Written by: Heidi Dinning, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
So often, we get lost in the need to have a way to explain our status to others or fit something into a box in our minds so that it makes sense. We spend our energy wondering about the status of our relationship situation…that is…are we in a relationship? Are we in a situationship? What if we just focus on the human connection brewing and nurture that, rather than using energy trying to define it with a label?
Focusing on the connection is an important starting point if you’re embarking on a new relationship, especially after an intense break-up or divorce. Learning to spend time focusing on nurturing the actual connection, rather than trying to solve the problem in our mind of what it is, or what it could be, we can be more present in the moment, enjoy the experience as the situation unfolds and build authentic connection right from the start. Here are three helpful tips to focus on nurturing the connection instead of the label.
Use Open and Honest Communication: Discussing your present state of mind, feelings, desires and expectations openly without judgement will foster connection through transparency. In turn, listen with a curiosity and an open mind. This will build authentic connection based on understanding and empathy.
Create Shared Experiences: Purposeful engagement in activities that both of you enjoy will create memorable moments together. By focusing on shared experiences, you can strengthen your bond and foster a deeper connection that you feel, rather than one that you define by words and labels.
Establish Emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy involves allowing yourself and the other person to feel safe to be vulnerable, express feelings without judgement and understand needs, desires and sensitivities. By cultivating emotional intimacy, you can create a deeper connection and understanding between the two of you.
Focusing on the connection between you, rather that trying to label what is happening, will enhance the quality of your enjoyment and experience in the situation as it grows, ultimately deepening your connection, building the foundation of a lasting relationship.
Heidi Dinning, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Heidi is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Recovery Coach and a Family & Interpersonal Communications Expert supporting individuals and families all over Canada, the US and some beyond the borders through separation and divorce. Having a lifetime of lived experience with divorce, both from a child’s perspective when her parents divorced, and her own divorce ten years ago, Heidi’s experience created a fire within her to to create a way to reduce the stigma around divorce, and support others walking that bewildering, confusing and difficult path to a better life. Using her natural intuitions, communications expertise and emotional intelligence, Heidi has created a practice that truly meets people where they are at and supports them to move forward in healthy, clear and positive ways for themselves and their family. Heidi also has authored an e-book on talking to your kids about divorce, ultimately setting the tone for the family to thrive through divorce not merely survive.
