Written by: Bernadette Bruckner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How can we let go of grief in times of crisis and how global grieving bring us together for something greater?
With guest writer Laura Toop
I don't know about you, but I feel like grieving daily since COVID-19! Why? I couldn‘t travel, visiting friends felt like committing a crime and when I have to sneeze I stop breathing till this sneezing is over as others look at you as you would be a killer.
I am grieving still today missing out big time true living and enjoying life!
COVID-19 did something with people. It changes the social behaviour as well the interaction with others. Even children got conditioned that they can kill others by sneezing or breathing.
I know it might sound now very bad and yet the underlying feeling is there, isn’t it?
Many of us are grieving – differently deeping on our coping strategies and also why we are grieving. People grieve not only due to losing a beloved person or animal but also losing a job, friends due to different opinions as well family members. Losing freedom (the feeling of freedom and self-responsibility of choosing) due to politicial restrictions.
And these occasions have an effect on our health and behaviour:
Grieving comes in so many different ways connected with mental health challenges like depression, burn-out, suicidal thoughts...
What is Grieving actually? (by Laura Toop)
I liken grief to being thrown into an overloaded washing machine, on a mega-spin cycle. Unable amongst the washing, to have an ability to see, let alone reach the button, for it to stop spinning. The fact others are forcing in more washing, you fear you will explode beyond repair.
Grief follows a familiar pattern, you see, but first, we must understand loss.
Typically, in thinking about loss, our thoughts instantly go to losing a loved one, but loss is more than death alone.
Loss is a fundamental part of life and living, arising whenever we invest time, energy, love, and perhaps money into something and it does not work out as we planned, expected, or hoped. This could equally be our health, work, relationship, friendship, schooling, and so on.
You see, we journey through life, continually creating ourselves ‘goals’, our ‘golden carrots’. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute we are learning. We have people by our sides, empowering us, enabling us, encouraging us. Then, in an instant, the ‘golden carrot’ has changed, at best, or worse, gone altogether. Leaving a void, A world we do not know or recognize, and gap we do not know how to bridge.
How am I going to cope? All my dreams and plans. Gone. I have nothing.
The mind is thrown into emotional chaos. Not only is the ‘internal’ world ‘busy’, but the world around is also now ‘busy’, too. New information to manage, digest, and act upon, is coming in thick and fast,
What to do? Where to start? What to focus on? Am I making the right decision?
We are now learning at the moment…
It is an exhausting, overwhelming, chaotic, frightening roller-coaster of a ride.
You have been thrown into an overloaded washing machine on a mega-spin cycle.
As a person with high coping strategy tools, I truly believe by heart that in every challenge there are also positive parts in it where we can grow beyond ourselves. Especially with global crisis.
Since COVID-19 I never met so many people who are eager to communicate and get in touch which others. I never had so many wow conversations about deepest fears, desires, and visions for a better world. The "common challenges" like male/female, black/white… became a back topic as COVID-19 and health were an ongoing challenges for many.
Maybe I am wrong on this one but it’s what I feel when talking with many people around the globe.
Can global grief bring people together?
Can global grief also inspire for something new? New services, new products, and new innovative ideas?
Globally grieved together on social media when something bad happened! This can maybe give security and loving to those in grief as well also hope for a better future.
Living life now – not tomorrow or next week
There are a couple of things I learnt the most from terminal caring for my aunties:
Never regret what you do.
Always do it. Just do it! No matter what.
Collecting the experiences, moments, and encounters!
Grieving is important for you and your health as true healing arises by letting go!
How are you aware of COVID-19 and grieving? Tell me about your experience! Love to hear it!
More about Laura Toop:
As a grief and loss specialist, I guide, help, and support people to navigate major loss.
I help create clarity, find focus, and manage motivation, so they can love living life again.
My work is borne out of the spectacular implosion of my life 5 years ago, when I lost my husband, health, and career in quick succession. Everything I had invested love, time, energy, and indeed money into, gone in a matter of weeks.
At the time, my then 4-year-old nephew said, 'Auntie Lollipops (aka me), now that Uncle Chris is dead, you have nothing'.
But, 5 years on, I have rebuilt a life that I love, and which offers me joy again, so I know it is possible.
I now help others do the same.
My professional training (NLP, CBT, Person-Centred Therapy, Hypnotherapy for health & healing), coupled with my lived experience of bereavement, loss & grief, gained within both the personal & corporate environment, offers a unique insight into creating purpose and a passion for life, beyond the pain of loss and grief.
Bernadette Bruckner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine The creative allrounder worked successfully in different working fields in Austria and abroad. By her interest in corporate communications, marketing, human resources, and many other business areas, she has appropriated an enormous amount of knowledge over more than 30 years. Numerous educations at international top-trainers like Richard Bandler, Robert Dilts, Roy Martina, and Clinton Swaine. Internationally active as a holistic trainer in health, nutrition, and mental health with exceptional holistic resilience methods. Founder of „iMM – intuitive mentoring method and 1-min-coaching-to-go“, further development of NLP, as well as „ORINITION® – n(fl)ourish soul.mind.body.“ – an innovative nutrition work of (re-) membering our own body intelligence. Successfully Master’s degree in health management with a focus on public health. International Ph.D. & research in health communication with a focus on psycholinguistics combined with neuroplasticity and health economics. International bestselling publisher and author of numerous books in different languages. Global Author Award 2018 / Nominatee NLP Award in Research 2019 in London. 2021 opening my own research center for intuitive science in Austria.
