Written by: Rebecca Laurel-Hill, RDN, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Can you have self-love even when you do not love your current body? Perhaps the stress of your life or career has added an extra 10 or 20 lbs. to your once fit frame, and you are feeling “not good enough.” And maybe that extra stress weight is holding you back from certain things you want to do. Are you postponing that much-needed beach vacation or putting off looking for that special person until you lose the weight and feel better about yourself?
It's a natural human tendency to think, "Once X happens, then I will feel Y, and I'll be able to do Z." When it comes to our bodies, we especially tend to think that once we lose weight, then we will feel "allowed" or "good enough" to have what we desire.
What if you didn’t have to wait until you hit a weight loss goal to reap all the benefits of enjoying living in your body? What if you started to have fun living in your body right now?
You can, and in fact, you should!
Here’s why:
Body love and self-love are essential to help you lose weight and keep it off. They also allow you to manage your weight with more joy and ease instead of feeling like it’s hard or a punishment. In my book It’s Just Food, I discuss why you must love the body you have to have the body you love.
You really can change the way you see your body and how you feel about your body without shedding a pound. The benefit of this is that you get to enjoy living in your body right now while your body is changing. Having a more positive view of your body can also help you stay motivated to lose weight more easily, according to this study.
I can speak from personal experience that this is true. Even though my weight has fluctuated up and down 30 pounds in my adult life, and I've had moments where I wanted to change how my body looked, I've always appreciated my body the entire way through and allowed myself to enjoy living in it. As a result, I am a very consistent exerciser and a healthy person simply because I love living in my body.
Here’s how to start practicing self-love and body love at any size:
Show Gratitude
Even if you don't love how your body currently looks, it is still an amazing body! Your body lets you experience sights and sounds, fight off infections, and hug your loved ones. Just because, in your eyes, you don't have a perfectly sculpted figure, it doesn't mean that your body has let you down.
You might not love the reflection in the mirror right now, but at least give your body some respect for all the things you’ve been through together and all the things it can do for you. Make a list of all the amazing things your body does for you and has allowed you to see and experience. Then, thank your body for helping you achieve those things and for creating those great memories.
Talk to Yourself Without Judgment
Everyone has a steady stream of mind chatter, an ongoing stream of thoughts that are the constant background noise. Many of those thoughts are harmless.
“I need to pick up dish soap at the store.”
“I have to remember to call so-and-so.”
“Did I leave my umbrella at Starbucks?”
But sometimes, the thoughts are more intrusive, self-destructive, and make you feel like you're not enough.
"I am so frustrated with myself."
"I can't believe I did that again."
“I always fail at this.”
Sometimes those self-destructive thoughts are running subconsciously and are not obvious to you, but you know they are there because you feel resistance to whatever it is your heart desires to do. We can all be our own worst enemy at times because of thoughts that make us feel unworthy and not good enough.
There is the expression, “Don’t believe everything that you think.” This is not implying to doubt yourself or your ideas, and it means you need to see your thoughts more clearly and examine if they help you or harm you.
I suggest you be like an inquisitive toddler with your brain and constantly question it “Why?”. For every thought that you have, ask yourself, “Why?”. “Why do I think this? Is this thought true? Is this thought useful? What else could be true? What else could I choose to think?” Becoming aware of your thoughts is the first step towards quieting a self-sabotaging internal monologue and moving towards change.
Your Value Isn’t Tied To Your Body Shape or Size
The most important thing to remember is that the number on the scale doesn't determine your value or who you are as a person. You aren't a clothing size or a weight. You are not fat or overweight or untoned or out-of-shape or unhealthy. You get to decide your identity, so choose wisely. Make sure that what you identify yourself as inspires you. Are you a loving daughter, a loving mother, an adoring wife, an encouraging co-worker, an ambitious career woman, a successful business owner, or a caring person? Who do you value being, and who do you aspire to be? Choose that as your identity. This is the key to real transformation, and you must start seeing yourself as the person you aspire to be and who you are becoming.
Finally, how you eat does not determine your worth or what you are capable of when it comes to creating your dream health or dream body. You aren't a bad or incapable person because you always eat that extra slice of pie or the whole bag of chips. If you eat something and feel bad afterward, it doesn’t mean that you are bad; it means there is another aspect of you that desires something else, and she wants you to listen to her instead of shutting her out.
That aspect of you feels bad because she wants you to experience the self-love, self-respect, and self-confidence that are your birthright. They are not reserved for when you hit your weight goal or "eat perfectly." They are what will allow you to achieve and sustain all the goals you have for your body and eating.
Self-love is what allows you to show up for yourself. Self-respect is what allows you to stay committed even after the tough days. Self-confidence is what keeps driving you forward because you know that you can achieve what you desire because you always have your own back even when you fail.
If you want help learning how to create a new relationship with your body and food so that you can step into the version of yourself you truly desire to be, check out my book It’s Just Food. The book teaches you a simple 5-step process that allows you to transform into what your heart truly desires you to be.
Rebecca Laurel-Hill, RDN, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Rebecca Laurel-Hill is a registered dietitian-nutritionist and mindset coach who previously struggled with exercise bulimia. She teaches other driven, high-achieving women how to end cycles of over-striving, over-stressing, and emotional eating to cope. Her mission in business is to create a world of women who have an easy, healthy relationship with food and love living in their bodies.
