Written by Wallace Shane Giron Dharmasena, Author
Wallace Shane Giron Dharmasena is an individual with an undying passion for the art of literature and filmmaking. He is the creator of Reflections, a page that focuses on forging thought provoking, heartfelt, and hopeful works of poetry. An author of multiple books, his most notable work being "You, The Beauty & The Madness In Between."
Everybody these days is well-informed on the aspect of self-care. It is truly no surprise, seeing the rise of illnesses out there in the world. Be it mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. In this present day and age, issues such as these are acknowledged and brought to light more than ever. Now, there are a multitude of reasons why self-care itself is important, it even goes without saying. But certain forms of media tend to depict this aspect in a light of utter selfishness, and very few actually highlight the reason as to why taking good care of yourself is a selfless form of love and responsibility. Not just towards yourself, but also towards the people around you.
If you’re okay
You, yourself. With all of your talents, gifts, values, and skills, plays an integral part in this story of you and your loved ones called “Life”. Whether or not you believe it to be true, you are valuable beyond your comprehension. I know it can be difficult to think so, given the tough times and tribulations you must go through on a daily basis. But regardless of those chapters, where you are broken, anxious, and helpless. You are still you. Now, putting it into perspective, ever wondered why your parents would be so anxious and in pain, whenever you got hurt? Or if your dear friends would feel bad and step up for you, whenever you were getting insulted or bullied?
It’s simply because they genuinely care about you. And with that sense of genuine care, comes a longing to see you doing better in life. For people who are truly there for you through thick and thin, would genuinely have trouble resting easy, knowing that you, someone who means so much to them, is going through a stage of pain. Therefore, I believe that this saying that I say to loved ones rings a bit of truth: “If you’re truly okay, then I’m okay.”
How does it help others?
You, working on improving yourself, does not essentially help other people in need. It solely benefits you. But in doing so, you are putting yourself in a suitable position to lend a helping hand. For example, if your stature is quite feeble emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, then naturally you would not be able to help others with lifting off the burdens from their chest. Simply because you, yourself, were not able to overcome such burdens in your life. Therefore, you generally do not know how to help them. But, if you did the work, to heal, overcome obstacles, and grow from your own challenges and tribulations in life, then you would be able to have a general idea on the solution. Thus, you would be able to empathize with other people in similar situations, and overall provide a little bit of helpful suggestions, which would provide some insight as to how they can heal from it, overcome it, and grow from it, just as you did.
The stepping stones of self-care
We as people, despite our age or experience, are all living life for the very first time. That being said, it is normal for all of us to misinterpret things, to make mistakes, and to disregard certain crucial aspects, when it comes to our well-being. Therefore, I’ve come up with a few stepping stones for all of us to implement, when dealing with the process of self-care.
1. Acknowledgement is key
As they say: “The first step is always the toughest one to take.” In this case, that first step would be acknowledging that you are not as well put together as you thought you were. You need to see yourself for who you truly are, at this current point in time. For both your strengths and weaknesses, through an unbiased lens. You can do so, through acts of meditation or journaling. Giving yourself the time to truly analyze, what exactly are the areas in which you excel in and need improvement on. Then, act accordingly on improving those weaknesses, whilst also using your current strengths to help out with the process. It’s a difficult process to partake in, and it is one that needs to be given just the right amount of time and thought, to do it properly. That is why, if you do decide to start, make sure that you give yourself just enough time and patience. You do not need to rush it.
2. Be kind
It can be quite easy for us to discourage and blame ourselves, more so if we intentionally or unintentionally put ourselves in dire situations. Becoming overwhelmed and caught up in our own heads, plagued with our inner fears and insecurities. But that would not do you any good. In fact, it might just be the very cause of you staying in places or certain phases in life where you no longer belong. That is why, you have to be a little bit more considerate and kind to yourself, whilst you’re on this journey of healing and self-care. Yes, you have flaws, you do make mistakes, and you do make bad decisions sometimes. But do not be so blindsided, that your shortcomings are all you see. You have to push past that phase of self-pity and blame, and also see that you’re making a conscious effort to improve yourself through every set-back. Be gentle with yourself, it’s your first time living, too.
3. Growth is priority
Now that you’ve carefully contemplated on your strengths and weaknesses, partaking in exercises and routines that help with that, whilst being considerate and kind to yourself, the last but most important stepping stone of all, is the aspect of growth. You need to be able to distinguish between habits and routines that may aid or hinder your growth through this journey. Be it, certain vices or activities that you indulge in, or certain relationships that have been proven to be toxic and destructive. Whatever it may be in respect to your personal life, if it does not align with propelling your growth as a human being for the better, it’s better not to indulge nor entertain it any longer.
It’s a lifetime process
If we really think about it, taking good and proper care of ourselves in all aspects is a never ending process. So long as we are breathing and living, we carry the responsibility of making sure we get the necessary help, in order to maintain our overall health as people for the remainder of our lifetime on earth. It can be grueling and discouraging to do so at times, when all hope seems to be lost in certain stages of failure, heartache, and lost in life. But just remember to be kinder to yourself, and know that you are worth the time and effort it takes, to heal, grow, and flourish, through all the stages of life that you experience.
Read more from Wallace Shane Giron Dharmasena
Wallace Shane Giron Dharmasena, Author
Wallace Shane Giron Dharmasena is an ecstatic, spontaneous, and hopeful mind. Born with a condition known as Hydrocephalus, which has endowed him with difficulty in walking, coordination, balance, and ridicule in terms of his appearance. He aims to spread a message of hope and redemption in a reality plagued with endless amounts downfalls, dread, and misery. A message that encourages people to look inwards and realize the beauty and goodness that lies within every individual.
