Written by: Marlena O´Donnell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Even though circumstances seem to create our limitations, it's a fact that we create them ourselves. We base what is possible for us to achieve on our beliefs, understanding of who we are, past experiences, and the real or perceived judgment of other people. But there is no need to live within the boundaries of self-imposed limitations — we all have the power to change beliefs that are not serving us well and perceive our life not in terms of barriers to success but in terms of success within our reach.
Ignore the inner voice of doubt.
Our thoughts are expressed through an internal narrative. Sometimes the voice in our head tells us things about ourselves that are harsh and painful such as:
You’re not good enough;
You failed in the past so that you will fail again;
You are not smart;
You are not capable;
You haven’t got what it takes to succeed and so on.
It is easy to believe that this voice knows things about us — after all, it’s a voice that has been with us all our life. But let me tell you a little secret. This voice does not know what you are capable of. It cannot predict the future. It cannot foretell your failure or success. If it could predict the future, surely, you would be a millionaire by now as you would know the winning lottery numbers, right?
If you take time to listen to the inner voice in your head, you will realize that although it is a useful source of factual information, it also gives us a lot of useless and even contradicting information that is not helpful or true.
So next time the voice of doubt tells you that you are not capable of doing something, treat it as an innocent child who doesn’t know about your power to succeed and carry on pursuing your dreams.
Don’t listen to other people’s judgment.
As well as believing that our thoughts accurately assess our ability to succeed in life, we also believe that we know what other people are thinking about us. Our thoughts are not only unable to predict the future, and we do not know what we are capable of, but our thoughts can also not accurately predict other people’s thoughts and beliefs. It’s impossible.
Likewise, other people's opinion of you, or what you perceive it to be, no matter how well-meaning it may be, is based on their unique set of beliefs, experience, and understanding of the world. Others can only see you through their own lens. They don’t know what barriers you are capable of breaking down to achieve what you want.
I was born with a physical disability in a communist country where disabled people were supposed to live in institutions or be looked after by their families. I defied these expectations.
I studied, moved abroad, met the love of my life, traveled the world, had a successful career for many years, and now run my own business. I would not have this adventurous and beautiful life if I lived with the constraints of other people’s judgment about what I can achieve.
If you live your life through other people’s expectations, you will never live out dreams that are your own. Take a leap of faith and do what your heart, not other people, tell you to do.
Take control of your life.
You may think that circumstances determine your actions. You may think that you can only act within the parameters of your upbringing, class, education, intelligence, gender, and profession. You may think that life happens to you, not for you, and you are powerless.
You may not be able to change the circumstances, but you can choose how you react to them and what actions you take as a result. Take the pandemic as an example. It is a worldwide phenomenon affecting everyone. But the pandemic does not elicit a uniform reaction. Some of us take it in our stride and make the most of what we still can do within the social restrictions imposed on us. Some of us are in denial and fight against the restrictions. Some of us are not coping well and are anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and sad. If each of us reacts to the same event differently, the event itself cannot be responsible for our reactions. We can choose the attitude we adopt and what actions we take as a result.
You may not be in control of the circumstances, but you are always in control of your actions. You can choose to be a victim of life or choose to defy the circumstances and live your life undeterred by the obstacles.
Don’t wait to change your life.
Focus on what you want and not on the various barriers that are in the way. Most of them are barriers created in your mind based on beliefs you have about your ability to succeed, taking onboard real or perceived judgment of others, and your reaction to circumstances in your life. You have the power to bring these barriers down. Don’t wait. Choose freedom and not constraints.
Marlena O’Donnell, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine
Marlena O’Donnell is a certified life coach, mentor, and motivational speaker specializing in freeing her clients from beliefs that are not serving them well. Marlena has successfully helped many people gain an unwavering belief in themselves, confidence, motivation, and courage to go after what they want in life through individual and group coaching, mentoring, and workshops. Marlena has personal experience of overcoming significant challenges in life and succeeding against all odds. This, combined with her thorough understanding of both business matters and personal issues, puts her in a unique position to help her clients successfully navigate their way through difficulties they face in all areas of life and achieve “the unachievable.” As a motivational speaker, Marlena inspires others to make powerful and lasting changes in their life. She has been a keynote speaker at business events, online conferences, and summits.
