Written by: Anne Germain, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Wow what a title, it's like a minefield out there in the world of business and the word stress is just the extra hand grenade being thrown in for good measure. We’ve all said it at sometime or another… “I’m stressed!”, “I can’t cope with anymore!”, “Can’t someone else do some of this?”, “Am I the only one around doing any work?”
The problem is when this starts to happen constantly, and then you follow those sentences with the follow up of… “I can’t let them see I’m struggling”, “I’m the only one they trust to do the job”, “Maybe I’ll be appreciated/recognised for promotion/pay rise if I do this”, “I have to do this I can’t afford to lose my job”, “It was only a family thing I’m missing”, “I’ll make it up to them when I get home”.
Recognise any of the above in either your staff or even in yourself? Well, if not well done, but if you do you may find you already have some serious burn out stress issues building within yourself or your team. We all do it at some time, it’s true, we go the extra mile for the ‘job’: it’s a big contract, it’s the number one client and needs all hands-on deck. But what happens when you are the only hands-on the deck? Or it's every week, week after week? The biggest one being when you are the boss and you’re the only one who can deal with the presentation that needs to go out, the figures need to be finished for the project submission.
In an ideal world no business or employee,e would ever suffer from the effects of stress. Sadly, we don’t function in an ideal world and the recent pandemic has shown us exactly how fragile this world is. Our problem on this earth is basic, to be honest; humans, that’s the whole problem, we are born with an inbuilt ‘I must achieve’ button. It may be a button to achieve in business, as a parent, as a child, as a friend, pianist, runner, footballer, teacher, gardener; literally anything can be the driving force behind the human desire to succeed or please others.
If we’re truthful we encourage this from an early age in our children, how simple does this sentence sound “let's see if you can finish before your brother?”, “it will make me really happy if you just do this one thing for me”, innocent things that, not only, parents would say and not think twice; but that sentence is already instilling the desire to compete, to win, placing stress on the human emotions. Competition isn’t a bad thing when it’s in a controlled environment it could become a problem if it’s used in a negative way to control another’s actions.
As prehistoric humans we needed that drive to succeed except it was more a desire to survive. We have transposed that desire to survive in a wild world into the business world. I don’t know about you but during my years in business I’ve seen a few letches, one or two not nice people, but not a single sabre-toothed tiger in sight within any office I’ve been located. But it didn’t stop me have the feeling of having to fight to be recognised, to survive in a hostile environment to be better than my colleague, work harder, be seen to give that little bit more. In all that time of working I didn’t realise I was building myself a heap of trouble with stress that would appear years later, when I least expected it because I was in a job I loved and doing something I felt was worthwhile. Its only now I’m away from business like that completely, and I’m able to review the patterns, I’m able to see the trap I fell into, and many others have fallen, or will fall, into over the coming months and years if we don’t prepare ourselves to look out for the signs.
The silly thing is I was able to notice it in others. I could see when they were stretching way beyond what was really an acceptable norm for working practices; I could see the subtle changes in their actions, their words, even in their work output. Why didn’t I see it in my own? Here I have to say, welcome to the world of lower and middle management. We are given the tools, if we’re lucky, to help our staff, how to manage them, how to spot when they’re struggling but we aren’t given the tools to notice things within ourselves.
I didn’t notice that I was starting to put work before everything else I was doing, I’d grown up in a house with a family where work was our focus, we needed to achieve, to prove we were good at what we did. It comes back to when we were little and we heard the normal words most children hear growing up “you can do it if you just try harder”, “you’ll get a reward if you do better than X”, “if you can’t do that you’re just being stupid”. I’m not saying my parents weren’t good. They were as loving and as caring as you can get, but they were brought up with the same words themselves. We cannot alter the past, but we can become aware for the future and start to look for the signs of stress and burnout in ourselves and in our staff.
There are so many different things we can put into place now to prevent these things happening, but we must acknowledge they do happen and be prepared to spot them and stop them.
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So as a boss how are you going to notice them? Well, the first thing I’d suggest is put things in place to fix them, then you’ll notice them improving. As humans we are very adept at hiding our weaknesses, or what we perceive to be our weaknesses, from those who have authority over us OK, I know you’re going to tell me you don’t have a budget to write any additional away days or time off in training for stress levels and how to manage them. Good, because I’m not going to suggest you do that, what I’m going to suggest is going to maybe cost you an hour of your time? So, for some of you it maybe £50 for others £5000 depends how much you value your time.
One of the first things that you can introduce into the day, which will start to reduce the level of stress, is walking! I don’t mean walking out around the carpark or even the street, I mean go and walk around the offices, shopfloor, factory floor. See people, speak to people, you know they’re really going to notice you and after a while you’ll find they will start opening up to you when you speak to them; even better if you can remember their name. This is something that is really old fashioned in many ways, but it does carry a lot of de-stress weight.
Get to know who your team are, big or small. If they know you as the big unapproachable boss they’ll never open up, but if you remember that they did a great job in getting that job turned round, that contract top and tailed, then mentioning it will go a long way to reducing their feeling of being a mushroom. Not heard the saying? Well, it refers to an employee being like a mushroom, kept in the dark and covered in s..t. get the picture?
So, you tell me you are already well known to your team and they know your door is always open to them if they have a problem! That maybe the case, but from my personal experience I can say hand on heart I was told the same thing but the last thing I would have done is gone to my line manager to tell them I was suffering stress as a result of the way in which they were treating me, as both a person and my ability to run my department and implement changes in a proactive and professional way, when every change I implemented they challenged publicly undermining my whole role. Are you seeing what I mean? We think we are ‘in tune’ with our lower managers and middle managers and we sadly are often as far away as China is to me right this moment (I’m in Spain today) than to actually knowing what our lower and middle managers are thinking and actually feeling out there. They don’t want us to know that they’re maybe struggling with personal issues, they have health issues, maybe they need time off for appointments to take a family member to hospital; but they know the proposal needs to be done and completed before Friday and they’ve only just been told. They don’t want to appear that they’re shirking their responsibility, especially as they’ve only been back from holiday/sick-leave for a couple of weeks.
I know this isn’t your fault, it isn’t anyone’s fault. It certainly isn’t their fault. It’s life in general and we have to learn to adapt to it. Yes, we already have flexible working in place in many areas of our businesses. We already give them compassionate leave when they need it for close family bereavements; and yes, wonderful of us to give ourselves a pat on the back, but in reality we have often, along our journey to get to the top forgotten what its actually like on the lower to middle rungs of the ladder. Also, were our family and domestic situations quiet so broken and complicated as they are now? I know mine wasn’t and I was juggling medical treatments, working full time and studying for a degree while running a home and having a second job. Looking at some of my colleagues now juggling disjointed families, distance of travel, mental health issues, it makes me think I had an easy life back then…
Something I used to hear a lot in the 1980’s ‘People managers need to learn to be managers’, but in all honesty, to do that they also need to learn to be a leader first and foremost. To become a leader isn’t something everyone will be able to do. Some managers will never be a leader. They are brilliant managers of objects and projects but not great people managers. For that you need to have a leader in a management role. So, the next objective after getting you walking around is to see if you have managers or leader managers in place. Also, are you a manager or a leader manager for your business?
In truth, I expect you’re a born leader who has a natural ability as a manager running alongside, providing you the right balance to be an inspirational entrepreneur. On the pathway you’ve talked a good talk and walked a good walk, you have brought people along with you, you have opened doors for yourself that others have happily followed through. That’s the evidence of a leader, not just a manager. The leader knows when to step aside and allow someone with the skill and expertise in something they don’t have go first. Ensuring those who follow through the door are also assisted to learn and reach and be the best they can be.
In any business today sadly, we don’t give the time, or have the time, to allow some of our blossoming talent to grow in a more holistic way. We place demands upon them before their emotional intelligence has developed sufficiently to deal with the burden of stress which comes within any job. We expect them to just ‘do it’ and not risk the burn out that can come with ‘just doing it’. I’m not only talking about the big multinational businesses, but also the little one-man bands who are doing their best to just get their business launched or just surviving hand to mouth as they fight one pile of official paper after another. The whole thing about working for yourself is less stressful than working for someone else is a complete lie. If you feel different, I respect that, but in my personal experience working for yourself brings a totally new type of stress to working for someone else, and there isn’t anywhere or anyone else to pass it on to. It stops and stays with you.
So, you ask how you can spot the beginnings of stress in either yourself or your co-workers. Stress is a sneaky little so and so! First off, you can totally not notice or even actually dismiss the first signs because they can be mixed in with a multitude of other symptoms and signs of everyday issues or even major health conditions.
I’ll write a few of the early signs that we, as I say, often dismiss as being totally unrelated to stress. This isn’t obviously an exhaustive list but gives you an idea.
Unexplained upset tummy, daydreaming, listening but not hearing, absentmindedness, odd aches and pains, sleep patterns change, feeling a bit down, emotional, feeling you must get it done, working through lunch, working late, itchy skin, shallow breathing.
Some of the next signs are showing things are beginning to progress to a problem level.
Mood swings, anxiety, palpitations, sweats, physical shaking, loss of productivity, sickness, headache, skin problems, regular nightly disturbed sleep pattern, loss of interest in family, loss of interest in hobbies or activities.
By the time that second section of symptoms has been reached it’s likely that someone has been under stress for a prolonged period. This is the time that maybe you’ll start noticing someone isn’t working to their best as normal, or maybe if its yourself you’ll still be trying to ignore the real culprit behind symptoms that are plaguing you. Why? Because there may not be anyone else to pass the workload to. When it becomes beyond manageable, you’re going to find some easy things become suddenly difficult situations to deal with. Something as simple as opening your emails can give you nausea, make you physically shake, make you cry, you will delay and procrastinate on opening any computer or envelope if you work from home, even the front door. When you have reached this level and haven’t sought out medical help you need to as a matter of urgency. If this is one of your team members’ they need help not a telling off for a late report.
How do you not just spot this, but more importantly, stop this happening? First, the aim is to stop it ever beginning naturally, but this is real life as they say and its not always going to be possible to shelter everyone from the day-to-day stresses of life and work. We are no longer cave men and women, but we still have the built-in reaction to stress of fight or flight, which produces adrenalin. It’s the adrenalin which used to give us the speed to run away from that sabre-toothed tiger. It’s difficult to see an email in the same light, but it can cause the same reactions in our bodies. We cannot turn off this chemical reaction so we need to learn to adapt ourselves, our workplaces, to minimise the damage it can do to our functioning.
Some of the simple things which you need to be aware of in spotting this beastie called stress can take time to notice, because we work and live busy lives. This is why I say its necessary to be visible and known within your business. That way you will know your team, but also you need to know and be aware of yourself and your own eccentricities (admit it, we all have them). You need to be able to notice the person who is normally on time being late; the person who is normally impeccably dressed, dressed as if they don’t care; the one who always wears their makeup to work coming in with no makeup or their hair scruffy; a desk that is normally tidy, messy, papers piled high; emails which are normally opened promptly and replied to remain unopened and unanswered; someone who is normally chatty and happy becoming quiet and sometimes sullen. Learn to spot these signs and you’ll hopefully be able to spot someone who is suffering excessive stress whether at work or home.
Now you’ve noticed someone or maybe you’re stressed, what are you going to do? There’s no money in the company budget for expensive companies to come in and do an analysis and find out where the problem is routed. Some simple things that you can do cost nothing more than a little time, some more impactive things you can do will cost a little more money, but well worth the investment when you have the budgeting facilities. There are some great companies out there doing just that and helping individuals make the most of themselves and their businesses.
Right, you may be wondering what are the quick and simple solutions I’m going to recommend for you? It might make you laugh but just that, laughter. Well, that and breathing properly and not in the upper chest only. Music. The other bits are basic, and I’ll cover them as well so don’t worry they won’t cost money just a little time working things out.
Laughter is one of our best stress relievers. I mean a real laugh, not just a half-hearted haha, but a proper belly laugh that can leave you gasping for breath. Many of us find different things funny, something I find funny you might find deathly embarrassing and vice versa. We also need to find something funny which isn’t offensive to anyone, we do have to be considerate in all things we do.
OK, so something funny is breathing. Really, I promise you it can be very funny, especially when you’re trying to alter the way in which you normally breath. The faces we pull of total concentration can be incredibly funny to watch, whether it’s your face or the face of someone sitting opposite you. The other thing that is funny is the incredible looks you’ll get when you tell your teams you’re going to introduce breathing into the day. I promise you they will think you’ve lost your one remaining marble.
With everyone sitting at their desk or workspace – you included – set a countdown for 60 seconds and counting on your in breath, see how many breaths everyone takes. You’ll find a big variation probably in the number of breaths in those 60 seconds. What number of breaths should you be looking at for a normal healthy resting adult? The range can be between 12 to 20 breaths a minute to be considered normal, according to healthline.com, a respected and reliable online magazine. Your breathing is controlled by the brain which reacts to the chemical cortisol, the primary stress hormone. If you have been running on adrenaline because of stress you are going to have high cortisol levels, because the adrenal gland releases cortisol, it can become a vicious circle. Stress causes the adrenaline and the adrenaline releases cortisol, which raises the stress symptoms.
By now you’re going to be shouting, stop the world I want to get off! But here are the reasons behind the breathing exercise that we did. Now you are automatically more aware of your breathing, you’ll be able to notice if you’re using just the top part of your lungs or the whole of your lungs which is what we should be doing. Now, with everyone sitting, each of you put a hand on the top of the chest area and a hand on the lower abdomen and take a deep breath. Who just moves the hand on the upper chest area and pushes out the hand on the lower abdomen? The prize goes to the person who pushes the lower hand out the furthest and pulls it back in the furthest, without allowing their shoulders to raise. But take care, your brains haven’t had so much oxygen in a long time, dizziness can happen and I don’t want any of you falling over!
If you’re not laughing at each other by now I’d be surprised, and the one thing that this has done is released some of the tension and stress in your body. Not everyone is going to want to take part. OK, we need to embrace others comfort zones, so it’s going to be a case of trial and error to find the things that work for each person.
How can you prevent this stress and tension building in todays’ workplace? I’m not going to pretend it’s as easy as just taking a deep breathing course! Oh if it were we’d see so much less mental health issues around the world! There needs to be more than one focus to bring together all the mindful options available and pick the ones that work best for you, or your team. I know if I asked my husband to sit and do deep breathing, he’d look at me as if I’d lost the few marbles I have left. When he’s stressed, he walks, when younger he ran but the years caught up with his knees. It doesn’t mean he can’t deal with stress in the workplace by walking, he’s a fair-weather walker now, doesn’t like the wind and the rain but he still walks most days.
There are some simple things we can introduce into the workplace that won’t be a quick fix but are free and will go a long way to alleviating some of the stress triggers that we can all have.
Emails, do we really need to copy in the cleaner to cover our backs? How many people are receiving emails that really are of no benefit for them, they are just overloading their inbox and making them feel stressed. I know it’s the ‘cover my back’ mentality and it’s been around for a long time, mainly because we still seem to live and work in a blame society. If I copy in ‘X’ and it all goes wrong, I can say ‘well X knew all about it so it’s not my fault!’. Let’s stop looking to blame someone else and stand up and accept our own responsibilities and actions. So, we make a mistake. It’s not the end of the world in most businesses. Managers, stop looking to have someone to blame and use as the fall guy or girl.
Memos: these used to drive me mad! I think the worst number of memos I got in one day was over 40 to read. Many were one liners which could have been covered in a quick face to face, telephone call or conference video call. Everyone could have reached an agreement in two minutes that they all understood and there wouldn’t have been a need for another 160 memos being sent back with ‘Noted’ written on or flagged as seen.
We spend our lives reading memos and emails and attending meetings for the sake of meetings. They cause stress… terrible, physical stress. Cold sweats, nausea, shaking, stomach disorders, sleeplessness at the thought of facing the inbox, the memos, or meetings the next morning. Think twice before sending the ‘quick email’. Maybe phone instead, or if in the same building have a coffee together and talk out the email. You’ll resolve things much quicker and with half the stress involved. If you don’t need the whole team in a meeting why invite them all? Just to sit there wishing they were anywhere else? because they’re working to deadlines as well.
Half Stories, the one where you get given a task but only half the information to accomplish that task. Stress because you’ve been given a time scale, someone is chasing your tail to get the project completed and you don’t have the figures, or product details, or some other important basic piece of information needed. Before passing the task, make sure the information is complete. Setup to fail, yes, it still happens in some locations. Tasks are given out that have no hope of being completed in the time scale, within the budget or without the correct information or any information at all.
Sadly, even in this day and age, some managers still believe the best way to ‘remove’ an unwanted member of staff, or someone deemed to be unproductive, is make them appear to underperform, by giving them work which is unrealistic. Then they feel they can manage them out under the company performance policy. This alone by its actions will be proven to be automatically unfair dismissal, if it was proven in an employment tribunal, and rightly so. So, who gets the stress in that situation? Everyone is involved. The manager, the HR advisor, and the employee. Become a better manager and deal with the inefficiency properly. Reduce the stress to all involved. Have an open and honest conversation with the person. Yes, it’s going to be tough to start, but boy is it going to have a better outcome for everyone.
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Away from the heavy hand of raising the stress issues, to some quick-fix solutions.
No lunches taken at the desk. Get up and walk around for even 2 to 3 minutes minimum every morning and afternoon.
Joint coffee break. Set 10 or 15 minutes aside just to chill and chat about work or social, it doesn’t matter. You can talk about the office pet starling that sits on the window ledge if you like! Anything that takes your brain away from the task in hand for 15 minutes.
Encourage individuals to go out for a walk. Obviously, you can’t force them out the door but it’s better that they go and get a few moments of outside air, once a day. So why not at lunchtime? You can always schedule someone to cover the phones and maybe they can go a little later.
Maybe have a radio playing background music. Again, it’s another problem of people having different tastes in music, but some bland background music isn’t going to distract if it’s at an ambient level. Employ the services of a professional business and personal coach for members of staff who are struggling. These individuals can have amazing results in assisting others to deal with their overwhelming feelings of stress.
Employ the services of a meditation mentor. They can also help an individual who is going through particularly difficult times of stress. It’s not too expensive and can have wonderful effects on someone going through a time of reactionary depression or stress.
Remember we should be working to live, not living to work. Let us be the ones to help get the balance right and the stresses in business will lift. It will never be gone completely. We’re not living in that type of world any longer.
Anne Germain, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Anne Germain, leading from the front since being a small child in an unconventional way; in 1992, she started working within the Metropolitan Police as a member of Civil Staff, successfully achieving promotions from Administrative Officer up to Higher Executive Officer, Chartered Fellow of the CIPD, and Cert.Ed, Dip.H, M.A.E.P.E; Leaving on promotion to the Home Office as a Human Resource Business Partner in 2005.
In 2006, she opened her own consultancy bringing together her business experience, coaching, mentoring, holistic skills, and mediumship abilities. Soon she was touring initially around the UK providing her very down-to-earth and simple take on what may believe to be ‘strange’ at best, if not more than a little odd.
Her travels included Europe with Portugal and her first TV show, followed by Spain her second TV show, followed by sold-out theatre tours, invitations to speak at some of Spain’s most prestigious holistic congresses and charity events; 2011 saw the publication of her first book.
Anyone attending the theatre tour or congresses were introduced Annes’ abilities of being an excellent orator, with a special way of making anyone attending and listening to her as if she was talking only to them; with expansion into training courses for developing abilities to link with their latent psychic skills something she is passionate about.
Anne is now living in Spain, where the Anne Germain Institute opened its doors in 2019, she still fits in touring, but even further afield adding the USA, with negotiations for several south American county visits for 2022 & 2023.
In Annes own words, “not bad for a below average schoolgirl written off by her teachers as only expected to marry at 16 and produce a hoard of children.”
Annes’ Mission: “Creating an environment of inclusion for those living outside the box."
