Written by Sabine Bierenstiel, Business & Life Coach
Sabine Bierenstiel, a dynamic Business Coach and Spiritual Healer, synergizes her expertise to guide individuals towards transformative growth and profound self-realization.
In a world driven by societal expectations, professional demands, and external validation, it’s easy to lose sight of who you truly are. Many people place their trust in external systems, whether it’s corporate structures, educational institutions, or social norms, believing these will provide security and direction. Often, they search for a kind of familial bonding that is neither supportive nor real, but they believe it is stronger than their actual family. This bond isolates them from their environment. But what happens when those systems fail you, manipulate your sense of worth, or push you into a life that doesn’t align with your authentic self?
Losing faith in yourself happens gradually. It starts with self-doubt, reinforced by messages that tell you your dreams, desires, and instincts are secondary to the “right way” as defined by external authorities. Eventually, you feel disconnected, lost, and powerless, unable to make decisions based on your true self.
The three core poisons: Fear, manipulation, and dissociation
To reclaim your power, it’s essential to recognize the three core poisons that contribute to the loss of identity:
1. Fear and external control
Fear is the foundation of control. When systems, relationships, or institutions dictate how you should live, they often use fear to keep you compliant. Fear of failure, rejection, or instability keeps you locked into patterns that are not your own.
Practical example in partnership: Anna remained in a controlling relationship for years because her partner convinced her that she wouldn’t survive on her own. Fear of loneliness and failure kept her trapped in a cycle of dependency.
Practical example in the workplace: Mark stayed in a toxic corporate job despite the emotional exhaustion. Fear of losing stability and social status overpowered his desire for a fulfilling career.
Solution for clients: Learning to trust yourself requires breaking free from fear-based control. By cultivating inner security through mindfulness, self-reflection, and grounding techniques, you can begin to listen to your own voice instead of external pressures.
2. Manipulation, triggers, and emotional stagnation
Manipulation occurs when others exploit your insecurities, making you doubt your own judgment. This can happen in relationships, friendships, and even business partnerships. When you are emotionally stagnant, it becomes difficult to recognize manipulation clearly, leading to further dependence on external validation.
Here are some examples from my coaching practice:
Client A: Her partner used guilt to manipulate her, making her feel responsible for their happiness. She ignored her own needs to maintain the relationship, ultimately losing herself in the process, along with her self-esteem and trust in herself.
Workplace example (Client B): He constantly took on extra work because his boss played on his need for approval. Despite struggling with burnout, he feared disappointing others if he said no.
Solution: Identifying emotional triggers and recognizing manipulation tactics is essential. Developing emotional intelligence and resilience allows you to regain control over your decisions and self-worth.
3. Dissociation, loss of identity, and hidden energies
When external influences overpower your authentic self, you begin to dissociate. This means disconnecting from your passions, emotions, and desires to fit into the mold that others create for you. Over time, this leads to internal conflict, self-sabotage, and a sense of emptiness.
Partnership: One of my close friends suppressed her true emotions to avoid conflict with her partner. Over time, she lost touch with her desires, leading to emotional numbness and an identity crisis.
Workplace: David, a highly creative individual, abandoned his passions for a “safe” career. Years later, he felt like a stranger to himself, struggling with depression and self-doubt.
Solution: Reconnecting with a lost identity requires deep self-integration. Using Mudras for Creativity and Letting Go helps access suppressed parts, reigniting passion and authenticity.
The power of the 9 mudras for identity rebuilding
Mudras, hand gestures used in spiritual practices, are powerful tools for reprogramming the mind, releasing emotional blockages, and regaining a sense of self. When combined with breathwork and focused intention, they help you channel energy back into your true identity.
Mudra for grounding: Reconnects you with your body and the present moment.
Mudra for inner strength: Enhances confidence and personal power.
Mudra for emotional balance: Regulates emotions and brings clarity.
Mudra for protection: Shields you from external negativity and manipulation.
Mudra for clarity: Helps make decisions aligned with your true self.
Mudra for letting go: Releases past conditioning and toxic influences.
Mudra for creativity: Rekindles lost passions and self-expression.
Mudra for communication: Strengthens your ability to assert your truth.
Mudra for higher awareness: Connects you with your intuition and spiritual purpose.
Rebuilding your true identity and power
Stepping back into your power means dismantling false narratives and external programming. It involves:
Self-awareness: Recognizing how external systems have shaped your beliefs and behaviors.
Healing practices: Using mudras, meditation, and inner work to reconnect with yourself.
Empowered decision-making: Trusting your instincts and building a life based on authenticity rather than obligation.
Final thought: You are not meant to be controlled by fear, manipulation, or societal molds. Your identity is yours to reclaim, and with the right tools, such as the 9 Mudras, deep inner work, and conscious self-trust, you can step into your true self, fully aligned with your power and purpose.
Read more from Sabine Bierenstiel
Sabine Bierenstiel, Business & Life Coach
Sabine Bierenstiel blends her knowledge from the realms of business and spirituality, catalyzing transformative experiences in others. With a background in both economics and spiritual practices like Akashic Records and Seashell Healing, Sabine embodies resilience and perseverance. Her mission is to unlock the highest potential within individuals, making it tangible through her coaching and teachings, ultimately guiding them towards profound self-realization.
