Written by: Serene Shereef, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“If you’re worried that giving permission to experience and engage with emotion will turn you into something you’re not or someone you don’t want to become—it won’t. It will, however, give you the opportunity to be your most authentic self.” ‒ Brené Brown, Rising Strong
We grow up with so many silent [and not so silent] expectations…
“Be a good listener”
“Listen to your parents, teachers, elders…”
The expectations continue to grow as adults…
“Work hard, do all the things...you will have time to relax “later”…”
“Be a good team player”
“More is better”
“Look at other successful people and do that”
“Stop being so loud, quiet, talking too much, talking too little…”
and so many more ways that we are told that we aren’t enough as we are.
Our people-pleasing habit has been reinforced over time, with the dopamine surge whenever we do meet these expectations. And the anxiety and internal struggle of wanting that external validation which becomes a beast that cannot be controlled, while trying to meet a multitude of never-ending expectations.
“When you say yes to others, make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself.” ‒ Paulo Coehlo
So how do we break this habit of people-pleasing, and finally give ourselves permission to be ourselves?
Ultimately we hold the key to unlocking this self-imposed prison, and only we can give ourselves permission to be human, to allow our feelings [whether they are considered positive or negative], to say “No”, to succeed, to fail, to accept all of ourselves, to stop comparing, to be imperfect, to take care of ourselves, to ask and accept help, to let go...only we can give ourselves permission to be just who we are. Nothing more needs to happen to make us worthy of being human. We are enough just as we are.
The first step is taking ownership of our life.
For many of us, its been a while since we asked ourselves these questions…
“Who am I?”
“What are my beliefs, my values, my dreams?”
“What brings me joy?”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ‒ Ralph Waldo Emerson
The second step is accepting who we are.
When we can accept and love ourselves for being imperfect and quirky, our authentic creative human inner-self feels brave to come out and be seen.
The third step is to embrace the joy in the moment.
Our happiness is not a magic trophy that appears when we cross the finish line.
“How can you be happy today?”
Give yourself permission to be happy now. Gratitude journaling and mindfulness tools such as savoring our precious moments are great ways to connect to the joy in the moment.
Connect with me via social media [as below] and my podcast [Mindfulness and Productivity Systems podcast on iTunes] to continue exploring what it means to build habits on giving ourselves permission to be human.
If you are ready to take it even deeper and really apply this to your life, if you're tired of being stuck in the same place every day, having the same problems, not understanding or not knowing how to create that change, I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me. So we can explore what this means to your unique set of needs. If you're ready to take your life to the next level, then I invite you to explore this because the truth is nothing changes if nothing changes!
Serene Shereef, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Serene Shereef is a general & trauma surgeon and a mindfulness & productivity certified life coach. After struggling with severe burnout and hitting rock bottom, she used the energy of mindfulness with the scientific principles of habit building and created systems of productivity to reclaim her life. She now uses this unique powerful framework to help other professional women struggling with burnout and overwhelm to take control of their time, mind & energy. She has created an integrated mindfulness and productivity program that builds clarity on your life’s passion and purpose and uses individualized systematic tools to take control of your life so that you have time for everything that is important to you. Her goal is to help you do less and live more, embracing the joy of living your best life.
