Written by Delia Grenville, Coach, Speaker & Consultant
Delia Grenville, Ph.D., is the Founder and CEO of Slyn Consulting, where she’s spent over 25 years helping leaders and teams navigate the ups and downs of business and life. As a certified coach and host of the To Live List podcast, she’s all about real talk, growth, and making things happen.
We often hold on too tightly, whether in relationships, business, or creative pursuits, fearing that letting go means losing control. But what if the key to growth is allowing others to be who they are without resistance? The 'Let Them' philosophy encourages us to release expectations, embrace flow, and create space for genuine connection, innovation, and success.
The power of permission
The idea of permission, both giving and receiving, shapes the way we grow. Whether in relationships, business, or personal development, learning when to step back and when to step forward is a delicate balance. It’s a lesson that my sister, Alisia, and I explored in a recent episode of The To Live List® Podcast by reflecting on the defining moments in our lives when letting go felt impossible but proved to be the most powerful choice.
This conversation intersects with the perspective Mel Robbins introduces in her Let Them theory: when we stop trying to control others, we give them the space to grow and free ourselves. While our podcast discussion preceded her book, the resonance between these ideas is undeniable. Whether in childhood, leadership, or entrepreneurship, permission can catalyze transformation when given at the right time.
The lessons began early
Growing up, my sister and I didn’t realize we were learning the foundations of creativity, resilience, and trust. We spent countless afternoons putting on balcony performances, choreographing routines, baking refreshments in our Easy-Bake Oven, and even charging the neighborhood kids 25 cents for a ticket.
Our parents never tried to perfect our routines or manage the show; they simply let us do it. Looking back, those experiences weren’t just about fun but about permission. Permission to experiment, take ownership, fail, and try again.
As adults, we recognize how this principle applies to every facet of life. Giving permission, whether to our teams, families, or ourselves, is one of the most valuable skills we can cultivate. But doing so is often easier said than done.
When letting go feels impossible
The instinct to step in, fix things, or shield others from mistakes is deeply ingrained. But as Alisia shared on the podcast, intervening too much can rob someone of the opportunity to develop their resilience.
Take parenting. Alisia spoke candidly about the struggle of watching her children face challenges.
“It’s hard for me to sit there and watch, especially with people I care about. But you’ve got to do it. You have to allow them to make mistakes and discover their own experiences.”
This same challenge plays out in business. When Alisia first started her entrepreneurial journey, she hesitated to delegate or give critical feedback.
“I used to think everyone knew more than I did,” she admitted. “Now I trust myself and give myself permission to take charge.”
These moments of discomfort, whether in parenting, leadership, or business, aren’t about abandoning responsibility. They’re about trust. Trusting that the people around us can rise to the occasion and trust ourselves enough to know when to step aside.
Balancing trust and control
Letting go doesn’t mean disengaging. It means learning how to strike the right balance between trust and control.
In my own life, this often shows up in the smallest ways. On the podcast, I shared how I’ve learned to let the laundry pile up instead of constantly reminding my family to bring the towels upstairs.
“Eventually, someone will remember they’re in the laundry basket and bring them upstairs.”
It’s a trivial example, but the principle holds. What looks like chaos to one person might be an intentional practice of discipline and trust for another. When we allow others the space to contribute, learn, and grow, we move from controlling outcomes to empowering those around us.
Lessons for entrepreneurs: The power of ownership
Entrepreneurship teaches this lesson in real time. As business owners, we quickly realize we can’t do everything ourselves. Letting go, whether through delegation, trusting our instincts, or allowing team members to take the lead, is both a challenge and a necessity.
Alisia learned this the hard way:
“I became hostage to what I thought was others’ knowledge,” she said. “Now I’ve learned that while others may have expertise, I know my brand better than anyone. It’s about working together to bring the vision to life.”
Her insight is something many entrepreneurs struggle with. Collaboration doesn’t mean relinquishing control but building a culture of accountability. Trusting others to do their part allows us to focus on the bigger picture.
What it means to ‘let them’
Our podcast discussion and Let Them Theory point to the same truth: letting go is a gift. It is not passive. It is not disengagement. Trusting that growth happens when we allow people, including ourselves, the freedom to navigate challenges is an active choice.
This practice has strengthened my relationships, deepened my patience, and helped me build a more sustainable business. But more than anything, it has been a reminder that permission is something we all deserve the permission to try, fail, and rise again.
Conclusion: What’s on your To Live List®?
As Alisia and I reflected on these themes, one question emerged: What do we need to live? Not just to get by but to truly live?
The answer is rooted in permission, giving, receiving, and learning from it.
So, what’s on your To Live List? Where in your life can you step back and let someone else grow? Where can you permit yourself to move forward?
What would happen if you simply let them?
Call to action
If you’re curious about these ideas, check out the latest episode of The To Live List® Podcast. And if you’re ready to explore how permission can transform your life, let’s start the conversation or listen to Episode 8 to start your own journey where you give yourself full permission to grow.
Delia Grenville, Coach, Speaker & Consultant
Delia Grenville is the Founder and CEO of Slyn Consulting, where she helps organizations cultivate inclusive and high-performing workplace cultures. With over two decades of experience at companies like Oracle and Intel, Delia brings a strategic and holistic approach to addressing complex organizational challenges. She holds a Ph.D. in Industrial and Systems Engineering and is a certified Integral Coach, blending technical expertise with a deep understanding of workplace dynamics. Delia is committed to fostering environments where leaders and teams can thrive.
