Written by Nicoleen Flamekeeper, Holistic Healing Coach
Nicoleen, The Flamekeeper is a leader in holistic healing. 10 years bed bound with chronic illness, on life support repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse were released, revealing how energy poisons mind, body and spirit. She is the Creator of the Phoenix Program 1:1 transformational coaching to heal trauma and rekindle your self-confidence.
I grew up with such low self-confidence and self-worth that a simple visit to the supermarket was an ordeal. As I picked my way cautiously down the cereal aisle, I felt so exposed and out of place. Rounding each corner, awkwardly in the way of others, I felt like I didn’t deserve to be there and needed to apologise to the world for the simple fact that I existed and needed some dishwasher detergent.
Nobody deserves to feel like that. Nobody deserves to have such low self-esteem.
When you go through trauma and abuse, you learn dysfunctional survival skills.
The ego tries to keep you safe by setting up parameters for your life, rules to live by that govern your every behaviour.
It says: well, in the past, when this happened, the following happened, and so you must never let that happen again.
It states it’s not safe to express your needs because others will laugh at you or ridicule you. They will bully and control you; they will judge and disrespect you. Then you will feel rejection, shame, and pain, and that’s uncomfortable.
The ego strategizes that in order to keep you from feeling that ever again, it’s important that you don’t speak up and that you put others' needs first. You can’t be safe until you have neutralised the threat in the room, that needy, aggressive, unpredictable person who could lash out at any minute.
Although this survival tactic worked for you as a child, when you grow up, you cart these outgrown useless limiting beliefs with you and consistently force your size 9 feet into children’s size 3 sneakers!
Subconsciously, there is an outdated belief system running the show, and because it limits you, it is dysfunctional.
When you learn that others' needs are more important than your own, you have learned a fundamental lie and accepted it as your truth. No wonder you are in so much pain!
Your ego has sent you into polarity as a means of self-protection. You become hypersensitive to the needs of others because you perceive them as a threat to your very survival.
You become an empath, which means you are highly attuned to others' energy, but as a consequence, you abandon your own energy.
The second another enters the room, you instantly know everything about what they are feeling, but you neglect your own feelings!
A lot has been said about the difference between empaths and narcissists. On one hand, narcissists are often overt in their attempts to control energy. They use ruthless tactics that involve intimidation and manipulation to get what they want.
Empaths, on the other hand, are often painted as noble, self-sacrificing folk who would give you the shirt off their back and bend over backward to please others.
The truth of the matter is that God doesn’t want you in either camp!
There are no gold stars for being an empath and for sacrificing your needs to please another.
This may be startling to you. But surely The Universe would honour those who practice love and compassion for others?
Yes, but only if you are authentically giving from a place of balance.
Whether you are abusing another soul by being narcissistic or abusing yourself by self-sacrificing and allowing others to take too much from you, you are still abusing a soul!
God created each soul as equal. Deep down, the narcissist and the empath are the same, an individual fragment of the Divine Consciousness. There is no soul more deserving of love, respect, energy, wealth, resources, promotion, the last bag of cornflakes, or anything else than another.
Sure, you have each taken on traumas and limiting beliefs that obscure your true essence to different degrees, and so souls behave with varying amounts of love and awareness. Regardless, deep down, each is made from the same thing: love!
You can love the soul without loving its limiting beliefs and actions because these are not who it really is.
God wants you to treat what he has given you with respect. To love the Divine consciousness within you, to nurture and cherish it.
That means taking care of yourself and knowing you are worthy.
For help releasing limiting beliefs that trauma and abuse have created so that you can live the joyful, fulfilling life you deserve, reach out to me for a free breakthrough call here.
Nicoleen Flamekeeper, Holistic Healing Coach
Nicoleen Flamekeeper is the Flamekeeper, a holistic healing coach transforming mind, body and spirit. 10 years bed-bound with chronic illness, on life support, repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse were released, revealing how energy poisons mind, body, and spirit. She is skilled at healing sexual abuse, domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, that results in low self-worth, alcoholism, addiction, depression, anxiety and chronic illness. She is the Creator of the Phoenix program: 1:1 transformational coaching. Her mission: help you heal from trauma and rekindle your self-confidence so that you can create the joyful life you deserve.
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