Written by: Lucie Matsouaka, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Imagine a politician that you admire deeply because of the way he carries himself in public. He’s respectful, kind, and seems to truly care about the needs of the people. Moreover, he’s intelligent, well educated, masters his craft, etc. You don’t always agree with everything he stands for, but you admire the fact that, at least, he tries his best to serve the people. Of course, no one is perfect; you know that so you’re willing to work with what you have. What’s not to love about him? He seems to be a family man, an amazing husband who holds his wife’s hand in public and takes good care of his kids. The ideal package. Because of all those great characteristics, whenever you mention his name in conversations with your students, kids, colleagues, or family members, you often refer to him as one of the few leaders you truly respect.
Then one day, as you’re watching the news on TV, you hear Breaking News. You see a mugshot of your role model, the man that you aspire to be like with the words, Allegations of Cheating on his Wife with Multiple Women and Domestic Violence. You pause for a moment, all types of emotions running through your heart. You’re angry, disappointed, hurt, heartbroken, discouraged, disgusted, shocked, aggravated, and you feel betrayed. The first words that come out of your mouth are, "I can’t believe this. You don’t even know who to trust anymore." And it’s not over. You now have to find a way to explain to your students, kids, or those who respect you and look up to you why you introduced him as a great person to follow in the first place. That’s uncomfortable, right?
Well, we’ve all been there in life. And if you haven’t, it’s coming. I only chose the political arena as an example. How about a university professor, a teacher, a community organizer, a pastor, the CEO of an Inc. 500 company, a colleague, or a dear friend you introduced to your family, anyone you see as respectable?
I can guess why you feel disappointed when things like this happen. Deep down in our hearts, we have a clear idea of what true leadership looks like. Even if we don’t always do the right thing ourselves, we have high expectations for our leaders, and we expect them to lead by example. The truth is that their success in one particular area of life gives them influence and credibility in many other areas of life. We now expect them to be honest, transparent, and sincere both in public and behind closed doors. They give us a sense of hope. They permit us to dream big by the way they carry themselves. They challenge us to become better human beings. We tend to forget that they’re all human beings with weaknesses and flaws in those high expectations. We forget (or we don’t know) that the true essence of leadership success is success in our private lives first before we’re successful in the public eye.
While we’re watching popular “leaders” do big things in the world, young people are watching as well. They’re not only watching them, but they’re also paying attention to the adults' reactions closest to them. Unfortunately, we keep emphasizing skills while neglecting the most important part: character, the leader's heart.
I’ve had these conversations with young people on several occasions, and most of them say the same things, "I can’t wait to become an adult myself because these adults dropped the ball." This to say that those in leadership are not reliable and need to be replaced by people from their generation. What they don’t know is that despite their eagerness, drive, and strong desire to be in charge and become the change they want to see in society, they might end up making the exact same mistakes we’re making today or worse if they don’t have the proper guidance. Sadly, when it comes to leadership, young people often receive their “cues” or guidance from the wrong sources. Whose fault is it? As I said in my previous article, I refuse to blame them. It’s our job to try our best to guide them and put the right (or proper) information in front of them as early as possible.
How do we introduce this new type of leadership to the next generation? It starts in our homes, schools, communities, and our seminars. We have to emphasize the importance of integrity in leadership, i.e., becoming a better person overall. Teaching them how to make their values the cornerstone of their lives will allow them to understand what true leadership is about. It will force them to work on their character first and then create the desire to lead with integrity.
Here are a few ideas on how to help the next generation of leaders lead better.
1. Self-examine. Always start with yourself. Is there something in your attitude, character, motives, and lifestyle that isn’t healthy? Are you willing to have some people around you who have the capability to hold you accountable? What are your values? What are the things you’ll never compromise?
This first step, in my opinion, is the most important because when we get this right, it allows us to identify the type of leaders we can proudly point out to the young people we care about in our lives.
2. Help them develop their self-awareness (personality, strengths, passions, etc.).
3. Expose them to strong, accomplished leaders through books, conferences, podcasts, different perspectives, different ways of thinking, etc.
4. Help them stretch themselves. We need to put our youth in a situation where they’ll be forced to push through their limits and think differently. Push them out of their comfort zone. That’s how they’ll expand and grow. They should start making mistakes while still under our leadership because once they get out there in the real world, it’s tough. We need to give them opportunities to lead projects, speak in public, speak in front of a camera, take the initiative, etc. Meanwhile, we praise them when they succeed and coach them in their failures.
5. Make sure they read, read and read the right books. Leaders are readers! Do some research on the best books on leadership, read them yourself first to ensure that the information aligns with your values, then suggest them to the youth around you. That is why I first asked you to self-examine. You can’t lead anyone where you’re not going. Kids are keen observers. They will easily figure out when you are not truthful or lead by example and confront you.
6. Speak life into their lives. Be generous with your praise, remind them how great they are, and plant the seed of self-belief in them. Help them see themselves just the way God sees them. If you help them see their own potential, they’ll feel empowered to take on bigger challenges, and by default, they’ll expand even more.
7. Last but not least, don’t put leaders on a pedestal, no matter how great they are in your eyes. If you do, you’ll introduce them to others as such. In our home, we teach our kids to be students, not followers. We encourage them to observe, study leaders, and study us. We encourage them to question unethical behaviors or advice. We’re all human beings, and we make mistakes. However, some leaders try their best to be the same in public and private, while others choose to live an inconsistent life made of deceits and lies. At the end of the day, if we want the next generation of leaders to learn how to discern between the two types of leaders and aspire to become the type of leaders that we will be proud to introduce to society, it’s our responsibility to start within our homes, our schools, our small communities, in our everyday conversations.
As John Maxwell says,
"Everything rises and falls on leadership."[1]
My heart desires to help build the next generation of leaders who don’t just learn skills. Anyone can learn skills and build a huge organization. Remember this, the more a leader grows, the more influence s/he gains. If the foundation is wrong, the leader will eventually fall. When a leader falls, it drastically affects the hope of those who believe in a better society. It affects our future leaders. We can prevent this.
If you have been inspired to start doing things differently, share this article with others, and let’s continue this important conversation. Now, I want to hear from you!
To connect with me, visit my website or follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you speak French, feel free to join our French-speaking community, L'Emergence De L'Entrepreneur, for more tips for emerging entrepreneurs.
Lucie S. Matsouaka, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lucie S. Matsouaka is a Certified Professional Career Coach who believes that it’s not enough to only help people look good on paper before a job interview. As an International Youth Leadership Coach, she gives them the tools they need to separate themselves from the masses and have a successful career, no matter what that means to them. She founded L’Emergence De L’Entrepreneur, a French-speaking empowerment platform where she teaches emerging entrepreneurs how to navigate entrepreneurship storms to stand out and be successful.
