Written by: Denise Drinkwalter, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you find yourself trying to move on from decisions, activities, situations that you wished you had never participated in?
Are you struggling to erase the regrets from your mind, your emotions, your psyche?
You are NOT alone. Believe me when I say the negatives in life carry so much more weight then we recognize, see, know or understand. The impact of this negativity can be festering for years and years growing in the petri dish of life. When it reaches “full” development it can rear its UGLY little head, grab you, and pull you back down into the depths of doubt, fear, despair, guilt, remorse, in less than a moment's notice!
I recently ran an incredible full house Bootcamp in which we began to unpack regret. What it is and what it isn’t. We learned what it meant to begin to take the driver's seat and take control of what happens around and about regret/remorse/guilt. We discussed the power we have when we learn how to learn from it and move ourselves forward in a healthy, respectful way.
There are three components that are key to understanding Regret and before you can ditch it. You must come to a deeper realization and understanding of what specifically you are regretful for, what YOU own and taking responsibility for that which you own. It is also critical to be aware of what is real and what is perceived and made into thinking it is reality, when it may not actually be so.
3 key components to understanding regret:
1. Ask this key question so that you can begin to separate the act, situation, moment. The question to ask yourself is this – “How does this serve me?” How does re-hashing this regret, spending time sitting and thinking about the regret – “How does focusing on the regret serve me?” Write down what comes up for you and then see what ah-ha moments show up for you in activating this process. By engaging in the thinking behind the question you begin to separate yourself from the regret. Giving space in this way is like putting a wedge in the negative thought loop allowing you to take control.
2. Regrets that are based in reality from specific actions, words, or experiences you engaged in can be a source of information from which to grow. What new learning about yourself is revealed when you take time to record your regrets.
3. Understanding regret from a place of opportunity so that you don’t repeat the same actions, behaviours or circumstances are key to moving forward. When you look at the regrets you have, what common thread exists in all of them and what would you like to change about the common denominator of your regrets. Keeping in mind that there is only one person that you can change and that is YOU.
Why is Regret so powerful? Regret gains its power by keeping you powerless. Regret lives in your mind so you actually have control of how it will play out ultimately. Regret is an act where YOU believe that you have done something that you can’t take back because it has already happened and you can’t change the past. Well part of that is true. It has happened and what is done is done; however, it doesn’t mean you have to live and re-live the past. It doesn’t mean you can’t change things now, today, in the moments you have moving forward. As a matter of fact holding onto the past through Regret is NOT serving you. Is it?
Let me know how you get along with key components I have shared above and how to process them. Reach out if there is anything that is not working for you, or if you need help processing as you continue to explore and get “Ready to Ditch YOUR Regrets”.
You can do it and it can be done but it takes a shift, a change and a new way of approaching the regrets that you have. It is time to change, for many many reasons but the main reason is for YOU. When you are able to look at regret/remorse/guilt as an opportunity for growth, change and release that which does not serve you, your life WILL change.
If you wish to get guided access on how to understand and work through Regrets, connect with me via my website or send me an email at denisedrinkwalter@gmail.com to get on this list for my upcoming launch of Regrets BE GONE- Part 1 (self guided learning modules) coming out April 2022.
Denise Drinkwalter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denise Drinkwalter is an Empowerment Life Coach fulfiling extraordinary work with women in their midlife years. She has an intuitive gift that affords her the ability to assist women in gaining clarity, perspective, and strength from within.
Denise’s specialty is supporting women experiencing the complexity, strain and stressors of the Empty Nester Syndrome. Denise’s expert guidance assists women to tap into aspects of themselves they have never explored. Women who work with Denise share that she has a unique gift, a genuine kindness, and the ability to help women release burdens, expectations and false beliefs that they have carried around for years. With her unique perspective and experiences she brilliantly institutes her powerful listening skills and intuitive gifts to hear, appreciate and connect with everyone she meets. She consistently employs her elite level coaching skills, leaving a trail of positivity, expansion and soul led growth with whomever she has the privilege to guide.
Denise has been featured on a variety of Podcasts sharing her expertise as a Certified Priestess Numerologist, a Parenting Coach for Empty Nesters, and maintains a full-time coaching role in the Clutter Boss Academy. Denise’s signature 8- week course Cut the Cord-Not the Ties is a complete game-changer for all Moms experiencing the Empty Nester Syndrome.
