Maren Kristensen specialises in women’s mental health and is the founder of Therapy With Maren. In her signature therapy program, flourish, she helps women of all ages and backgrounds access joy, success & fulfillment in all parts of life.
I am often amazed by how deeply unresolved childhood experiences shape adult lives. Recently, I spoke with my client Anna, who was letting her anger at her father for abandoning her when she was six years old play out in her adult dating life. When she came to me, every new relationship felt like a battlefield; she found herself angry, frustrated, and pushing partners away before they could leave her first.
This is how childhood wounds manifest: unseen but powerful. As children, we endure experiences we don’t fully understand, and without realizing it, those emotions take root in our subconscious. They reappear in our adult lives, influencing our relationships and self-worth, and end up shaping our lives. Inner child work shines a light on these hidden wounds, offering us the opportunity to heal, grow, and truly love ourselves.
What is the inner child?
Your “inner child” is the part of you that still holds the emotions, memories, and beliefs formed in childhood. These early experiences shape how you see yourself, others, and the world and play a crucial role in emotional triggers, coping mechanisms, and relationship patterns.
For example, one of my clients constantly feared being fired despite being good at her job. As we explored her anxiety, she recalled being suddenly frozen out by her friend group in primary school. That deep-rooted fear of exclusion followed her into adulthood, making her doubt her worth and security in every environment she found herself in.
These childhood wounds don’t fade with time, and if not processed, they remain imprinted in our nervous system, influencing our self-perception and emotional reactions.
How childhood wounds manifest in adulthood
Research shows that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues later in life; if you have a wounded inner child, that might mean that you.
Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
Are a people-pleaser
You feel alive when in conflict with someone else
Struggle to let go of possessions and people
Feel guilty for setting boundaries
Are driven to be a super-achiever
Hold yourself to perfectionistic standards
Have a deeply rooted fear of abandonment
Procrastinate everything to the last minute
Constantly criticize yourself
Feel ashamed of expressing emotions
Feel ashamed of your body
Have a deep distrust of others
Avoid conflict at all cost
If any of these resonate, know that you’re not alone.
The transformative power of inner child work
Inner child healing involves reconnecting with the younger version of yourself, acknowledging their pain, and offering them the care they never received. Healing your inner child isn’t about dwelling on the past; it’s about freeing yourself from its hold. It’s a transformative process that can:
Address root causes: Instead of treating symptoms like self-doubt or anxiety, it helps you heal their origins.
Build self-compassion: You learn to nurture yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a child and loved one.
Create emotional freedom: You break destructive patterns and develop self-trust, allowing you to live with more confidence and clarity.
Practical steps to heal your inner child
Healing takes time, but small, intentional steps can create lasting change. Here are ways to start:
1. Recognize and validate your inner child
Acknowledge that your inner child exists and is seeking your attention. Journal about childhood memories and emotions without judgment. Go back to your old journal prompts and learn from your past reflections.
Example prompts: “What did I need as a child that I didn’t receive?” or “At what moment was I forced to grow up?”
2. Practice self-compassion
Speak to yourself with kindness. Replace critical self-talk with affirmations like, “I am lovable.” or “I am strong and able to hold myself through life.” Healing requires patience and consistency in your effort be gentle with yourself and keep practicing compassion.
3. Reparent yourself
Reparenting means giving your inner child the love, boundaries, and support you lack. Be your own best role model and teacher. Set healthy boundaries, celebrate your achievements, and nurture yourself as a loving parent would. Through reparenting, you learn how to meet your needs and care for yourself when you meet challenges.
4. Use visualization techniques
Close your eyes and picture yourself comforting your younger self. Imagine telling them, “You’re safe now. I’m here for you.” This simple practice can be profoundly healing.
5. Seek professional support
Having a therapist that you trust and who is able to take you through processing your trauma can provide immense value. Modalities like Internal family systems, compassion-focused therapy, CBT, and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are proven to be effective in resolving trauma.
The benefits of healing your inner child
As you heal, you’ll notice profound shifts in your life:
Stronger
Healthier relationships
Increased self-worth and self-trust
Reduced emotional reactivity
A deeper sense of inner peace
Openness to new experiences and opportunities
When you nurture your inner child, you create space for joy, growth, and self-love. Healing isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that were lost.
If you’re ready to explore this journey further, schedule a discovery call with Maren to see how therapy can support your healing and transformation.
Read more from Maren Kristensen
Maren Kristensen, Psychologist and Mindfulness Coach
Maren Kristensen is an up-and-coming leader in the women’s mental health industry. Her education, clinical experience, and personal mental health journey give her an in-depth understanding of the mind-body connection and how it impacts overall well-being. As the founder of Therapy With Maren, she guides women all over the world to move from self-doubt to self-love so they can live the life they actually want. With a strong belief that caring for your mental health should be a manageable, practical, and celebrated part of life, her holistic therapy program, flourish, is paving a new path of mental health support for women.
