Written by: Andrée Funnell, Senior Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A guaranteed way of achieving success is to stop self-sabotaging your life!
Do any of the following reasons cause you a problem or disrupt your life and your potential for the future?
You continue to work in a full-time job that you hate. However, what you want is the freedom and flexibility of either changing your career or running your own business from home. What is stopping you? The likelihood is fear and self-doubt.
Self-doubt is an issue as you often lack confidence, have limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage your life. You, therefore, don’t believe you are capable or worthy of achieving success.
Finding solutions for the challenges you face in your business or personal life is a problem. This is due to the fact that you are too close to the problems, so you are unable to see the obvious answers right in front of you.
How often do you experience feelings of shame and doubt, because you can’t seem to force yourself to do the things you know you need to do to effect change. For instance, speaking, networking, asking for what you are worth in terms of money, or picking up the phone.
You agonise over “what could be” instead of taking action, because even though the vision for where you want to go is crystal clear, you are unsure of the steps to take to execute that vision (or, worse, you don’t know how to monetize it).
You don’t set SMART objectives to meet your vision and aims, so have no idea of WHAT you need to do and HOW you should go about it.
Sound familiar? Thought so!
These are the biggest problems most people face in their career and/or life, leaving them stuck, miserable, unfulfilled, and unsure (and not to mention broke)!
And if you’re still reading, you know that’s not acceptable anymore!
One of the key issues that people face is that they self-sabotage their future success. However, they may not even realise what they are doing or, are aware they are doing it in order that they don’t have to face up to failure. Many of us fear failure, some fear success.
In my Career Confidence Bootcamp for Career Women that I am running 15th-19th November at 6 pm GMT each day, I will be covering a number of topics. Day 2 is about Clarity – where we look at your purpose, passions and what is stopping you from moving forward (self-sabotaging behaviour). Here is the link to sign up.
Below I talk about Self-sabotaging behaviour in more depth and provide 4 key steps to overcome this destructive strategy.
Self-Sabotaging Behaviour
Self-sabotaging behaviours prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. Hence, changing those long, established behaviour patterns like self-sabotage is as difficult as recognising and understanding them. These are known as ‘Limiting Beliefs’, ‘Imposter Syndrome’ or ‘Inner Critic’
How, then, can you eliminate sabotaging beliefs and emotions?
Firstly, understand and accept yourself before attempting to understand and accept others. You have to take a journey within for personal evaluation. Furthermore, this means looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialogue or self-talk.
Remain open-minded to what you see and hear when understanding your beliefs. This is essential when making constructive changes in your behaviours. Deciding how far and deep you want to go before introspection is your decision.
However, you can take your life to a new level. Discover empowering insights to eliminate damaging self-talk and undermining behaviours.
Letting Go of Self-Sabotaging Behaviour(s)
It takes courage to let go of self-sabotaging behaviours that prevent you from moving forward. To facilitate change in your life is a big decision to make, particularly if you are in your comfort zone. Furthermore, it takes personal commitment to develop more effective actions.
Before you go around believing you can change the beliefs and behaviour of others, you have to first change yourself. This means overcoming resistances and sabotaging behaviours that have prevented you from experiencing an optimistic attitude. Developing an optimistic attitude, and changing unrewarding behaviours and beliefs, will awaken you to eliminate self-sabotaging behaviours.
What specific actions can you now take to become aware of and overcome your sabotaging beliefs and self-defeating emotions?
4 Key steps to overcoming self-sabotaging behaviours
1. Recognise that you are at the crossroads where your decisions and choices are yours and yours alone.
2. Change “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I Can, I Will” on a consistent basis. Pay attention to the emotional changes going on within you. Be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. Repeat the process of writing down your changing feelings and behaviours and compare your notes every day. In addition, measure your progress by the visible reoccurrences of positive self-talk and healthy behaviours. Continual negative self talk will create resentments and disempowering beliefs. Self-resentment is the seed that grows into self-sabotaging behaviours.
3. Plant the seeds that produce positive, empowering beliefs and actions. Ask yourself, “Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?” Take the road that gives you pleasure, not grief.
4. Realise that you’re the one making the conscious decision to change your damaging self-talk and undermining beliefs and behaviours. No one else can do it for you.
The personal growth experienced from facing a fearful or painful event, or adversity, is important for self-improvement. However, don’t make a steady diet of it. You can grow and change by cultivating positive emotions such as joy, excitement, and happiness.
Self-sabotaging behaviour (limiting beliefs) is one of the topics that I discuss in my Confidence Bootcamp for Career Women 15-19th November 2021 at 6pm.
6 Reasons Why Coaching Can Help You
In both my personal life and business life as a professional coach, I speak with a lot of people including business owners who have a vision for the career or life they want. However, despite their commitment to that vision, 9 times out of 10 every single one of them has at least one IF NOT ALL of these problems.
Do any of the following reasons cause you a problem or disrupt your life and your potential for the future?
1. You continue to work in a full-time job that you hate. However, what you want is the freedom and flexibility of either changing your career or running your own business from home. What is stopping you? The likelihood is fear and self-doubt
2. You agonise over “what could be” instead of taking action, because even though the vision for where you want to go is crystal clear, you are unsure of the steps to take to execute that vision (or, worse, you don’t know how to monetise it).
3. Finding solutions for the challenges you face in your business or personal life is a problem. This is due to the fact that you are too close to the problems so you are unable to see the obvious answers right in front of you.
4. How often do you experience feelings of shame and doubt, because you can’t seem to force yourself to do the things you know you need to do to effect change. For instance, speaking, networking, asking for what you are worth in terms of money, or picking up the phone.
5. Self-doubt is an issue as you often lack confidence (limiting beliefs) and therefore don’t believe you are capable or worthy of achieving success.
6. You don’t set SMART objectives to meet your vision and aims so have no idea of WHAT you need to do and HOW you should go about it.
Sound familiar? Thought so!
These are the biggest problems most people face, leaving them stuck, miserable, unfulfilled, and unsure (and not to mention broke)!
And if you’re still reading, you know that’s not acceptable anymore! Call me today at 07702 818665 or 0845 6182879 for a 15-minute Clarity Call to find out how I can help you achieve the success and growth you want in your life.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and connect with me on LinkedIn. You can also visit my website for more info!
Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Andrée is a multi-award-winning Coach, Learning & Development consultant, best-selling author, and speaker, who is the founder and driving force behind the success of Aspiring Future Competence (AFC). Since its inception in 2002, AFC has helped clients across a wide range of business sectors to get visible, get heard, and get ahead by applying inspirational ways to bring about positive change and empowerment. She has over 20 years HR & training experience working in corporate organisations and a further 18 years delivering development solutions that make a difference to people’s careers and lives. She is a qualified coach, professional trainer, and NLP Practitioner. She discovered that Authenticity is the key to happiness, fulfillment, and success and is keen to get the message out there to others. ‘Behind the Mask’ is Andrée’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity’. It’s an essential interactive step-by-step guide to turning your life around and achieving the kind of life you deserve by living authentically.
