Written by: John Kenny, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When you first meet someone, I am sure you have had a conversation with yourself and probably someone close to you, which will be something like ‘do they really like me?’ and ‘how do I know?’
There are signs that we notice, but others we can overlook. There are reasons why this may be the case, and one of them is that you are subconsciously ignoring the signs as you are not ready to connect yet. They may even be stopping themselves from just saying it as they don’t really know how to - are you brave enough to ask?
This brief list gives you an idea as to whether someone likes you or not with a few caveats because we also know that people know how to make you think that they are interested, only to use information against you or back off somewhere down the line because of their avoidant style.
Leaning Towards You and Maintaining Close Proximity
When someone likes you, they have a tendency to subconsciously lean towards you when you are together. It creates a physical closeness that shows they want to be closer to you, are drawn into your energy and are attracted to you.
If you find yourself moving away, it is a sign that you may not find them as attractive, and you feel your space is being invaded – you are not comfortable in their energy. This is an indicator that you shouldn’t ignore – it could be because you are subconsciously aware of something you need to back away from, or it could be your own avoidance mechanisms kicking in.
They Remember Your ‘Small Stuff’
If someone remembers what you have said, no matter if just in passing and comes back to it in the future, then it is likely they are interested. They have clearly taken notice of what you have said, and it is a priority for them to remember it.
Because of ‘selective filtering,’ your brain will allow space to recall things that are important to you. If your brain is telling you it is important, it is generally because you care about it – so the person is very likely to care about you.
Caveat time – there are those who remember things about you because they see it as important to come back to later in order to use it against you. This obviously doesn’t relate to the small things, so if it is the small things and not the personal stuff you have shared, then you can rest assured they are interested.
They Make an Effort to Converse
If someone wants to get to know you some more, they will instigate conversation to find out what you are interested in, what you like to do, where you have been, and whatever else they can think of to keep the conversation going. This is one of the most common behaviors you’ll see when someone likes you. They are looking for things in common to see how compatible you are.
This may not happen if someone is shy or struggles with self-worth and self-confidence, so don’t write them off if you like them. After a few meetings, they will open up and engage some more. If they don’t, then it is likely they are just not interested.
If they keep making conversations about you, your past, and the difficult experiences in your life, or talk a lot about their own difficulties – red flag waved, walk away.
They Show Curiosity
Curiosity is an interesting thing; if you are not a cat, of course!
When you become curious about something, you want to know more about it so you can understand the situation better. In a romantic context, this is amplified as your brain is searching to know more about why it has been triggered, and so it becomes wildly interested in the thing person that has triggered it.
It will keep sending questions out in order to satiate that curiosity. The person interested in you will do the same and once they meet your friends is likely to ask them about you too!
Note the caveat to this in the point above – be mindful of where their curiosity leads!
They Will Smile – A Lot
When someone is attracted to you, then they will make eye contact and smile. If you notice that they glance away and are still smiling, then they are definitely in a good space around you.
When you are around someone, you are attracted to, the rate of smiling increases. Not only that, the smile is bigger, broader, and longer. Watch out for the wrinkles around the eyes, the raising of the cheeks, and the light in their eyes, all signs that the smile is genuine.
Notice Their Energy Around You
Being around someone who likes you has a physical impact on their state.
It has the effect of making them nervous, and in this case, being nervous is a form of good stress. Adrenaline and other hormones will be released; your heart rate speeds up, pushing blood around your body, maybe causing blushing or even more perspiration. It is something people can’t help doing and will impact the energy they give off to you.
It should feel like they are excited to be around you, but it could also indicate that they want to get away from you. Keep an eye out for the difference when taking the other factors I have mentioned into account.
They Find the Time to See You and are Consistent
In fact, they don’t just find the time; they make the time!
This is a common indicator that they are interested and want to spend as much time with you as possible. The fact that they are consistent – turn up on time etc. is also a positive sign as it shows they are making an effort and really want to be there.
This is very apparent when you first start dating or if someone in your friend group or at work likes you too. Is there someone who will always want to be where you are? Finds ways to see you? Makes time to talk to you?
Be mindful of those who come on strong at the beginning, though, as they may have a type of avoidant attachment – wanting to be with someone, but when they get close, they become uncomfortable and back off. If they seem too keen at the start, this could be a red flag, f and you need to hold back a bit in case. You should be able to glean whether this is the case when you get round to talking about their past relationship experiences.
To Summarize
If you want to know if someone is interested in you and they don’t just come right out and say it, keep an eye out for the signs!
They may not exhibit all of them, but a couple of them is a sign of wanting to get to know you.
Remember that some people find it difficult to come forward, so if you like them, show them the signs instead. Or, just tell them.
I know it can be difficult to do this if you struggle with acceptance or fear of rejection and want to create a little more certainty about someone before you let your feelings show, but seeing the signs will help you to establish whether you are safe to reciprocate or not.
Do be mindful of the warning signs, too. Some people know what they want but won’t allow themselves to have it or have issues that mean they want you to be interested in them, just to get what they need.
Take the pressure off of you — go out, have fun, relax, be yourself and see where the world of relationships takes you, having the idea of the person that you want in your life with you at all times.
Be good to yourself,
John
John Kenny, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
John Kenny is The Relationship Guy - relationship coach, author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme, documentary maker, and speaker.
After living a life full of unsuccessful and toxic relationships, John has created Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC) to help successful singles who struggle with intimate relationships of their own.
He has been in the field of personal development since 2004 and has helped thousands of clients to live the relationships and life that they choose, rather than the one they always have or feel they have to or should!
John will not only help you to understand why you think, feel and do as you do, but also the intricacies of deeper human behavior.
