Written by: Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You say you want to find love in your life. So, you create a dating profile on an app or various apps. You get a few matches and have some short-lived conversations in the chat that don’t lead to anything substantial. Or maybe you manage to have a decent conversation, but can’t seem to find a time to meet up. Or maybe you do meet the person on a date, just to find out they aren’t really what you thought. And you are back to square one.
Maybe this cycle repeats a few times, and then you feel frustrated and disappointed, and forget to even look at the dating app and stop searching altogether. You throw yourself into your work and days go by, which turn into weeks and then into months. Then one fine day you go to a dinner party hosted by one of your friends where everyone is practically coupled up. And finally, you get asked that dreaded question, “So what’s going on… are you dating anyone? You know you’re not getting any younger.” And you reply with your typical excuses like “I’m too busy with work”, “I’m not really looking for anyone right now”, “It’s tough because all the good ones are taken”, or any other excuse that you can come up with and soon start to believe yourself. Sound familiar?
When we start to feel discouraged in our search, we start to anticipate more disappointment which then affects the type of energy we emit or bring into a situation, and consequently, we draw in those exact unfortunate outcomes all over again. It begins a pattern that is easy to get caught up in. And as a result, without realizing it, we start to put less effort into finding our person and don’t even make it a real priority anymore. But our accumulated frustration makes it feel like we are really trying hard, but are we really?
So, let’s have a reality check. What are the signs that you are truly prioritizing finding love in your life right now if that’s what you “say” you truly want?
1. For starters, if you are using an online dating site to meet others, you are taking the time to make your profile intentional, clear and well presented. It should not look like something you slapped together quickly in 2 min that doesn’t really say much about you other than you can’t be bothered. For more details on revamping and strengthening your dating profile, check out my last article here.
2. You feel motivated and enthusiastic about being in a relationship. When we feel passionate about something in our lives, we start to move towards it, and consequently, create ways to make it happen because it is something we truly desire. If you notice you’re not exactly feeling this way or far from, remember your WHY behind wanting to be in a relationship. How could it enhance your life? What would it feel like to finally have someone to come home to? Or if you are someone who loves to travel, how would it finally feel to be able to travel with the person you love and not have to travel alone or constantly find a friend to come along with you? And when you finally start to feel the energy shift and the enthusiasm come back, you are there. Start your search with this kind of energy in place.
3. You are consistent in your efforts and remain open to someone coming into your life in unexpected ways. In the search for the one, we will be meeting a lot of people that aren’t the one. But it’s part of the process. Think of dating as a way to meet new people and learn about them. Enjoy the journey and have fun discovering yourself along the way, because in situations that both work and don’t work, we learn about ourselves better. No experience is a waste of time, and everything happens for a reason. Remain open to the “how” someone will arrive in your life because the Universe has its own plan for you, and to insist it only needs to be this way or that way will limit your possibilities on a great scale.
4. You schedule or block out time at least once a week to talk to or spend time with the person you are interested in knowing better. In the beginning, making time at least once a week is reasonable. But as the two of you start getting to know one another more, your time spent together, whether on phone or in person, will need to become more frequent, and allowing for that to happen is important. When something appears in your schedule, it means you are really starting to make it a priority because it matters. Building a connection takes time, and the more time and energy you allot to getting to know one another, the more the relationship will grow. Just like with anything else important in your life you are trying to build, a relationship needs to be nurtured.
5. And finally, if you are still feeling stuck but you truly want to make finding love a priority in your life, you will reach out to someone such as a coach to help you along the journey. When you have been going at it alone for some time, and nothing seems to be working, trying something you never tried before can help you along your path. Having a coach to guide in the process can help you see a pattern that needs to change which you may be unaware of. So, if you feel like you are going in circles or feel lost, working with a coach may be the answer. The choice is yours and depends on how important this really is for you in your life right now.
Final Words
If you notice yourself procrastinating to find the right person for you or just feeling low energy about it in general, take a look within to see what’s really going on. What is truly causing the resistance? It can be tough to not want to give up sometimes, but if this happens try to remember the perks of being in a relationship and how it could enhance both your life and the other person’s life in unimaginable ways. Be open to the process. And finally, if you are feeling stuck, but are motivated to make a change in your life now and truly want to prioritize finding love, I’m happy to help you as a relationship mindset transformation coach. Simply book a complimentary discovery call here to get started, and we will see if this is the right fit for you.
Want to learn more from Preeti? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or visit her website.
Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Preeti Mistry is a Jay Shetty Certified Coach who focuses on single, young professionals and entrepreneurs who want to be in a healthy, meaningful, and lasting relationship. Through her 1:1 coaching service, she helps them uncover and overcome their hidden inner resistance to finding love so that they feel empowered to put their best self forward and can dare to create the love life they desire.
Her chosen niche as a relationship mindset transformation coach was inspired by her own struggles in this area and by noticing that this was a common problem that plagued many she knew as well. After her own transformational journey of overcoming limiting beliefs and aligning better with her true authentic self, Preeti is on a mission to help and empower those that truly want to be in a relationship break out of a rut, and unleash their best self in love.
Preeti has had the opportunity and privilege of participating on a panel hosted by the American India Foundation SF as a relationship mindset transformation coach with the crew of the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. She has also appeared as a guest on various podcasts talking about topics related to mindset, dating, relationships, spirituality and manifestation. In addition, she is the founder of the Relationship Mindset club on Clubhouse which offers tremendous value and is continuing to grow. Preeti is also a general dentist, and loves to paint, travel, dance, and spend time in nature.
Preeti’s purpose and vision is to help create a world where we focus more on our possibilities instead of our impossibilities so that we are more in tune with creating a life that is aligned with our deepest desires and can experience the joy and fulfillment we are meant to in this life.
