bailey, Communication and Speaking Coach
Jan Bailey is a seasoned communication and public speaking trainer specializing in leadership presence, clear communication and confident presenting. Fascinated by the reluctance most people have around speaking up, speaking out and speaking in front of others, Jan set out to change the way people think about public speaking and presenting.
If you’re lucky, you have a person in your life who is a great story teller. They are able to weave a tale and spin a story so well that by the end of it you marvel at how such a small moment in time can be turned into an epic journey filled with laughter, relatable characters and maybe even a lesson or two.
Unfortunately, you’re not that person and the idea of ‘telling more stories’ at work makes your stomach turn. Perhaps you don’t like to be the centre of attention. Maybe you don’t believe you have a funny bone in your body. Or maybe, for some bizarre reason, the stories you tell always seem more interesting in your head. You are absolutely not alone, and the good news is – it doesn’t have to be that way.
More and more frequently in my work, clients come to me bogged down with directives from their boss or their organization that they need to tell better stories, in fact, the whole organization needs to tell better stories! Though that sounds like the corporate culture is shifting toward relationship building and direct engagement with clients, it isn’t all that clear for the people who work there. In these exchanges with my clients they tell me they have no real idea what ‘tell better stories’ means or how they’ll work toward it. In the end, they simply feel it’s one more layer of speaking in front of other people that they quickly begin to dread.
Fundamentally, this whole problem is rooted in the person in your life who is a good storyteller! Okay, not really, but for the purposes of this article, that comparison is helpful. Like so many communication concerns, the root of this story telling challenge is perspective. When your boss asks, suggests, or tells you that you need to become a more effective story teller when you present the fourth quarter numbers to the board your brain immediately flashes to the best story teller you know or have heard. And that’s where things start to break down.
Storytelling to you means:
Make people laugh – a little, or even better, a lot,
Be the centre of attention and the life of the situation,
Paint a dynamic picture with a colourful cast of characters and events.
Oh … and could you do all of that on the fly, at the drop of a hat, or in the spur of the moment? Is it any wonder that very few people think they’re good story tellers, and even fewer people look forward to trying it at work?
Is there a solution? Yes, and it begins, like many communication solutions, with a definition and a little reframing.
Here’s an idea. How about we stop using the word – storytelling? At the very least, stop hearing the word storytelling. Don’t panic, I’m not asking you to begin to ignore your boss or the latest company mandate. Rather, I’m asking you to translate the word in your brain when someone says storytelling. How do you do that?
With experience. Experience is the word you need to start hearing. When someone asks you to tell a story, they are simply asking you to share an experience you might have that is relevant or related. Phew! That was amazing – all of a sudden that storytelling thing just got easier, didn’t it?
No one is asking you to create a piece of theatre on the spot, complete with musical score and dance! When clients ask for more stories, all they want is for you to hear what is being asked, what problem is being voiced and then share an experience that demonstrates that you (or your organization) have what it takes to solve it. That is what your boss is asking you to do more of.
Feeling better?
I do recognize that there may still be a few obstacles as you begin to embrace and practice this ‘experience sharing’.
In the moment you might not be able to think of an experience.
The experience in your brain is not relevant
Your company or department doesn’t have any relevant experience to share
Like all things, you can’t decide on a Monday that you’re going to become a master at sharing work experiences and roll out your new style on Tuesday. Like all things communication, it does take some practice and here are some ideas to begin:
1. Good, old fashioned brainstorming
Start within your team or your department and collectively remember your successes and your growth. Every brain is different, and some people are simply better at logging and recalling experiences that fit certain scenarios. Outline some common concerns that clients have and then engage the group in a brainstorming session – ‘can anyone remember a time or a situation when we solved that problem?’ or – ‘we demonstrated excellent customer service’ or – ‘we excelled at client communication’ or – ‘we came up with a brilliant work around’ … You get the idea.
2. Data mine your life
Maybe your business is new or it’s pivoting and you have a deficit of direct experience. That’s the time to broaden the search and think about all your past work experience, volunteer experience and life experience. You take the brain you have at home to work every day – so use problem solving experiences from your life, for example, to demonstrate your ability and determination to find creative solutions at work.
3. A company story book
This is a great strategy that can serve all companies well. Kind of like tales that are shared around camp fires and passed down through generations, all companies have ‘stories’ about how they began, how they serve clients, or dramatic or creative examples of problems that were solved or logistics that were built. These company-wide stories are especially helpful for people who are new to the organization or the profession, or who simply aren’t as comfortable finding or sharing their own experiences. The biggest challenge with this strategy is encouraging people to write experiences down and collecting them in some form that everyone can access. I strongly encourage you and your company to develop a system for experience sharing.
4. Borrow and benefit from others
Just because you personally didn’t solve that client’s concern doesn’t mean that you weren’t a support in the building or executing of the solution. Even though you might not have hit the winning run, you’re part of the team and can tell the story of the win with pride and a sense of ownership. Give credit where it’s due and take credit for the role you played. Given that you work with a team and for an organization, it’s even okay to share experiences from before your time working there because those ‘stories’ you’re borrowing are examples of the corporate culture and the value system of the organization. Share them with pride.
The research around stories is in and you know it to be true. As humans we love stories – we love to envision ourselves in them, we love to learn from people who are like us within them and we remember the lessons much more easily when they’re shared in a story form. That much is true. What you now know is that a story is simply an experience – your experience, your organization’s experience or an experience from the broader expanse of your life. Begin, today to practice remembering, recalling and sharing your experiences. It doesn’t happen overnight, but you will get better at it, and with some speaking strategies that you’re learning every time you read one of my articles, you’ll get clearer, more confident and more compelling as you continue to share your experiences with others.
Jan Bailey, Communication and Speaking Coach
Jan Bailey is a seasoned communication and public speaking trainer specializing in leadership presence, clear communication and confident presenting. Fascinated by the reluctance most people have around speaking up, speaking out and speaking in front of others, Jan set out to change the way people think about public speaking and presenting. More laughter and less lecture, more personality and less powerpoint and a whole lot more confidence means professionals at all levels are more effective communicators. A dynamic speaker, an engaging facilitator and an insightful coach, Jan genuinely believes in the power of effective communication to change lives; personally and professionally.
