Written by: Julia Gold, Guest Writer
What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. We all experience difficulties and challenges in our lives. What qualities and tools make the difference between being overwhelmed and drowning in self doubt or weathering the storm and sailing smoothly?
3 things resilient people do differently
1. Emotional regulation.
People who are resilient are aware of their emotions, their needs, how to cope and decrease the intensity of emotions, and set boundaries.
A great example is Jack, a business owner who deals with customer complaints. When Jack is confronted with an irate customer who blames and yells at him, Jack is aware of his heart rate speeding up, feeling annoyed, and thinking that this customer was being rude and unreasonable. Jack knows that he wants to decrease his annoyance and set boundaries. So Jack takes a few deep breaths and reminds himself this customer has a need that isn’t being met. Jack then sets boundaries of how he wants this interaction to go and reiterates the tone, volume and type of request he is willing to take from this customer. So the customer either complies or leaves, while Jack is able to rebound quickly from the interaction.
2. Autonomy.
People who are resilient have an internal locus of control and feel they are in charge of their actions, emotions, and future.
Jane is up for promotion in her organization and she is running against a colleague. Jane decides to summarize why she would be the right candidate through action, words, and follow through. Jane also is confident and believes she would be the right choice. Jane has a backup plan of what she would do if she isn't picked and where she would go to achieve her goals. Jane does the work to prove she is the right choice for her company while also knowing she has the power to reach her goals either at her current job or elsewhere.
3. Persistence.
People who are resilient are able to pursue a goal even if it takes them a long time. They will pursue this goal despite challenges, being told no, and failing multiple times. Getting up over and over again and continuing towards their goal increases their chances of succeeding.
Rose was in her last year of her doctorate program and had to pause due to medical issues. Rose then experienced severe financial stressors and emotional stressors. Rose took the time to address her needs and then returned to complete the program. Regardless of time, effort, and multiple challenges, Rose’s persistence to complete the program got her the degree.
Resilience is a learned behavior and will make dealing with challenges easier and reaching your goals more often. Awareness of your own reactions, feeling in control of your future, and persistence are crucial. Understanding how to deal with frustration, fear, and failure as a learning experience and a stepping stone towards goals rather than a stopping point.
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Julia Gold, Brainz Magazine Guest Writer
Julia Gold LPC, LCADC is a psychotherapist and supervisor who has over 18 years experience working with individuals and businesses in crisis. She is the owner and founder of Hopeful Bluebird Consulting, LLC and currently helps executives and entrepreneurs recover from toxic workplaces, career paralysis, and imposter syndrome. She works with organizations to create a positive work culture, build team cohesion, improve communication, and resolve conflicts. Julia works as an executive coach helping high performance professionals break free from a toxic workplace, build confidence, and strategies to create the career of their dreams.
Julia has a unique style of blending her academic experience with her life experience and acts as a catalyst for executives to go from career paralysis to career success. Julia works as a disrupter and change agent within organizational systems with high chaos and conflict transform to cohesion. Julia has traveled to over 50 countries and uses her expertise to transform adventure travel experiences to enhance leadership skills.
