Written by: Mei Flynn, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but it is your choice whether to scream or enjoy the ride. As we know life can present us with many challenges, and at the time we may be unsure how we were going to cope. It may be a health, relationship, financial or career issue. When we are caught up in the fog of emotion of certain events, we cannot see the way forward and do not know which way to turn. I know from my own journey that it is these challenging times that have led to great leaps in my personal and spiritual growth.
When my husband ended our 5-year marriage in 2016, I was living alone in Spain without a regular job and no permanent home. I had left our life in Abu Dhabi to set up our new life in Spain where eventually he would join me, but it never happened. It was one of those moments of feeling panic and unsure how I was going to cope. I also saw it as an opportunity to put what I had learnt into practice with my metaphysical studies and have faith and trust in the way forward. Continue reading to see how my journey unfolded.
Let go of controlling life
We often try and control life and stop things happening, this brings up a lot of fear and we start to create scary scenarios about the future. We cannot predict what is going to happen and often the fear we hold onto will bring those scary scenarios into our experience. This is where we can start to focus more on what we want in our life rather than fearing what we do not want to happen. The law of attraction is like a magnet and will match our thinking, and if you missed my article on this please check it out.
What we resist persists and grows stronger
When we do go through challenging times in our lives we can feel like we are on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute we are feeling positive about the way forward and next slipping back into the dark days and everything feels like a struggle. The invitation is to try and be present in any given moment and you will be supported and guided on the way forward.
Tips for riding the rollercoaster
Step 1
Acknowledge and allow how you are feelings and please do not make yourself wrong. Everything you are feeling in any given moment is normal. Check out one of my other article on handling emotions. I know when I was going through my divorce, I used to feel angry and my way to express my feelings was to journal or do some power walking to release the energy.
Step 2
Take a step back from life and do something that nourishes your soul. Maybe it could be a short vacation or a day trip to somewhere. This can help create some space for that much needed time for ourselves to get clarity on the way forward. It can be hard to think we had a life mapped out only to suddenly find ourselves on a different path, maybe this is an opportunity to trust the magic of new beginnings!
Step 3
We often feel like a failure when we experience an ending in life, such as the end of a job or a relationship. One of my favourite quotes by Pema Chodron is that painful endings are disguised as new beginnings. Humanly, we resist change, and we like to stay in our comfort zone, but I always remember and believe that change shakes us up to where we are meant to be.
Step 4
When we face a challenging time we often feel like we are entering a very dark tunnel which people often refer to as the ‘dark night of the soul.’ This again can be very uncomfortable and painful to try to rebuild our lives and get clarity on the way forward. The invitation here is to allow ourselves to just be in this space and not try to push for the way forward. If we are patient, it will be revealed to us and as the saying goes there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Step 5
Maybe this challenge is an opportunity to reflect on your life and realign with who you are and look at what is important for you. I know that as a result of my divorce I created my life as a digital nomad, and prior to the pandemic spent an amazing 4 years living and traveling in Southeast Asia. This was planned as a 3-month trip after my training as a Holistic Counsellor but I ended up travelling for a lot longer and loved the freedom of following my intuition and having so many amazing experiences.
I actually got to a point where I thanked my ex-husband for ending our marriage as I was grateful for the opportunity to embrace my free spirit side and go with the flow of life. I was able to get to a place of peace and acceptance around our marriage and honoured that part of my life which in turn enabled me to successfully move on. A book that was given to me during this time was by Pema Chodron – When things fall apart. She talked about when we think things are falling apart, they might actually be coming together.
I hope that this article has helped you to see that the things that we judge as ‘bad’ can often bring us onto greater paths in our lives. This does not take away the pain and suffering we can feel at the time, but it is can be a good reminder that everything is for us, and we are never given more than we can handle. I would love to hear if you have had similar experiences.
Mei Flynn, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mei Flynn is a Holistic Confidence Coach who inspires and empowers women 40+ to tap into their inner confidence to live the life they really want. She's suffered from low self-esteem most of her life and using a range of different psycho-spiritual techniques she has transformed her life and is now passionate about helping clients to do the same. The key is to help others to let go of limiting beliefs and blocks that's stopping them from living a happy and fulfilled life. Her mission is to help women thrive and not just survive.
