Michele DeJesus, PhD, NBC-HWC is a board-certified & Mayo Clinic-certified Health Coach and an ACE-certified Personal Trainer with a PhD, in Holistic Nutrition. She is the CEO of a 26-year coaching business, successfully guiding adults in transforming their health, fitness and weight loss.
We’ve been sold the dream of the "perfect diet," the magic formula that will finally unlock our ideal body. Yet, by the time a woman reaches 50, the numbers tell a different story: by midlife, on average, a woman has tried 61 diets and still finds herself struggling with her weight, her health, and her relationship with food. The truth? Dieting doesn’t work. And if it hasn’t worked in the past 30 years, it’s not going to start working now.
If you’re a midlife woman tired of the cycle of restriction, frustration, and rebound weight gain, it’s time to make a bold decision: retire your dieting career because the path to a healthier, more vibrant you isn’t paved with complicated meal plans, calorie counting, or food rules. It requires a radical new approach, one that begins inside.
The dieting myth
Diets promise quick results, but they don’t address the underlying reasons why weight struggles persist. They rely on external rules, ignoring the details of what is happening in your life and what is orchestrating your decision-making. Diets, in general, ignore the deeper internal shifts required for lasting transformation. Restriction leads to rebellion, and the cycle continues. But your body is not the problem. The problem is the outdated approach.
Successful and permanent weight loss in midlife requires a different kind of work and a different kind of plan. It’s not about finding the right diet all diets work. It’s about reshaping your mindset, habits, and identity.
1. Mindset reshaping
If you’ve spent years struggling, it’s not because you lack willpower. Losing weight isn’t just about changing one’s nutrition. It’s about rewriting the mental script that’s been shaping your relationship with food for years. Your mind has been conditioned by societal expectations, unscientific fad diets, emotional triggers tied to food, and deeply ingrained self-soothing habits that took root in childhood. True, lasting change requires a deep reset of the subconscious patterns driving your choices.
Instead of chasing another diet, it’s time to rewire your beliefs around food, health, and self-regard. Be willing to pause, reflect, and evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self-reflection can help you gain clarity, learn from your experiences, and make conscious choices that are consistent with your values and goals. You’ll change how you ‘think’ about your food choices, your reactions to your life, and how they drive your nutritional choices. Shift how you think, and you’ll shift from a woman who “tries to lose weight” to a woman who effortlessly makes choices that support her best self.
2. Personal habit creation
No more one-size-fits-all diets. Your body, your schedule, your preferences, your culture these all matter. The key to sustainable change is crafting a lifestyle strategy that integrates seamlessly into your life, making success feel natural.
Personal habit creation is the art of carefully choosing and shaping habits that truly support your goals in a way that feels natural and sustainable. It’s about understanding what drives your behaviors, routines, emotions, and triggers so you can build habits that actually stick.
Instead of just relying on willpower, it’s about setting yourself up for success with small, intentional changes that fit seamlessly into your life. You’ll create a deeply personalized approach that aligns with your unique physiology and lifestyle, ensuring results that last. When your habits fit who you are, change becomes second nature.
3. Identity shift
Lasting weight loss isn’t about strict food rules or short-term willpower; it’s about becoming the woman who effortlessly honors and nourishes her body. This transformation isn’t just about what’s on your plate; it’s about shifting your identity at the deepest level.
When you fully embrace the identity of a woman who no longer struggles with weight, your choices naturally align with that truth healthy eating, movement, and self-care become instinctive rather than forced. The internal tug-of-war disappears because you’re no longer trying to "be good" you simply are the version of yourself who thrives in a body she loves.
This is the tough part of the work I do. Embracing this mindset takes time; it takes self-compassion, practice, and yes, sometimes, tears. Through mindset work and habit anchoring, you will step into the identity of a woman who nourishes her body effortlessly, moves joyfully, and trusts herself completely.
The ultimate shift
Diets make food the enemy. They create fear, obsession, and guilt. It’s time to break free.
Losing weight is 80% of your nutrition. So nutritional changes are necessary. But diets don’t take into account your likes and dislikes, your cultural foods, your emotional landscape, your schedule, your body, or your environment. That’s why I say “dieting doesn’t work.”
I encourage my clients to develop an intuitive, nourishing relationship with food. No more depriving yourself, no more “starting over” on Monday. Instead, you practice trusting your body’s signals, enjoy food without guilt, and eat in a way that fuels and satisfies you. Meals are designed based on your preferences, health needs, time, and environment so that they are easy, satisfying, and aligned with your goals.
The diets, the complicated workouts, and the food rules have kept us stuck for too long. Retire your dieting career and embark on a new path that leads to your diet freedom. A path that doesn’t require you to have unlimited willpower. It’s about stepping into the version of yourself that you desire, the one who is confident, healthy, and free. It’s about becoming a woman who never has to diet again.
Ready to retire from your dieting career?
Read more from Michele DeJesus
Michele DeJesus, Health Coach/Weight Loss Specialist
Michele DeJesus, PhD, NBC-HWC is a board-certified & Mayo Clinic-certified Health Coach and an ACE-certified Personal Trainer with a PhD. in Holistic Nutrition. She is the CEO of a 26-year coaching business, successfully guiding adults in transforming their health, fitness and weight loss. Michele has been featured in the IDEA Health & Fitness online magazine as well as numerous television appearances speaking about fitness, weight loss and health. She is the host of the Facebook group Midlife Confidence: Women Conquering Weight Loss and the creator of an online 12-week weight loss intensive for midlife women. Her mission is to support midlife women in creating their own health & wellness renaissance.
