Dr. Jane Greer is a nationally recognized marriage and family therapist with decades of experience in private practice and media. She is an expert in love and relationship intimacy, authoring her latest book, "Am I Lying to Myself? How To Overcome Denial and See The Truth", published in 2023.
As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us set resolutions focused on self-improvement, career goals, or health. But what about our relationships? The start of a new year offers a unique opportunity to reassess and reset the dynamics within our connections, paving the way for stronger, more fulfilling bonds in 2024. Whether it's a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a family relationship, taking time to evaluate and adjust can lead to transformative change.
Identifying unhealthy patterns
Dr. Jane Greer, a renowned relationship expert and author, emphasizes the importance of recognizing patterns that may be holding us back. “Unresolved conflicts, poor communication, and emotional distance can quietly erode the foundation of a relationship,” Dr. Greer explains. The first step in resetting dynamics is identifying these issues. Reflect on recurring disagreements, unmet expectations, or feelings of dissatisfaction. Are there unspoken grievances that need to be addressed? Are you prioritizing the relationship’s needs as much as your own?
Communication: The cornerstone of change
Healthy communication is the key to any successful relationship, yet it’s often the area where many struggle. Dr. Greer advises adopting an open and empathetic approach. Instead of focusing on blame, use “I” statements to express feelings and needs. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when responsibilities aren’t shared equally” is more constructive than “You never help out.” This subtle shift can make conversations more collaborative rather than confrontational.
Setting boundaries for mutual growth
Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy dynamic. They ensure that both individuals feel respected and valued. Dr. Greer suggests that setting boundaries is not about creating distance but about fostering mutual understanding. For instance, if you need personal time to recharge, communicate this clearly to your partner or loved ones. Boundaries, when respected, can enhance trust and reduce resentment.
Rekindling intimacy and trust
In romantic relationships, the hustle and bustle of daily life can often overshadow intimacy. Dr. Greer recommends prioritizing quality time to reconnect. This could be as simple as setting aside one evening a week for a date night or rediscovering shared hobbies. Trust, another cornerstone of intimacy, can be rebuilt by demonstrating consistency, honesty, and vulnerability.
The role of forgiveness
No relationship is without its challenges. Holding onto past grievances can prevent growth. Dr. Greer highlights the power of forgiveness in resetting dynamics. “Forgiveness is not about condoning hurtful behavior but about freeing yourself from its grip,” she notes. By addressing and releasing resentment, you create space for healing and renewal.
Actionable steps for 2024
Here are some steps to kickstart the process of resetting your relationship patterns:
Schedule a check-in: Dedicate time to discuss the state of your relationship. Share thoughts on what’s working and areas for improvement.
Practice active listening: Make a conscious effort to understand your partner’s perspective without interrupting or judging.
Set shared goals: Whether it’s improving communication, spending more quality time together, or tackling a specific issue, having mutual goals fosters teamwork.
Seek support if needed: Don’t hesitate to consult a therapist or counselor for guidance. Dr. Greer’s expertise underscores the value of a neutral third party in navigating complex dynamics.
Embrace the possibilities
The start of a new year is brimming with potential. By focusing on your relationships with intention and care, you can build deeper connections and lasting harmony. As Dr. Greer reminds us, “The effort you put into resetting your relationships now will set the tone for a more fulfilling and connected year ahead.”
So, as you jot down your resolutions for 2024, don’t forget to include your relationships. Together, let’s make this year one of growth, understanding, and love.
Read more from Dr. Jane Greer
Dr. Jane Greer, Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, Radio Host
As a marriage and family therapist who has spent decades working with clients in her private practice and through her media work, Dr. Jane Greer has become a nationally recognized expert and authority in love and relationship intimacy.
