Written by: Marlena O'Donnell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Is your cup half empty or half full? Do you have a starring role in an adventure film or a disaster movie? Are you a victim or a hero?
I don’t know your answers to these questions, but I know what mine are. I used to consider life to be a challenge. I was an Oscar-winning director projecting bigger-than-life images of possible negative outcomes of my endeavors I would worry about what may happen, what people may think about me, about others not liking or accepting who I am. It was tiring, exhausting, and utterly soul-destroying.
And then the film about my life changed.
Within six months, I lost my job of 17 years. I was bullied by my manager and treated badly by my company. Physically, I was in a lot of pain as I was recovering from two operations. I watched helplessly as my life unfolded in front of me. I could not imagine how this film could ever end well. But it did. Four years on, I now know that losing my job was one of the best things that could happen to me. It made me reevaluate my life, my priorities and look at what my heart truly desires. It gave me a new career and a new outlook on life.
I am playing a new role in the film about my life.
I am now running my own business, coaching others who, just like me in the past, consider their life to be disaster movies. There is no point in telling them - think positive, keep your chin up, every cloud has a silver lining, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They would not believe me.
If you were at the bottom of a pit of despair, would you believe someone telling you everything will be alright? Probably not.
Be in control of your reactions
Staying positive in the face of adversity requires a profound change in the way you perceive what happens to you. We find it difficult to cope with life’s challenges when we think that we are not in control of our life. This is true; we cannot control what happens to us, be we can definitely control how we react to life’s events, with the exception of losing someone we love, as it’s only natural to grieve.
But if we fail at a job interview, our relationships break down, Covid restricts our freedom, or any number of unwelcome events take place, we can choose to look for a silver lining or stare into the abyss of despair. We can look at things that did not work out for us as a gift of knowledge - we will learn a lesson from our mistakes, a future gift that we don’t know the value of just yet (just like me losing my job turned out to be the best thing in my life) or a gift of acceptance - “I will get through this because I’m a hero, not a victim in the film of my life!”.
Be Present
Another strategy is to stay in the present moment. Right now, at this moment, everything is OK, and it’s easy to be full of acceptance, contentment and have a positive outlook on life. It’s hard to stay positive when we go over past events or project our fears, anxieties, and doubts into the future. It is up to us to choose where our mind rests - in the past, the future, or the present moment!
Be Grateful
Staying present also helps us appreciate the many beautiful things in our life. Every day, I express my gratitude for the people in my life, the many beautiful things around me, and my wellbeing. When we focus on beauty and abundance, staying positive is much easier than when focusing on what we don’t or cannot have.
I’d love you to see life the way I do. My perception colors my reality, I have a choice of how I approach life’s events, and I can choose to view challenges in terms of gifts of knowledge, unknown value, or acceptance and am grateful for the many beautiful things in my life. The film has a happy ending!
You, too, can change how your life unfolds. Don’t wait and live your life with regrets. Let’s talk - you can book a conversation with me via my website: www.resilienceandresults.com
Marlena O'Donnell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marlena O’Donnell is a certified life coach, mentor, and motivational speaker specializing in freeing her clients from beliefs that are not serving them well. Marlena has successfully helped many people gain an unwavering belief in themselves, confidence, motivation, and courage to go after what they want in life through individual and group coaching, mentoring, and workshops. Marlena has personal experience of overcoming significant challenges in life and succeeding against all odds. This, combined with her thorough understanding of both business matters and personal issues, puts her in a unique position to help her clients successfully navigate their way through difficulties they face in all areas of life and achieve “the unachievable”. As a motivational speaker, Marlena inspires others to make powerful and lasting changes in their life. She has been a keynote speaker at business events, online conferences, and summits.
