Written by: Karen Burke, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It's easy to pass the blame when something doesn't go the way we expect. But, unfortunately, when I take time to reflect on times where I am disappointed in my behavior concerning a situation, I notice that it was because I chose to react instead of respond.
So what's the difference? Is one better than the other, and if so, how can I learn to act in a manner that genuinely aligns with the person I am or the person I desire to be?
The difference between reacting and responding is the conscious decision of what behavior to take or lack thereof. When we react to an event, thought, or emotion, this often comes from an impulse and sometimes is guided by fear. When we slow down and take the time to respond, we can look at the situation from another angle and choose a more appropriate response for the reality we choose to create for ourselves.
This isn't to say that reacting is "bad" and that responding is "good." There are times when we react out of instinct in order to protect ourselves, for example, when our reflexes take over. Sometimes, however, when we look back at situations where we aren't so proud of our behavior, we notice that we weren't acting in alignment with the highest version of ourselves. Whether we act out of fear, anger, or even sadness, these feelings are valid and should be acknowledged. But after we acknowledge them, we need to put them aside to respond in a manner that better suits the situation.
So how do we learn to respond instead of reacting? The first step is mindfulness of our emotions and how they have influenced our behavior in the past. By looking at past exchanges and taking note of our mental and emotional state at that time, we can understand why we chose to react the way we did. From there, we can decide to do so differently next time. Did we allow our emotions to dictate our behavior in the situation?
Once we become aware of the patterns caused by our thoughts and emotions, we become armed with information that we can use to disrupt these patterns. By kindly reminding ourselves when we exhibit the reactions we don't want, then replacing them with ones we do, we rewrite the programming in our subconscious.
Mindfulness as a tool to aid in behavior modification has powerful effects on ourselves and all other aspects of our lives. It can improve how we engage with strangers and engage with loved ones. As we work to heal ourselves from past experiences, reducing our reactivity can help heal a world in pain as well, from the inside out.
Karen Burke, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Karen is a Life Coach, Empowered Recovery Coach, and Yoga Instructor. She utilizes the teachings of yoga and mindfulness to help her clients move from striving to thriving in recovery. By guiding her clients to a deeper connection with and understanding of themselves, they learn that recovery doesn't have to be one size fits all, and that their dream life is within their reach. Her dogma-free approach shows her clients that everything they need for success is within them.
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