Written by: Brooke Summer Adams, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Today's article is a step by step guide for moving yourself from where you currently are, into that person you've always wanted to be. Written by Brooke Summer Adams (Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Best Self Blueprint Founder, and Yahoo Finance Top 10 Female Life Coaches 2021) this guide will walk you through her signature process for transforming someone into the very best version of themselves.
While this at first can sound quite generic, you'll see that this process is completely tailorable to you, at every single step. Remember, both the person who you currently are and the person you want to be - are specific to you, therefore - your process for change needs to be specific to you too! This article will allow you to figure out who your unique best version is, and your specific steps to get there. From here, you just need to do the work! Happy Transforming!
1. Figure out who your best version of yourself is
The first step of this process is to figure out the end goal. Who is it you want to be when you've done this work? Who is the very best version of yourself? This is really important, without clear direction it's very easy to get lost.
This can at first seem like an overwhelming task, however, it doesn't need to be. The information we are looking for is very specific and will allow us to see what changes need to take place. Hang in there, there's a method to the madness.
We want to know:
1. What kind of life is your best version of living?
Don't overthink this one, a few descriptors will do the trick. Essentially here we are simply creating a label for the kind of life we want to be living - we're just setting the tone. If you're struggling here, a great question to ask yourself would be "If an old friend called me up today and asked me "How's life?" what would I LOVE to be able to say?" For example, this could be - a happy life, a fulfilled life, a meaningful life, an exciting life.... and so on.
2. What kind of action are they taking?
Here, we want to know what kind of stuff are they doing. What are their habits like? What are their routines? What are they doing for work? What are they doing for fun? What goals are they working towards? A great way to get an idea of this would be to imagine a day in your life as your best version, from start to finish. While walking yourself through this imaginary day, make note of everything they do. For example, "my best version wakes up at 7 am, meditate for 10 minutes, eat a healthy breakfast, practice self-care, begin working on their business in the late morning, they have a coffee break in the afternoon with a friend"... and so on.
It's really important here to let go of what you think you should be doing, and focus on what you want to be doing. There are no expectations for how your best version "should" be - you make the rules.
3. How do they feel?
With this one, we want a general idea of their "default state". Emotions are fluid, and no one feels the same way all the time. But, we are looking for the way they tend to feel, most of the time. Examples here include calm, peaceful, happy, loving, content.... and so on.
4. How do they think?
This is both the trickiest and the most important step - so don't rush this. When we say, "How do they think?" - we are trying to paint the picture of what their mental headspace would be like.
This includes...
The kind of self-talk they use
How is your best version talking to themselves? What is it they are saying?
The places they choose to invest their mental energy
What does your best version focus on? What do they think about most of the time? What do they notice about the world on a day to day basis?
Their typical thinking styles
Do they tend to perceive challenges as problems, or opportunities? Do they see the positives in a situation day-to-day or the negatives? Do they give up when things get hard, or do they think of new solutions? These questions will mean whatever they mean to you, chances are you already know exactly how you wish you could think. Trust that.
Their beliefs about the world
Do they believe in themselves? Their abilities? What kind of person do they identify as? Do they believe the world is full of opportunities? Do they believe their dreams will come true? The key here is to give the answers you wish were true, let go of being "realistic" for a minute.
It can feel somewhat trivial to generate this important information via imagination, but understand that the part of your mind responsible for imagining, has no distinction between fact and fiction, your answers are just as accurate as they would be if you were put in that situation for real. Try not to overthink it, trust that you already know. If you're struggling, you'll find training talking you through this part of the process within Brooke’s Facebook Group - "Transformative Trainings: Women Becoming The Best Versions Of Themselves."
Step 2. Map out your process for change
Again, another step that can at first seem overwhelming, but with the proper know-how, its really not. The important thing to understand here is that the results you get in life are determined by your actions, your actions are determined by your feelings, and your feelings are determined by your thoughts. The person that you are right now is a result. Your thoughts, feelings, and actions have created that result.
For example, you may be currently experiencing the result of living a supposedly "meaningless life", this will likely be because the action you're taking isn't very meaningful, and this could be because (amongst other things) you're in a state of frustration, and don't FEEL like taking meaningful action. This is probably because you're focusing a lot of energy on things that frustrate you, affirming your frustration with self-talk, and having an overall thought process centered around how frustrated you are.
If you're thinking in a frustrated way and focusing on everything that frustrates you, you'll feel frustrated, so you won't take meaningful action. With repetition, this will generate the result of a "meaningless life".
However, that best version of you is also a result.
Let's say for argument's sake that your best version is living a "meaningful life". This would be due to the fact they take meaningful action, which they've done because they're feeling fulfilled (perhaps). They're feeling fulfilled because they are focusing on everything that fulfills them, they are affirming their fulfillment with self-talk, and are using thought processes centered around their fulfillment.
If you're thinking in a fulfilled way and focusing on everything that fulfills you, you'll feel fulfilled so you'll take meaningful action. With repetition, this will generate the result of a "meaningful life".
These are just examples, but can you see how this works?
In order for you to get the result of being your best version, you're going to need to take action like your best version. In order to take action like your best version, you'll need to feel like your best version. In order to feel like your best version, you'll need to think like your best version.
We already know how your best version does each of these things, as we have that information from step 1. Now, we just have to do it.
This concept is known as the belief cycle, and it underpins any of the results we get in life. As you can see, when this cycle is in full flow, it perpetuates. This is what we call momentum. This is how you're going to move yourself from where you currently are (today's result), to where you want to be (the desired result).
3. Teach your brain to think like your best version of yourself
To be truthful - the easiest and quickest way to do this is by working 1-2-1 with someone who is experienced with the process of retraining thinking. However, that doesn't mean you can't do this independently.
The "ways" in which we tend to think, speak to ourselves and perceive our environments are for the most part habit. (Remember, these “ways” are what determine the way you feel, and thus what action you'll take and therefore what result you'll get).
Sometimes, the habitual thinking that we are using on a day-to-day basis may not serve us. For example, if you had a subconscious habit of noticing everything stressful within your day-to-day life, coupled with a habit of negative self-talk, you'd regularly feel like you're struggling within stressful situations and may even doubt your abilities. This would cause you to feel stressed, and perhaps even feel a lot of self-doubt or worry. This would then reflect in your actions, you may make poor decisions or quit whatever it was you were doing, to begin with. This is not going to produce a very desirable result.
Using the information you collected in Step 1, you can paint a picture of how this might play out for your best version. For example:
You may have said that your best version notices everything that they are grateful for, that they focus on movement towards their goals, and that they cheer themselves on with positive self-talk. This kind of thinking would be what is underpinning the content and motivated feelings (for example) that your best version has. These content and motivated feelings allow them to take the action they need to achieve their goals. They have the result you are wanting.
It all starts with thinking, so putting the work in to teach a new way of thinking to your brain is the most effective thing you can do.
Start with teaching your brain to focus on, and bring awareness to the things that you said your best version would. For example, if you said your best version would focus on what makes them happy, and would automatically notice everything that they are grateful for - start journaling on your gratitude, or practice consciously bringing awareness to what is making you happy throughout your day. Over time, your brain will begin bringing awareness to these things automatically - without trying. You just have to teach it how.
Practice consciously thinking about situations/experiences/events in the way you actually want to!! If you said your best version would see challenges as opportunities for growth, make a conscious effort to remind yourself of this thought every time you face a new challenge. Next time you face a challenge, that thought will be there ready and waiting for you.
Speak to yourself in the way your best version would! You'll be amazed at quite how many changes when you get yourself on your own side.
This can seem like a lot of effort, and sometimes it can be. However, this conscious deliberate thinking will become a subconscious habit. With consistency, this will just become your natural way of thinking, without trying - in about 90 days.
Again, you'll find in-depth free training about this part of the process inside Brooke’s Facebook Group. As mentioned, this work can be a lot simpler when working with a streamlined process and a second set of eyes to oversee it. If you want to learn more about becoming the best version of yourself via 1-2-1 coaching, explore Brooke’s website linked at the bottom of the article.
4. Start taking imperfect action
While retraining the thinking is the most effective place to start, working on the action level makes for the quickest changes.
If we can begin taking action in the way our best version would, we can begin seeing some of the results that our best version would get.
This is extremely motivating, it feeds back into your self-belief, which feeds back into your thoughts, which feeds back into your feelings, which again feeds back into your actions.
Beginning to take the action you said your best version would seriously help the retraining of the thinking while kickstarting momentum to allow this cycle to fully unfold.
Go back to the information you acquired on the action that your best version takes. Do what you can to begin aligning your everyday life with the everyday life you saw your best version having.
For example, if you said your best version starts their day with a morning routine, but you currently don’t start by creating a morning routine that you can follow.
We want progress here, not perfection. There is a maximum potential for the “best” that you can be each day. It may not be possible to make ALL of the changes you want to make immediately. However, it will be possible to make SOME. So long as you show up and put in what you can, you’re already showing up as the best version that you can be TODAY. Feel that.
5. Stay consistent
Rinse and repeat. Once your new way of thinking becomes natural and you start taking aligned action, you’ll get some of those results your best version has, and you’ll feel like your best version.
Once you reach this point, it’s yours. As soon as you feel like your best version, you are your best version. The way something feels is the true reality of it. Think about it…
Freedom is only a reality once you feel free. Happiness is only a reality once you feel happy. Success is only a reality once you feel successful. Your best version will be a reality as soon as you feel like them. So long as you make the choice to show up as your best version, this will happen. Now you just have to keep making that choice, every single day. Over to you!
People can connect with me via Email, Facebook, Instagram, or my Website. Wherever you go you’ll find helpful training and info on things transformation.
Brooke Summer Adams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Brooke Summer Adams is an Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach and NLP Master Practitioner. Rated 'Top 10 Female Life Coaches to Work With in 2021' by Yahoo Finance, Brooke runs her 'Best Self Blueprint' course, provides expert training in various online communities including her own, and works 1-2-1 with clients to help other women transform into the very best versions of themselves.
Following her own personal transformation, Brooke acquired an honors degree in psychology, certification in coaching, business and NLP, an international accreditation in coaching and qualified as an NLP master practitioner in order to truly understand the process of transformation - in a way that could be used to also change other peoples lives.
