Written by: Mary Beth Schrudder, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A few years ago, I left my toxic relationship with alcohol. It wasn’t an easy decision because we had a lot of fun times together over the years. In fact, alcohol had been there for me through the ups and downs for 3 decades of my life. It was at every event, every party, every dinner, eventually lunches and even the occasional breakfast!
The more I got to know alcohol, the more I wanted it. When I first met alcohol, I was very young; way too young to be in this relationship. In fact, it was a secret affair! Not only was alcohol my high school sweetheart, but we were also covertly dating in junior high. I felt a deep connection from our first meeting and remained faithful even though I knew this relationship was extremely unhealthy. I was young and naïve. It felt like love.
In February 2008 (age 34), I had what should have been a wake-up call. I was separated from my husband, going through divorce drama, and found myself at a singles event on Valentine's Day called “Little Red Dress Party” where singles in Cincinnati gathered to meet as opposed to spending the infamous holiday (at least for singles) depressed and alone.
As you can imagine by the theme of the party, I was dressed in a sexy red dress and high heels. What a fun date I had with alcohol that night! My mom was watching my young son for me, and I was enjoying a rare night of freedom away from responsibilities. I took full advantage.
The clouded judgment led to the terrible decision to drive myself home at 2:00 am from downtown Cincinnati to my home in a suburb, which was approximately a 30-minute drive. I was more than halfway through the drive before I started to panic.
Remember that cute little red dress I mentioned? Well, the next thing I knew I was walking along the side of the highway in my high heels taking a sobriety test which I inevitably failed. “I am not drunk!”, I remember crying out to the officer, “I can barely walk in heels this high when I am not on a rocky road!” At that point, the officer proceeded to have me blow into a breathalyzer device which resulted in my immediate arrest.
That is an extreme story, and I suspect many of you reading this cannot relate. But the reality is that I did not see this as a rock bottom situation. Most people I knew had either had a DUI themselves or known someone who had, and it was almost socially acceptable in my circle of friends.
Besides, I was home within hours after some paperwork was processed back at the police station. Sure, there were consequences. I lost the ability to drive anywhere other than essential trips. I had to pay for and attend a 72-hour OVI/DUI intervention program. I also had to spend thousands on an attorney to get my DUI reduced to reckless driving. I promise it was not fun. I did feel guilty; I did feel shame. But it wasn’t enough to break up with my true love. It was not my rock bottom.
Nothing remarkably bad happened after that night I was arrested. Nothing that every drinker doesn’t experience on a regular basis. Self-inflicted sick days due to lack of quality sleep, hangovers, anxiety (hangxiety!), and regrets. As the title of this article suggests, I never had a true rock bottom. In fact, I started 2 businesses and was more functional than many people who do not drink. I had learned my lesson from the arrest and never put myself in that position again. Sure, I did and said stupid things when I would drink too much, but don’t we all?
So, let’s get to the actual wake-up call. I would love to say that I changed overnight, but that is not how it worked out for me. In fact, I had already been introduced to the Law of Attraction in 2006 prior to the DUI through watching the movie, The Secret. This documentary resonated with every fiber of my being. I had noticed, even as a child, that I was able to attract my desires rather easily when I was putting out a positive vibration, and I pushed my desires away with my negative feelings. We are still in attraction mode with negative emotions, we always are attracting.
Trying to stop this universal law is like trying to turn off the law of gravity. Everything is energy, and we are always attracting for better or for worse, so why not deliberately attract what you wish for instead of inviting negative outcomes into your life?
Like attracts like. What we focus on grows. Ask + Believe = Receive (the simplified LOA formula). Your thoughts create your reality. If you are at all familiar with the Law of Attraction, you know the basic premise. It sounds easy enough, but it gets tricky attempting to apply to daily life. Also, different people will get varied results. This is not because the law doesn’t work properly, it is always exact and precise.
The reason for varied results is that we all have different points of attraction. Our individual Point of Attraction is comprised of our beliefs from childhood + the momentum we have surrounding a specific topic + our current vibration. The great news for you to know is that we can all change our point of attraction through doing some analysis, self-reflection, and mindset work. Learning about the Law of Attraction and doing the necessary work to bring your subconscious beliefs to your consciousness will help you to banish limiting beliefs for good.
It will boost your confidence and give you the strength necessary to let go of any addiction that is no longer serving you. Why do you feel the need to numb yourself with alcohol? This answer is different for everyone. Social anxiety was my reason, so the solution for me was the practice and repetition of doing things sober. Uncomfortable things. Train yourself to do it scared and I promise you will gain confidence, and it will get easier with time. Becoming aware of your catalyst for drinking is a necessity.
I spent 13 years learning about the Law of Attraction before deciding to leave the toxic relationship I had with alcohol. I used LOA techniques in all areas of my life successfully but had a difficult time letting go of alcohol because I believed it was still giving me relief of some sort. This was a lie I was telling myself. The reality is that alcohol was not giving me relief, in fact, it was the cause of my pain, but I could not see it at the time. Denial is a strange phenomenon. I was now a Law of Attraction expert, yet not applying the knowledge to this crucial area of my own life.
It was not until I turned 44, ten long years after that fateful night in handcuffs, that I decided to ditch alcohol for good. Why? Because I simply knew too much. I knew that I was not feeling my best every day. I knew it was affecting my sleep. I knew my hormones were unbalanced because of alcohol. I knew alcohol was making me gain weight. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
I believed alcohol was giving me relief, but it was actually the cause of my anxiety. I will write another article on alcohol and anxiety, but for now, know that alcohol may temporarily numb anxiety, but the anxiety you were trying to ease is magnified once the effects wear off, about 4-5 hours after your last drink. This translates to waking up at 3:00 am with anxiety for most people!
Feeling anything less than my personal best became unacceptable to me, especially since I knew there is really nothing more important than the way you feel. We attract what we feel. It is the law. The way you feel affects everything you do and everyone you interact with daily. I should mention, in case anyone reading this is envisioning me like a raging alcoholic, that my vice was merely red wine. I was a sole proprietor running 2 businesses. The decision to quit drinking was finalized once I realized that alcohol was essentially holding me back from my purpose, which is coaching other people to level up and live their best lives.
This article is anything other than self-gratulation. It is slightly embarrassing that I had all this knowledge, yet I did not apply it to myself until I became uncomfortable enough to make a permanent lifestyle change. I disregard the embarrassment in order to bring a message to people who may find themselves in a similar situation.
Even if only one person reading this article chooses to break up with alcohol, it is worth it to me. Keep in mind, much of the world will not applaud this decision. It is not like quitting cigarettes; everyone accepts that as a smart choice. Alcohol is different. It is one of the most dangerous and progressive addictions out there, yet simultaneously it is the most socially acceptable one.
This is the main reason it is so difficult to quit it is legal, it is celebrated, and it is everywhere. How many restaurants or social events do you attend where alcohol is not available? They even serve it at salons and movie theatres. Good luck trying to avoid it!
Not every person will be happy for you when you make this choice because you are a mirror to others reflecting the better choices they need to make in their own lives. The key is commitment. Make the commitment to yourself that you are going to feel your best each day.
Your true friends are not going anywhere, the ones who leave were not real, and you will attract many new friends who will celebrate your decision. Do not wait for a rock bottom, nothing dramatic needs to happen in order to ditch alcohol. Any relationship that makes you feel worse instead of better is a toxic one. The trade-off is simply not worth it. If this describes your relationship with alcohol, maybe it is time for a divorce. For me, it was the only way to find my happily ever after.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!
Mary Beth Schrudder, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After experiencing a transformational "quantum awakening" at the young age of 18, Mary Beth Schrudder spent the next 3 decades gaining knowledge and seeking truth through the lenses of spirituality, quantum physics, psychology, and the universal law of attraction. Her personal battle with alcohol addiction as well as experiencing divorce, career loss, and grief over the loss of loved ones inspired her to help others overcome the inevitable challenges and suffering that we all face in life using the unique transformational techniques that worked for her. Mary Beth started her own coaching practice, Day One Life Coaching, with the intention of teaching others these life-changing skills. Mary Beth Schrudder is also the author of Addiction Recovery with the Law of Attraction ‒ A Deck of 44 Cards. Her mission is to guide and empower people to move out of their comfort zones, stop numbing themselves through addictive behaviours, and finally create the life of their dreams.
