Written by Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified Systemic Coach and Online Trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues.
In my last article, I spoke about the importance of finding closure. I hope it worked out well for you, no matter the disruption you may have experienced last year. Before setting new goals, most of us need to take a moment to gather our bearings and reacquaint ourselves with our situation before moving in a new direction. This process requires calm, focus, patience, and an open mind so the brain can imagine new possibilities and create meaningful connections. After all, no new road, bridge, or network is built overnight.
Setting your goals is an act of empowerment that gives you a sense of purpose and allows you to grow, create, and evolve. It is a process you should treat with diligence and respect because it will likely influence your life in a major way. Sometimes, I meet clients who struggle with the idea of setting even one goal. They have never done it and have no idea where to begin or even what to wish for. Their existence becomes a matter of adding one structureless day to the next, floating in boredom or spiraling into chaos.
Some people, on the other hand, may be used to setting professional goals but are unable to transfer the process to their private lives or vice versa. Why do you think that is? One reason could be that in our professional environment, we are used to setting, above all, quantitative goals, e.g., for sales and income, while in our private lives, qualitative aspects such as well-being and happiness are dominant. Both originate in different parts of our brain. However, both are connected, and numeric goals must be paired with “soft” goals that stem from emotional intelligence to secure a maximum chance for achievement. Those are the ones I want to focus on.
Every leader, entrepreneur, and sports champion will tell you that it is almost impossible to
achieve anything without goals. They are the cornerstones of your path to fulfilling your vision, to advancement, improvement, and growth. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Indeed, goals are not just wishes or dreams: They need a roadmap and a healthy and forward-looking mindset, the mindset of an agent of change.
If you hesitate about where to start, ask yourself: How much do you want something (to change), and what is it? How high is your energy level and resilience? Are you prepared to go the extra mile? Is your goal realistic, and are you confident that you can reach it if you give it your best shot? Who or what can help you achieve your goal? If you can give positive answers, then you are ready to go and develop a strategy enabling you to measure your progress. This applies to all human beings in all circumstances, regardless of their social status or degree of education.
But if your answers are uncertain, then ask the ultimate question: What would it cost you if you did not envisage any goals, any change, or any progress? For how long can you afford to float in boredom or spiral into chaos before you break or get seriously ill? Is this how you imagined your life?
Here is a metaphor to illustrate and support your goal-setting process: Try to imagine the entire spectrum of possible goals as if it were a big pond with thousands of different fishes. The choice and diversity may seem overwhelming at first. Now, put yourself in the shoes of a fisherman trying to make a living by catching fish every day. What would he do? What kind of fishing rod and equipment would he use for which type and size of fish? Would he try to catch the fish from land, or would he use a boat? What would he need to learn about the behavior of his preferred fish and the conditions of the pond to increase his chance of catching many on a good day? If catching and selling his fish is just a means to an end and there is a higher goal, what mindset is necessary so that our fisherman never loses sight of his goal, even in times of adversity?
The process of setting goals follows the same pattern and requires the same mindset regardless of how simple or complex the path to achieving your goals is. There is no free lunch, no easy way, and certainly, no reason to judge anybody’s personal goals. Setting goals is a clear sign that you take yourself seriously, you wish to change and improve a certain situation, and you want to be responsible for this improvement.
A mini catalog of helpful steps on the road to setting your goals
1. Slow down mentally and learn (again) to trust your instincts with caution
Be aware of your gut feelings, those deep, intuitive insights that reflect your true needs, and the strong emotions that sometimes tend to overpower them, such as exuberance, anger, or anxiety. Trusting your instincts can be helpful when they lead you toward self-care, positive encounters, and constructive, well-reflected actions. Even in changed circumstances, this might spark your creativity, expand your problem-solving abilities, or deepen your empathy. Embracing these gifts fosters confidence and positions you so that you can move forward with a positive outlook.
2. Don’t be shy to seek an external perspective
When you enter a new phase of your life, it is easy to misinterpret your instincts. Whether you ask a close friend, a trusted colleague, a counselor, a coach, or a mentor, having someone else provide input can help you validate your instincts or recognize where they might be leading you astray. Mirroring and finetuning your goals is important to rebuild trust in yourself and give you a feeling of empowerment, especially when others depend on you.
3. Identify and preserve the elements of your life that are positive and productive
This might include healthy relationships, fulfilling activities, or effective routines. Reflect on what has been helpful, in which situations you have excelled in the past, and consider how these aspects can be adapted or maintained in your new situation. Look at each aspect of your life with a discerning eye, keeping what is valuable and letting go of what no longer serves you.
4. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition
Even if you are the type who would rather jump over three steps at once, you will learn that reorganizing takes time. There will be moments of progress and setbacks, the latter of which are not always within your responsibility. Depending on the circumstances, it is crucial to analyze setbacks with compassion, coolness, or even a sense of humor because they are a normal part of life and growth. Patience means allowing yourself to progress at your own pace, recognizing that small steps are still steps forward. Celebrate victories and give yourself a break when the result is not exactly what you wished for. There is always a tomorrow when you can try again.
5. Stay flexible and responsive to your changing needs and welcome change as natural and necessary
Goals can be adapted, plans can be revised, and your pace can be adjusted. Practice acceptance when there is nothing more to be done and move on. Ask yourself frequently: What inspires you? What makes you proud and happy? What can you learn from a certain experience? What attitude or action can help you reach your goal or improve your situation?
I am sure that you are well-positioned now to tackle the task of setting your personal goals with courage and confidence. May this turn out to be a powerful journey of discovery and self-revelation!
Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified systemic coach and online trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues. Before coaching, she spent 20 years in international wealth management and leadership positions with different banks in Zurich. Initially, Tatjana obtained a degree in hispanic and russian literature and history from the University of Geneva. She is a firm believer in life-long learning and fluent in seven languages.
