Written by: Jennifer Wren Tolo, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In the fast-paced world of corporate careers, women often find themselves caught in a whirlwind of responsibilities, striving to excel both at work and in their personal lives. The constant juggle between professional commitments and personal responsibilities can leave them feeling drained, exhausted, and perpetually short on time.
How often do you find yourself saying, “I don’t have time” or “I wish I had time for __.”.
But, we so often don’t realize that we are choosing to spend our time running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to meet the perceived demands of other people or trying to please other people while putting pressure on ourselves to not only do, but do it well and do it right.
I am exhausted just saying all that!
There is a reason behind physical and emotional exhaustion or fatigue among corporate women and supermoms. Once you have the awareness, that this article intends to create, you can practice these realistic and simple strategies to help boost your energy levels and regain control over your time.
The exhaustion epidemic
One of the number one complaints I hear from my clients, my students, and even my friends is… “I am exhausted!”
There are different kinds of exhaustion.
The “I don’t get enough sleep” exhaustion
The emotional exhaustion from worry and stress
The physical exhaustion of a jam-packed, physically and mentally draining day or lifestyle.
All of these become stressors in your lives and create problems for you such as lack of focus, forgetfulness, emotional dysregulation, lack of motivation, and even depression and anxiety.
The challenging thing for super moms and superwomen is… You must keep going, keep pushing, and keep showing up for your kids, your work, and all the people who need you. This becomes not only time-consuming but exhausting, eventually impacting your health and well-being.
This constant pressure to do more, be more, and have more impacts your life as it becomes harder and harder to manage it all. You start forgetting things, have trouble concentrating, and have trouble sleeping.
Imagine a juggler with multiple balls in the air. With practice, they can juggle many balls, but eventually… they start to drop them especially when more balls get added to the mix.
I have experienced this as a supermom, a superwoman trying to do it all. Eventually, I started to drop balls.
I remember a time when I was running on fumes and coffee, (that no longer perked me up). I recall begrudgingly waking up to the alarm after only 5 hours of sleep, then rushing to get my kids dressed and fed a healthy meal before whisking them off to three different schools… baby in tow.
It was a mad scramble, getting kids dressed and fed, lunches and snacks packed and baby breastfed in the midst of the chaos. I threw on workout clothes and ate the remains of my kids' meals for breakfast. After dropping the kids off, I rush up to my wellness center above the preschool to teach my fitness class, rolling in hot as usual.
But… I had a sinking feeling hit my gut like a boulder. I remembered… I forgot the sleeping baby in the car. In my juggling act, I dropped a ball!
Have you ever been so exhausted that you started to forget things… important things?
Whether you are a corporate woman, stay-at-home mother, or momepreneur, as a high achiever, you want to show up in your life, energized and focused to do your job well. What you may not realize is that the pressure you put on yourself to please others, to meet others' perceived expectations, or to, not only get everything done but do it “right” and even do it perfectly creates more pressure and stress only adding to the exhaustion. It is an energy drain and a time suck as we miss something, forget something or redo something in our frenzy of trying to manage everything on our plate.
How often do you take time to replenish your energy with self-care and things that bring you joy?
I am guessing, not nearly as often as you know you need to.
Why is that? There are several reasons why:
1. Demanding Workload: The relentless demands of modern corporate life, from tight deadlines to heavy workloads, can leave corporate women feeling overwhelmed. The pressure to constantly prove themselves in a competitive environment can lead to burnout, leaving them physically and mentally exhausted. This is true for a mom’s life as well.
2. Unbalanced Priorities: Striking a balance between career and personal life often seems like an unattainable goal. Corporate women might find themselves neglecting self-care and leisure activities, contributing to emotional fatigue and a sense of emptiness. They might have trouble saying “no” or setting healthy boundaries so they can say “yes” to the things that are important to them.
3. Emotional Labor: Many women in leadership roles or client-facing positions engage in significant emotional labor. Constantly managing emotions, resolving conflicts, and projecting a confident image can take a toll, leading to emotional exhaustion. As a mom, add in the desire to make your family happy and the roller coaster ride of parenting and kids’ emotions!
4. Lack of Boundaries: The advent of technology has blurred the lines between work and personal life. Checking emails during off-hours or being constantly reachable can erode the much-needed boundaries for relaxation and rejuvenation. This is often referred to as toxic productivity.
Reclaiming your energy and time
One of the harsh, “wake up call” moments I experienced as a mompreneur in the midst of stress and overwhelm was when I was reading to my two younger kids before their nap, and I saw pixels on the pages, my words were hard to speak and my tongue and arm went numb.
I call this my 9-1-1 moment as my husband implored me to call 9-1-1 when he called to check in as he thought I was having a stroke.
My ridiculous response… “I don’t have time to call 9-1-1! Who will take care of the kids?”
It turned out it was an atypical migraine from… exhaustion and not prioritizing my health and well-being.
This was the turning point for me and where I learned how to reclaim my energy and prioritize my time so I could better show up and enjoy my life and my kids.
Here are 7 Key Strategies I learned to reclaim my energy and my time and take back my power over my own life
1. Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. Make time for activities that nourish your body and soul, whether it's regular exercise, meditation, reading, or spending quality time with loved ones. Taking care of yourself replenishes your energy reserves without guilt.
2. Learn to Say No: Setting boundaries is a powerful way to protect your time and energy. Politely decline tasks or commitments that overwhelm you or don't align with your priorities. Focus on tasks that truly matter to you.
3. Delegate and Collaborate: You don't have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks at work and enlist help at home. Building a support network, both professionally and personally, can free up valuable time and reduce stress.
4. Time Management: Embrace effective time management techniques. Break tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, prioritize them and eliminate distractions. Limit the number of “to do’s” on your plate to 3-5 things each day, and set aside enough time to get them done.
5. Unplug Regularly: Dedicate specific times to disconnect from work-related devices or distractors. Use this time to engage in activities that recharge you, whether it's pursuing a hobby, spending time outdoors, or simply relaxing. Give yourself permission to pause, and reset, even if this means closing your eyes and doing nothing.
6. Practice Letting Go, (even a little): As high-achieving, purpose-driven women, we often have high expectations of ourselves and try hard to get “it” right. When you practice letting go a little more, of the need to control, of the high expectations, of pleasing others, or even the goal of perfection, it is amazing how much energy and time you can begin to reclaim.
7. Seek Guidance: Connect with mentors or coaches who have successfully navigated the challenges of a busy life with multiple demands on time. Their guidance can offer invaluable insights, helping you manage your career, your goals, and the work-life balance you seek.
I created an eBook guide, Power of NO, to help women who are feeling exhausted, tired of running on a hamster wheel, and afraid of what will happen when they step off it. This guide will help you take the time to prioritize YOU and your time and energy.
No one is going to give you time.
You have to prioritize time… more importantly, prioritize yourself instead of prioritizing other people’s perception of you, their time, their needs, or trying to please them.
This guide will help you reconnect with you and what you need and want at the moment.
You can still be a superwoman, but you do not need to remain trapped in a cycle of exhaustion and time scarcity. By understanding the WHY behind your fatigue and implementing practical strategies to reclaim your energy and time, you can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, it's not about doing more; it's about doing less, focusing on what truly matters, and prioritizing your well-being along the way.
You can do it! I did and I continue to utilize these strategies every day. Just take it one step at a time. If you are struggling to get out of the overwhelmed mindset of “I can’t” or “i don’t know where to start!”, I have a free guide to help you flip the script to positivity and possibilities. The first step may be here, grabbing my Power of Three guide to help you open to possibilities of more in your life.
Get my Free, Power of Three Guide to Shifting your Mindset here.
If you are interested in learning more about Jennifer Wren Tolo’s programs, talks and workshops, book a Free Clarity Call with me here.
Jennifer Wren Tolo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jennifer Wren Tolo, RN, is a whole health educator, a leading transformation coach and mind, body, spirit connector for high achieving women and mothers who are so busy showing up for others that they "don't have time" to show up for themselves. She has coached women in cultivating calm and peace within themself by finding their inner strength and resilience so they can take back their power over their own health and happiness one thought, one action, one conscious choice, one moment at a time. Jennifer is a stress and resiliency educator and adjunct professor at Endicott College School of Nursing where she teaches "Holistic and Complementary Approaches to Health and Healing."
