Jessica Chesterman (HG, Dip.P) is a psychotherapist dedicated to transforming workplace mental health. As a distinguished Human Givens Ambassador, she specialises in helping individuals conquer depression and guiding couples through relationship challenges.
The festive season. A time when people happily come together, share stories, embrace each other, and connect, or is it?
The festive season is often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, it can also be a time of increased stress. Mental Health UK reported that 1 in 3 people experience declining mental health over the festive period.
Source: Mental Health UK
And I can understand why. There's the increased workload, financial strains due to the cost of living crisis, the fact that we are increasingly becoming more time-poor, and the social expectations that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Understandably, this can start to take its toll.
But we must not forget that the festive season is temporary. In spite of the stress, there is a lot to be thankful for. You may be sharing moments with loved ones, starting a new family, or celebrating in a warm home with a steady supply of food and drink. For many, this is not the case. Unfortunately, Christmas can be an incredibly lonely and isolating time of year, serving as a magnifying glass for the sadness that can accompany this beautiful thing called life.
Where possible, remember to see the good in the stress, the joy in the unpredictable moments, and the sweetness in the elf on the shelf while you can. But what are some things you can do to support your mental health over the festive season? Let’s begin with the basics.
Focus on self-care
Self-care is essential for your well-being, yet it can often be neglected. It helps to factor in these small but significant habits:
Movement: Don’t let the holiday hustle derail your fitness routine. Schedule some “movement time,” whether it’s a brisk walk, a run, or a home workout. Physical activity not only boosts your mood but also gives you a sense of accomplishment focused on you.
Eating: The festive season is a time for indulgence, so enjoy it! But aim for balance to avoid feeling unmotivated and sluggish. Sensible food and drink choices can keep you energized and stave off the post-holiday slump.
Prioritize sleep and slowing down: Sleep is as essential as nutrition for thriving. Without adequate rest, stress can feel more overwhelming, and our ability to cope diminishes. While the festive season may disrupt routines, prioritize sleep and downtime to give yourself opportunities to recharge.
Ways to prioritize emotional care
Our emotional care is built on nine essential emotional needs. These needs are psychological and emotional requirements that drive our behaviors and emotions.
When our emotional needs are met, we thrive. When they aren’t, mental distress, such as anxiety, depression, or addiction, can occur. Let’s explore ways to meet your emotional needs this Christmas:
Grab moments of privacy
With so much going on around Christmas, not carving out moments for yourself to process the day and decompress can leave you feeling overwhelmed. When you are overwhelmed, your responses are often led by your emotional rather than rational brain, which can heighten the situation you find yourself in.
Schedule solitude: Carve out moments to decompress, whether it’s simply heading to another room for 10 minutes, going for a nice long walk, or enjoying a bath at the end of the day.
Digital detox: Limit screen time. We live in a generation where people feel the need to share everything, which, at times, can feel like an invasion of privacy. Take a “tech time out” this Christmas and prioritize authentic connections instead.
Mindful activity: Engage in an activity that promotes your need for privacy, such as reading, listening to calming music, or coloring. Consider an activity that meets another need as well, like achievement, by going for a solo run.
Focus on positive attention
Positive attention is essential for our well-being, and during the Christmas break, there are many opportunities to give and receive it.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by attention, positive or negative,e consider these tips:
Prioritize positive relationships: Focus on the people who uplift and support you.
Take a time-out: It’s perfectly OK to step out for a while. Doing a breathing exercise with a longer out-breath will instantly engage your body’s relaxation system and help you calm down so you can re-engage with the “chaos” when you feel good and ready.
Set boundaries: Don’t hesitate to establish boundaries. Prioritize positive connections and limit any negative or unhealthy relationships to protect your mental health. Doing so will help you enjoy the festive season a little more.
Make sure you feel valued
The holiday season can be a hectic time, and it's easy to feel overlooked, undervalued, or even taken for granted, which ultimately impacts our need for status. If you're feeling this way, it's important to take ownership of how you feel and communicate your needs and expectations to others.
Here are some tips to help you feel valued:
Communicate openly: Express your feelings and needs to loved ones. Let them know what would make you feel more supported and appreciated.
Set boundaries: Don’t overcommit yourself. It’s okay to say no and instead focus on the great things you are doing. If needed, simply reaching out to a friend or someone who values you for words of encouragement can make a big difference.
Privacy: Take time for yourself to relax and recharge—you absolutely deserve it!
Nurture emotional intimacy
The holiday season can be a hectic time, making it easy to neglect emotional intimacy in your relationship. However, nurturing these connections is essential for a thriving partnership.
Here are some tips to strengthen your emotional bond:
Schedule quality time: Dedicate specific, uninterrupted time to each other. It doesn’t need to be a fancy dinner with candles, a walk, or lunch out, but it will be time for the two of you.
Unplug and connect: Turn off distractions like phones and TVs to fully engage in meaningful conversations.
Physical touch: Simple acts of physical affection, like holding hands, cuddling, or hugging, can strengthen your bond. Those little moments show your partner that you care.
Understand love languages: Learn your partner's love language and express love in a way that resonates with them and makes them feel seen.
By prioritizing emotional intimacy, you can deepen your connection and create lasting memories.
Build community and connection
Feeling connected to a community is essential for our well-being. It links us to a wider group of people and contributes to our sense of belonging. Even during the holiday season, when loneliness can creep in, there are many ways to foster that connection.
Here are some ideas:
Volunteer: Give back to your community by volunteering at a local charity or organization.
Attend community events: Participate in local Christmas fairs, farmers' markets, or other gatherings.
Join groups and clubs: Find groups that align with your interests, such as book clubs, sports teams, or hobby groups, and spend time with like-minded people.
Take classes: Enroll in adult education workshops to learn new skills. Stretching ourselves mentally and physically makes us feel good.
Engaging with your community can provide you with positive attention, combat loneliness, and potentially create lasting connections.
Prioritize emotional security
The holiday season can be a time of increased stress, so it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being and create a safe, secure environment for yourself.
Set realistic expectations: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for a perfect holiday. Some of the best memories happen when things go slightly awry; embrace the unexpected.
Limit stressful situations: If there are relationships or situations you find difficult, limit your exposure to them where possible. Make choices that help you rather than harm you.
Seek support: If your well-being is negatively impacted, reach out to someone you trust, whether that’s a friend, family member, or professional.
Don’t let thoughts or concerns spiral in your head; address them so they don’t grow unnecessarily.
Reclaim control
The festive season can feel chaotic, but small changes can make a big difference in helping you feel more in control.
Prioritize: Focus on what’s most important and let go of non-essentials.
Schedule: Organize your time with plenty of wiggle room, factoring in “you time” to avoid feeling rushed.
Budget: Set a realistic budget and stick to it. It doesn’t matter if someone gets one less gift or you run out of sausages!
Delegate: Share tasks with others to reduce overwhelm. No matter how small the task, use the support around you.
Keep achieving
Achieving goals adds to our sense of purpose and well-being. With so much going on, it’s easy to neglect yourself, so consider:
Setting small goals: Plan meaningful activities, like a father-son day, helping with crafts, or organizing a family run.
Learning something new: The holidays can be an opportunity to start a new skill that helps you feel accomplished.
Helping others: Whether it’s helping more at home, in the community, or doing something kind for a stranger, these moments add to your purpose and sense of achievement.
Find meaning and purpose
A life filled with meaning is a life filled with purpose.
Meaning is recognized as a key psychological need and a factor in reducing depression. (Source)
Here’s how to add meaning to your holiday season:
Connect with loved ones: Make quality time with your family a priority. Focus on laughter and shared joy without distractions.
Give back: Helping others feels good, whether through volunteering, assisting neighbors, or supporting loved ones.
Set personal goals: Challenge yourself with small, positive goals that align with your emotional needs.
So, how can you prioritize your mental health this Christmas?
By taking proactive steps and implementing the tips that resonate with you, you can enjoy a more peaceful and fulfilling holiday season.
And remember it’s okay to slow down, rest, and recharge. After all, you deserve it.
Wishing you a very happy, healthy, and Merry Christmas!
If you feel I can help you, click here to learn why the Human Givens approach to psychotherapy is so effective.
Read more from Jessica Chesterman
Jessica Chesterman, Psychotherapist HG, Dip.P
As a Human Givens Ambassador with 15+ years in corporate enterprise sales, Jessica Chesterman (HG, Dip.P) is passionate about empowering individuals to manage their mental health. Her therapeutic approach, grounded in the latest psychological and neurobiological research, is focused on understanding how emotional needs are met across all aspects of life. By addressing these needs, she aims to help as many people as possible thrive in the workplace and beyond
