Written by: Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many of you are still looking for that validation? Go ahead, raise your hand. I also fell into that trap at one point in my life. After much self-evaluation, way cheaper than therapy and learning not to give a damn, I got over it quickly! After this article, I hope you will too! Ready? Here we go!
Somewhere, I believe we were messed up as children in our lives by our parents. Yes, parents, I am blaming you. Why? You were the ones who wanted us to be the best at almost everything that we did. You praised us, and we got used to having the validation. So, every time your therapist sends that monthly or for some weekly bill, yes, look at your mother and father. Don’t worry, mom and dad, we still love you. Why do we feel that we have to be perfect at almost everything? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Are we in a world where everyone must be something else to be accepted? Why can’t I have curly hair, freckles, and snort when I laugh?
Why can’t I drop an “F”-bomb at an inappropriate moment now? Don’t go and do something that will get you fired, and then blame me. Why do we feel that we have to? Yes, I am using that “P” word again, perfect! I personally love someone who shows me their authentic self. Remember that quote from one of my favorite poets Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” That’s the person I want to know, not the misrepresentation of themselves. Authenticity. Such a refreshing and liberating word. People don’t want Polly Perfect; they want Anna Authentic. Trust me. There are enough suggestive perfect people out there, we don’t need anymore. I appreciate the person who is not afraid to show you who they are. These are the ones that you respect more because you know exactly where they are coming from always! I can comfortably say that I am in that category now. My high school teacher Ms. Samuels would be so proud of me now. Trust me, it took a while to get here, but I am so glad that I did. Trying to be perfect in all aspects of your life is so exhausting. We all have gifts that were given to us when we were born. I always ask, “what is your Superpower?” The answer is simple. Your Superpower is that no one is you. It makes sense, right? No one can do what you can do, whatever that is. Embrace your gift, share it with the world, and stay humble through the process. So, my friends, as you continue through this thing called LIFE, remember to stay true to yourself and, most importantly, be your best self. Authenticity lasts a lot longer than perfection ever will. My wish for all of you is that you find your authentic self while finding your tribe and building your empire.
Have a great day on purpose!
Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Felicia Shanken is a Women Strategist and Builder. She is the Founder/CEO of the Philadelphia Women's Network Connection, LLC and PWNC Foundation 501(c)(3). PWNC is about helping local businesswomen build their businesses, connect with like-minded individuals and benefit from shared resources. The Foundation is committed to helping women growing a business as solo entrepreneurs transition from a full-time or part-time job to full-time entrepreneurship. Felicia has also been recognized and honored by "Fun Times Magazine" in their March/April 2020 edition for being "2020 Philadelphia Who's Who Black Women of Influence". Felicia had the opportunity in September 2019 to have her own show on RVNTV, a digital television platform called "Power Up Your Passion" where she brings guests on to talk about their passion in life and how it leads to where they are now. Felicia was raised in Queens, New York. She moved to Philadelphia over 20 years ago, where she met her husband, Paul, a native Philadelphian. They live in the Fairmont area of Center City, Philadelphia.
