Written by: Canse Karatas, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
Ever imagined an experience or day and it just has not met expectation? Feeling wiped out as you just keep pushing on a project but taking no steps forward? Struggle to not be constantly critical of those around you? Does your self-talk bully you? Perfectionism, a trait sometimes admired for its association with high standards and exceptional achievements can paradoxically become a relentless pursuit that hinders personal growth. This complex phenomenon manifests in various forms impacting individuals across diverse domains of life, from academics and career pursuits to personal relationships. In this exploration of perfectionism we delve into its definitions, manifestations, underlying psychological factors and the potential consequences. Also highlighting strategies for fostering a healthier relationship with the pursuit of excellence.
At its core, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by a relentless pursuit of flawlessness and setting exceptionally high standards for oneself. Psychologists often differentiate between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. Adaptive perfectionism involves setting high standards and striving for excellence without an overwhelming fear of failure. On the other hand, maladaptive perfectionism is associated with an intense fear of making mistakes, a constant need for approval and a tendency to be overly self-critical. Perfectionism can manifest in various ways, impacting both thoughts and behaviours. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies often engage in all-or-nothing thinking. Viewing their efforts as either perfect or a complete failure. They may have an intense fear of making mistakes and go to great lengths to avoid them. Procrastination can also be a manifestation of perfectionism, as individuals delay tasks due to the fear of not meeting their high standards.
In the academic realm, perfectionism may drive students to pursue top grades at the expense of a balanced lifestyle. In the professional arena, it can lead to overworking and burnout as individuals strive to meet unrealistic expectations. In interpersonal relationships, the fear of not being perfect may hinder authentic connection and vulnerability. Understanding the roots of perfectionism requires an exploration of both environmental and internal factors. External pressures, such as societal expectations, parental influences or a competitive academic and work environment, can contribute to the development of perfectionistic tendencies. Internally, personality traits such as conscientiousness and cognitive factors, such as fear of failure can also play a role. Early experiences, such as receiving conditional love or praise based on achievements can contribute to the development of perfectionistic tendencies. A child who consistently receives approval only when meeting high expectations may internalize the belief that their worth is contingent upon constant success.
While perfectionism can drive individuals to achieve remarkable feats it is not without its costs. The relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to chronic stress, anxiety and even depression. There could be moments pass by taking the joy out of everything. The fear of failure may paralyze individuals preventing them from taking risks or pursuing new opportunities. Burnout, a state of physical and emotional exhaustion is a common consequence of perfectionism. Individuals push themselves beyond their limits in the quest for an unattainable ideal. In relationships, perfectionism can strain connections. The fear of not being perfect may lead individuals to hide their vulnerabilities and true selves, creating a facade that hinders authentic intimacy. Unrealistic expectations of others can also strain relationships as perfectionists may struggle to accept imperfections in those around them too.
Fostering a healthier relationship with perfectionism involves acknowledging its presence and working towards a more balanced approach to achievement. Embracing a growth mindset which views challenges and mistakes as opportunities for learning can counteract the paralyzing fear of failure associated with perfectionism. Setting realistic and achievable goals, breaking larger tasks into smaller steps and celebrating progress rather than fixating on the end result can also help individuals navigate the perfectionistic tendencies. Learning to embrace imperfection as a natural part of the human experience can be a powerful antidote to the anxiety and self-criticism that perfectionism often brings. Overcoming perfectionism requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion and the development of healthier coping mechanisms. Changing your mindset and thought patterns can be really empowering and promote clarity. By aiming for improvement, believing in yourself and acknowledging that practice makes better you are already coming from a healthier starting position.
‘Practice makes better’
Mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises, can also be valuable tools in managing perfectionism. By cultivating present-moment awareness, individuals can learn to disengage from the constant pressure to be perfect and appreciate the journey rather than fixating on the destination. Educational institutions and workplaces play a crucial role in shaping the experiences of individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. Cultivating a culture that values effort, resilience and continuous improvement over perfection can contribute to a healthier environment. Encouraging open and honest communication and not shaming when things don’t go to plan but working together. Providing resources for stress management and coping strategies can also create a supportive atmosphere.
Perfectionism, while often associated with the pursuit of excellence can become a barrier to personal growth and well-being when taken to extremes. Understanding its roots, manifestations, and consequences is essential for individuals, educators and employers. By fostering a culture that values progress over perfection and equipping individuals with the tools to manage perfectionistic tendencies we can create environments that encourage achievement while prioritizing mental health and overall well-being. Between ambition and self-compassion, lies the path to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Have the courage to be imperfect.
Hopefully this blog has got you thinking and made you question things. If you feel you would like to explore in more depth, please get in touch for a free initial call to help put you at ease and discuss what you would like to get from therapy. I also have some affordable options Worldwide Online and Leeds – LS3: £25 launching in January 2024 through a collaboration project. Please get in touch for more information.
Canse Karatas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Canse Karatas, has her own Counselling & Psychotherapy Private Practice. Has 10 years experience working for a range of services with a variety of issues like abuse, anxiety, depression, loneliness, low confidence, schizophrenia, self-harm, suicide and much more. She also worked in a Therapeutic Community which was DBT focused with ladies who have a personality disorder. Canse is Passionate about mental health awareness and actively seeks ways to help people. Her therapeutic influence is from an Integrative Approach mostly linked to Humanistic, Relational & Creative ways of working. Being mixed race she really values diversity and open-mindedness. Canse believes that we all have the resources within us to be the best version of ourselves for the future we deserve.
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