Re-Framing Survival and Turning Trauma into Power
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 4
- 14 min read
Written by PJ Jones, Life Coach, Podcast Host
PJ Jones is a survivor, author of A Place to Belong, and a holistic trauma-informed life coach. Through personal resilience and decades of experience, PJ empowers others to heal, reframe their stories, and find strength in their journeys.
I know what it’s like to feel powerless, to have your voice taken from you, and to live in a world that expects you to stay silent. I’ve been there. I was silenced. Abused, stripped of my sense of self. The people who should have protected me didn’t. The spaces that should have been safe weren’t. For years, I carried the weight of that pain, convincing myself that simply surviving was enough. That making it through each day was the best I could hope for.
But I reached a point where I knew survival wasn’t the end of my story. I refused to let it be. There had to be more than just existing in the aftermath of what I had endured. I made a choice to reclaim what was taken from me. To find my voice again. To rebuild myself in a way that no one could break this time. It wasn’t easy, but every step forward was a step toward freedom. Toward a life where I was more than just what happened to me.
I didn’t stop at reclaiming my own power; I wanted to help others do the same. I reframed my survival not as an ending but as a foundation for something greater. Because I know what it’s like to feel trapped in the past, to wonder if you’ll ever truly be free. And I also know the strength it takes to rise from it. To say, “This will not define me.” That strength exists in every survivor, even when it feels impossible to see.
That’s why I created my platform, why I started my coaching business, and why I share my story and the stories of others on my podcast: because no one deserves to stay stuck in the pain someone else inflicted because survival is just the beginning. Because your story, like mine, is still being written. And this time, you get to decide how it unfolds.
Owning my story even when it hurt
Healing didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t a single breakthrough or a sudden moment of clarity. It was a slow, painful process of unlearning the lies I had been told about myself. I had to face the memories I wanted to forget, sit with the emotions I had buried, and challenge the belief that I was somehow unworthy of happiness. There were days when it felt impossible, when the weight of it all made me want to retreat, to disappear into the silence that once felt safer than speaking my truth. But every time I chose to stand up, even in the smallest way, I was taking back a part of myself. And piece by piece, I started to rebuild.
Reclaiming my voice was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. For so long, I had been conditioned to believe that my experiences weren’t valid, that my pain was something to be hidden rather than acknowledged. But I realized that silence had never protected me; it had only kept me trapped. So, I began to speak. At first, it was shaky, uncertain. A whisper after years of being voiceless. But the more I spoke, the stronger I became. I told my story not to seek pity but to affirm that I existed beyond my trauma. That I was more than what was done to me. And with every word, I felt myself stepping into the power that had been mine all along.
But this journey isn’t just about me. It’s about every person who has ever felt invisible, unheard, or unworthy because of what they’ve endured. I know what it’s like to believe that healing is out of reach, that you are too broken to ever feel whole again. And I also know that those are lies designed to keep us small. We are not broken. We are not defined by what we survived. We are resilient, powerful, and capable of reclaiming everything that was stolen from us. This is why I do what I do, not just for myself but for those still searching for their way forward.
So, if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re stuck in the darkness, know this: You are not alone. Your pain is real, but so is your strength. There is a way through this, even when it feels impossible to see. Your voice matters. Your healing matters. And when you’re ready to take that first step, no matter how small, I want you to know that you are already walking toward the life you deserve.
Breaking free from silence
There was a time when I questioned whether my voice even carried weight. After being silenced for so long, I had internalized the idea that my words weren’t important and that my pain wasn’t something the world wanted to acknowledge. But every time I spoke, I chipped away at the fear that had kept me quiet. I began to realize that my story didn’t need permission to exist. I didn’t need validation from those who refused to see the truth. My experiences were real. My pain was real. And the more I spoke, the more I understood that telling my story wasn’t just an act of defiance; it was an act of survival.
But survival alone was never enough for me. I didn’t just want to exist in the aftermath of my trauma; I wanted to thrive beyond it. That meant doing the work sitting with the difficult emotions, acknowledging the ways my past had shaped me, and then making the conscious decision to reclaim my power. Healing isn’t about erasing what happened; it’s about refusing to let it define you. I refused to let the voices of those who harmed me carry more weight than my own. I refused to shrink myself to make others comfortable. Most importantly, I refused to let shame dictate my future.
That’s why I created spaces where others could do the same. My book, ‘A Place to Belong’ by Pari Jasper, my podcast, ‘Insights of a Survivor’, and every platform I’ve built aren’t just about me telling my story; they’re about making room for others to tell theirs. Because I know how isolating it can feel to carry the weight of trauma alone. I know what it’s like to scream in silence, hoping someone will finally listen. And I know the power that comes from realizing you’re not alone. When we share our stories, we don’t just reclaim our own voices; we amplify the voices of those who haven’t yet found the courage to speak.
This journey isn’t about getting back to who I was before the trauma. That version of me didn’t know the strength I would come to carry. This is about stepping fully into who I was always meant to b:e unapologetic, unbreakable, and unwilling to let anyone else write my story for me. And as I continue forward, I do so knowing that every time I speak, I’m not just speaking for myself. I’m speaking for the ones still searching for the words.
Turning my pain into purpose
The journey to reclaiming my power wasn’t easy. It meant confronting everything I had spent years trying to bury: the pain, the shame, the deep-seated belief that I was unworthy of something better. Healing wasn’t just about moving forward; it was about unraveling the layers of hurt that had been woven into my identity. I had to separate who I truly was from the version of me that trauma had created. And that took time. It took patience. It took allowing myself to feel every painful emotion I had once suppressed. But through that process, I realized something powerful: I was never broken. I was never beyond repair. I had been wounded, yes, but I was also capable of healing.
That understanding became the foundation of my coaching practice, Soulful Resilience Journey. I didn’t just want to heal for myself; I wanted to create a space where others could do the same. Because I know how it feels to search for support and not know where to turn. I know the loneliness that comes with carrying trauma, the fear that no one will understand. That’s also why I built tEmpowered Voices: Finding Strength in Survivors YouTube Network, which is not just a place for healing but also a reminder that no survivor has to walk this path alone. Whether it’s through coaching, speaking, shows on my Network, or the summits I host, my mission remains the same: to remind people that their pain does not have to be their ending. There is strength on the other side of suffering, and together, we rise.
The Rise and Thrive: Empowered Voices Summit and the Fearless and Flourishing Women’s Summit were born from that vision. I wanted to create spaces where stories of resilience could be shared and where survivors could stand in their truth without fear or shame. These aren’t just events; they are movements. They bring together people who have faced the worst and still found a way to turn their pain into purpose. Every speaker, every participant, every voice that rises to share their story contributes to a collective healing that is more powerful than silence ever was. And that is what fuels me, knowing that every time someone finds the courage to speak, another person finds the strength to keep going.
But this work isn’t just about amplifying voices; it’s about creating lasting change. It’s about shifting the way we see survival, healing, and empowerment. Too often, survivors are expected to endure quietly, to heal in isolation, to move on without acknowledgment of what they’ve been through. I reject that idea completely. Healing is not meant to be a lonely journey. It is meant to be witnessed, supported, and celebrated. That’s why I do this work, not just to tell my own story but to create a world where survivors no longer have to fight for the right to be heard.
Healing trauma on my own terms
For so long, I didn’t understand the connection between my body and my trauma. I thought I could compartmentalize it, keep my mind and my emotions in check, and somehow, my body would follow suit. But trauma doesn’t just stay in your thoughts or emotions. It lives in every cell, every muscle, every part of you. My body had been holding onto pain that I hadn’t allowed myself to process. It wasn’t just the emotional weight that was overwhelming; it was the physical toll of years of stress, anxiety, and fear. When I decided to undergo gastric sleeve surgery, it wasn’t just about losing weight; it was about reestablishing a relationship with my body, about making peace with myself on a deeper level. I had to learn to nourish myself not just physically but emotionally, too. I realized that I needed to stop using food as a way to numb the pain and instead start using it as a tool to support my healing.
It wasn’t easy at first. Changing my relationship with food required more than just altering my eating habits; it was about confronting the emotional patterns that had shaped my choices. I had spent years using food to fill a void, to cope with emotions I hadn’t allowed myself to feel. But as I worked through my healing, I began to recognize the difference between true nourishment and the temporary comfort I had sought in unhealthy habits. The process of learning what truly nourishes me on all levels became an essential part of reclaiming my body and my power. It wasn’t about perfection but about progress. And every small change was a victory in itself, a step toward a more balanced, empowered life.
Boundaries also became a key part of my healing. For a long time, I didn’t know how to set them. I was too used to accommodating others, to ignoring my own needs to avoid conflict or rejection. I had convinced myself that my worth was tied to how much I could give, how much I could endure, and how much I could take on. But that way of living wasn’t sustainable; it was self-sacrifice disguised as strength. As I began to heal, I realized that boundaries were not about shutting others out or being harsh; they were about protecting my energy and honoring my own needs. I had to learn that it was okay to say no, to step away from people and situations that drained me, and to prioritize my own well-being. Creating and maintaining boundaries became an act of self-respect, and it was something I had to practice every day.
Letting go of toxic environments was another critical piece of the puzzle. I had spent so much time surrounded by people who didn’t honor my journey, who dismissed my experiences, or who made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to take up space. But healing meant recognizing that not everyone deserved to be in my life. It meant letting go of relationships that weren’t healthy, even if they were familiar. That’s one of the hardest things about healing: you have to choose yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable or lonely. Surrounding myself with people who truly see me, who support and respect my journey, has been an essential part of finding peace. But even now, there are moments when the past tries to pull me back, when doubts creep in, or I wonder if I made the right choices. Yet, I know that every time I take a step forward, no matter how small, I’m moving closer to the life I’ve worked so hard to build.
Survival is strength, but we are meant to do more than survive
For a long time, I lived with the belief that simply surviving was enough. I thought that making it through the day, just holding on, was all I could expect from life. After everything I had been through, I believed that survival was the best I could hope for. I didn’t understand then that surviving doesn’t mean you’ve truly healed. It doesn’t mean you’ve found peace or that you’ve reclaimed what was lost. Survival is necessary, but it’s only the beginning of a much deeper journey. It’s the first step toward something greater, toward thriving, toward becoming more than the trauma that tried to define me. I’ve come to realize that the true measure of strength isn’t how much you endure; it’s how you rise from the ashes, how you reclaim the parts of yourself that were stolen, and how you continue to move forward with purpose.
Once I began to understand that, I shifted my focus. No longer was survival my goal; it was healing, reclaiming my voice, and building a life that reflected my true worth. It wasn’t an easy transition. The journey to reclaim my power was filled with fear, self-doubt, and the constant reminder of the trauma I had endured. But every time I chose to step beyond the limitations that trauma had imposed on me, I found strength I never knew I had. I began to see that I had the power to reshape my narrative. I wasn’t a passive observer of my life; I was the author, and I could write the story I deserved. Each day, I made choices to move closer to that version of myself that existed outside of the pain, outside of the trauma. That process of stepping into my own power became my new way of living.
I don’t share my story for sympathy or praise. I share it because I remember what it felt like to be trapped in silence, to feel like I would never escape the weight of what had happened to me. I know what it’s like to wonder if you’ll ever be whole again, to question whether healing is even possible. There were so many times when I felt completely alone, when I thought no one would understand the depths of my pain. But now, I know that if I can rise, if I can reclaim my power, so can others. I share my story because there is someone out there right now struggling in the same way I did, and I want them to know that healing is possible. I want them to know that no matter how dark the moment may seem, they are not alone. That’s why I speak out and continue to share. I’ve lived through it, and I want to show others that they, too, can rise from the ashes and become more than they ever thought possible.
To anyone still trapped in silence, wondering if they will ever feel whole again, I want you to hear this: You will heal. The journey won’t be easy, and there will be moments when you question if it’s worth it. But I promise you, it is. You will reclaim your power, and when you do, you’ll find that your strength is far greater than you ever imagined. The pain won’t disappear overnight, but with each step, you’ll rewrite your story, and you’ll begin to see yourself not as a survivor of your trauma but as a warrior who emerged stronger than before. Your story is not finished, and you have the power to shape the rest of it. Keep going because healing is not just a destination; it’s a transformation. And you are worthy of it.
Your story isn’t over; it’s just beginning
Through the years of my own healing journey, I’ve come to understand just how essential community and support are. I know firsthand that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. That’s why I’ve built a platform, a space where survivors can find strength, understanding, and guidance as they navigate their own paths to empowerment. Whether it’s through my summits, my podcast Insights of a Survivor, my book A Place to Belong, or the coaching I offer, I’ve created these resources with one purpose: to remind you that you’re never alone in this journey. You don’t have to walk this path by yourself. Together, we can break the silence, heal the wounds, and rise stronger than before. Every resource I’ve built is a bridge to support, a lifeline that can help you rebuild the pieces of yourself that may have been lost along the way.
I know that healing can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, but I also know that it’s worth it. When I was trapped in the pain, I couldn’t see a way out. But now, I can look back and see how far I’ve come. I want to be the person who helps light the way for others. Healing is not just possible; it’s your right. You deserve to feel whole again, to reclaim your voice, your power, and your joy. And I am here to walk alongside you every step of the way. You don’t have to take this journey in silence, and you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’re just starting to heal or have been on this path for some time, the support is here for you. Together, we can turn pain into purpose and write a new story, one where you are in control, where you are the hero of your own narrative.
The pain of trauma can make you feel like you are defined by what happened to you. But I’m here to tell you that you are far more than your pain. You are not the things that were done to you or the ways you were hurt. You are power. You are resilience. You are a force that can and will rise from the ashes of the past. Your story is far from over. It’s just getting started. You have the power to shape the chapters ahead. The future is not a place of fear; it’s a place of hope, possibility, and growth. No matter where you are in your journey, you have the ability to reclaim your narrative and take the next step toward the life you deserve. You are not defined by your struggles; you are defined by how you rise above them.
So, if you’re ready to step into your power, if you’re ready to heal, reclaim, and thrive, I invite you to join me. Your healing matters, and you matter. It’s time to stop hiding, to stop feeling like your story is too painful to share. It’s time to start living the life you deserve. The road ahead may not always be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it. I am here to walk this path with you because together, we are unstoppable. You are more than enough, and I believe in your ability to heal, grow, and rise. Your story is one of power, resilience, and strength. And I can’t wait to see you step into the next chapter of your journey.
Read more from PJ Jones
PJ Jones, Life Coach, Podcast Host
PJ Jones is a survivor, author, and trauma-informed life coach dedicated to empowering others through resilience and healing. Overcoming a painful past, PJ transformed adversity into purpose, helping individuals reframe their stories and reclaim their strength. As the founder of Soulful Resilience Journey, PJ provides coaching, resources, and events to support healing and empowerment. Their mission: No survivor left unheard.
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