We are delighted today to welcome back Florence Dambricourt with us. Passionate about human and their brain. Fanatic (nearly :-)) ultra-trail runner. Driven by curiosity and a very strong intention to “make a difference for the better”, Florence helps managers and their teams create clarity and actions so that they can take the lead (or take it back). Rather than shaping their future, they can then build it. She also works directly with individuals, helping them strengthen their Self-Leadership, through private sessions, cohort programs, or mentoring initiatives.
With two books published on Self-Leadership, “Swim Like a Fish” and “Speak Like a Fish”, Florence not only champions Self-Leadership, she provides a robust methodology, and with-it tools, to develop or strengthen it. She sees Self-Leadership as a must-have competency for everyone. She often laughs, summarising her work with this simple sentence “My mission? unleashing the power of Human Innovation thanks to Self-Leadership”.
Florence Dambricourt, Self-Leadership Coach & Culture Change Enabler
Welcome back Florence. And thank you for being game with this second interview.
Thanks for having me back. Being game is one element we do develop with self-leadership, and I am extremely curious to see where this opportunity is going to take us.
I love every article you published. But I have to confess, that one about confidence gets me thinking probably more than the others.
It always does. With these 3 Forgotten Facts About Self-Confidence, we start shaking off the myths that may keep us in small boxes or swimming in small aquariums. I was laughing at myself a few weeks ago. I caught myself feeling… low in self-confidence. I knew then. I just had to find where to redirect my focus (laugh). And I did.
Shaking those myths, that we can “Swim Like A Fish” through life, right?
Indeed, that we can “Swim Like a Fish” whatever waves come our way (smile).
When working on our self-leadership, we work on expanding our choices of possible. I know this sentence is kind of weird: our choices of possible. At the same time, I found this wording the best to describe what we are doing: we are creating more choices by building up competencies, strengths, and changes of perspectives.
Reading all these tips is wonderful. At the same time, I can’t help questioning how useful they can be when everything goes haywire. How do you use your self-leadership when things go wrong? Any experiences you could share?
Ok (pause).
It has never been easy for me to share personal things, either going wrong or going great (pause). It is interesting, because developing vulnerability and with-it authenticity goes with sharing personal elements, and maybe even more when they go wrong. Both are strengths of self-leadership, and the acceleration I can feel in my heart just now is telling me, I still have work to do on these (laugh).
Are you saying the coach is not the master yet?
Master? (laugh) Masters still learn and practice every day. Growth mindset baby. This incredible capability to remain curious and to seek effort and ongoing learning has its place within the scope of self-leadership. A big place (smile).
Are you evading my question?
Nope. Just thinking. So many situations are popping up in my mind right now. Which one to choose (laugh)?
I guess, I use self-leadership throughout my life to remain strong, but also to enjoy and get more out of life, and to learn every single day. Curiosity and learning are real drivers for me.
Now, when it comes to self-leadership, sometimes it’s not even about things going wrong, it’s about using the skill proactively, to avoid things going wrong.
For instance, I am not that good at driving in winter. At the same time, I am committed that this will never create any limitations. When I take my car in tough conditions, I apply with determination the tips from 3 Forgotten Facts About Self-Confidence. I direct my intention and my focus on being extremely good at driving. I use my words to condition my brain by saying things the way I want them to happen (one of my top 5 tips). Here, my capacity for self-leadership helps me to be extremely alert and aware, especially aware of my actions and what is happening around me. I am using self-leadership proactively by being extremely in the moment, and at the same time keeping a focus on my objective, which is arriving safely at my destination.
What is the difference then when things go wrong?
When things go wrong it is more about learning and keeping the lead, or taking back that lead.
It was the end of the day, and I had just hung the phone down. At the other end, it was my boss. I felt my hands shaking. I heard my voice in my head trembling. My heart was racing, somewhere right up in my throat. Emotions were piling up inside, tearing me in multiple directions. I could not make any sense of that last conversation. Except that it was all wrong.
So, I did what I regularly invited my clients to do. I took a paper. I took a pen. I draw and write every single thought passing through my mind at that moment. And I draw myself hanging from a tree (pause).
Without some self-leadership, and with it a sense of who I was, my worth, as well as tools to help me, I could have gotten deeply scared. Instead, I had a revealing moment. The drawing was a huge slap on my face. I added two sentences – “This has gone too far” – “Whatever I do, they will make a rope out of it to hang me”. I was angry at myself for doing this exercise only now, but I knew better. I knew, that if I was doing this now, it was because I did not have the right resources – and I mean by that, competencies and strength – to do it before.
Self-leadership has taught me patience and care for myself. It has also taught me that each emotion we experience has a message for us. So, I paused, thanked myself for this moment of reflection, and then went for a walk to get some oxygen in my body and brain.
Just there, in these last 15 minutes, I had worked through each of the five disciplines I am using when coaching people in self-leadership – Body and Mind – Emotions and Behaviours – Identity and Behaviours – Focus and Intention – Us and our System(s).
Back from the walk, my next step was to explore that situation through three lenses – stability – clarity – and actions – so that I could take back a sense of lead.
Stability, clarity, and actions. Tell us more.
Stability.
There are two sides to it. First, going back to the knowledge of who I am, my worth, and the value I can bring. When things go haywire, we can lose sight of that. Second, stability is also about creating movements to keep in balance with our system. Here as well, when things go haywire, we may start to let the flow carry us, rather than swimming with it. This is passive. To get back a sense of lead, we have to move to an active stance. This leads to our next lens.
Clarity.
Clarity around – where I want to go – what I want to see on the horizon – what matters to me – where are my boundaries – what is happening within my environment – what are the dynamics helping me move in the right direction – and so on. I usually do this by taking a piece of paper, drawing myself in the middle, and then writing up bubbles around me to answer each question.
This done, we can move to our third lens.
Actions.
What actions am I going to take to influence the situation? So that I can go back feeling I have the lead over the direction the system is going towards.
Gosh. This sounds so easy listening to you. Isn’t it?
(Laugh) It is and it is not. It depends on the situation. But it is always easier and easier because you build up the mental muscle. Remember, Swim Like a Fish, the swim 65. Your brain is like a high-level athlete, it needs regular training to perform. It’s easy to get lost in the run, going and going and going. It is easy to forget to regularly pause, either on a bench, or going up a balcony somewhere. On the bench, you step aside and look at things passing by. On the balcony, you step up to look at the scenery, the big picture. When you do that, you have three questions to help you – Where is this going? – Is that where I want to go (and here you include in your perspective family, loved ones, etc)? – and last, Is there something to change?
I see, like a monitoring mechanism, a routine checklist somewhere.
Exactly (smile).
If you were to choose one word, or one sentence, to conclude, what would you like to say to our readers?
Pause. Regularly pause. Enjoy the view, and the journey travelled so far. Keep curious for the journey to come. And if you need help, go buy my book. You are going to love it (smile).
There are many more tips and changes of perspectives you will work on when developing your self-leadership with Florence. When you’re ready to explore fully how you could increase your self-leadership, reach out to her to get information on her next program starting date. There is always a cohort around the corner waiting for you to join that you can learn how to swim like a fish through your life.
