Written by: Eleanor Silverberg, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever felt at a loss, overwhelmed, not knowing what to do first? Perhaps you are feeling this way now. It is a good idea to have a reserve of coping tools to handle overwhelming situations, such as daily living through pandemic years, that can potentially immobilize you. You can maintain that reserve yourself using the 3-A Coping Framework I developed.
The components of the 3-A Coping Framework are action words Acknowledge, Assess, Assist.
To provide a simplified explanation.
Acknowledge the adversity and loss(es), face reality;
Assess the physical, emotional and spiritual impact of the adversity and loss(es);
Assist with whatever strategies that allow you to move forward stronger.
The components can each be applied on their own not in any specific order or applied simultaneously. You are assisting by assessing and acknowledging.
Since one of my specialties is assisting overwhelmed family caregivers, I have applied the 3-A Coping Framework with people who support and provide care for family members living with serious conditions such as MS, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. Through encouraging them to self monitor with self awareness, they are assisting themselves by acknowledging the reality of their situation and assessing the impact such as feeling overwhelmed or immobilized.
The state of being immobilized can be addressed for various circumstances just as it has been addressed for family caregivers in this excerpt from my book “Keeping It Together: How to Cope as a Family Caregiver without Losing Your Sanity”:
Immobilized? “Acknowledge, Assess, Assist” is a disciplinary self-care tool that allows movement to happen.
In addition to assessing appropriate coping behavior, self-awareness is a means for discovering maladaptive coping behavior in order to make changes to adapt better in situations of loss. Immobilization can obstruct coping in adverse situations. To acknowledge immobilization, we need to recognize what it looks like.
The Macmillan Dictionary defines “immobilize” as a verb, “to stop someone or something from moving.” A synonym is “to disenable.” Those who are immobilized are physically unable to move.
Mentally, the immobilized reaction may include disorientation, confusion, energy loss, loss of concentration, and loss of decision-making ability. There may also be a loss of judgment and lack of ability to access your reserve of coping strategies. In grief from situational loss, you can be immobilized while feeling numb or in shock.
As a caregiver for a chronically ill family member, you may become immobilized in a number of different types of scenarios. You may feel numb or in shock receiving the diagnosis of your family member’s progressive illness or when the demands of care are more than you can handle.
Self-awareness, acknowledging and assessing the experience of loss of coping ability that results from an overwhelming or immobilizing reaction could assist in preventing a further spiral out of control. To assist in moving forward stronger, it is beneficial to have a variety of coping strategies as part of the Assist component of the 3-A Coping Framework – applying the appropriate assist strategy depending on the situation. For instance, a strategy you can apply when feeling overloaded with so many things that need to be done is prioritizing.
Prioritizing is an empowering strategy for coping with the “mess” at hand and prevent you from becoming immobilized. You can prioritize by:
Acknowledging, writing out a list of what needs to get done.
Assessing what needs to get done first. Prioritizing the list helps to get you on track.
Key is writing it down rather than formulating the list in your head. By writing it down, you can sort things out clearer and refer back to it. You can also feel the satisfaction of stroking off the items as they get done.
Prioritizing is an empowering strategy to use under the 3-A Coping Framework’s component of Assist, allowing for you to self-monitor with self-awareness. Do you think that if you assessed yourself as being overwhelmed or immobilized, it could consequently prevent you from spiraling downward and promote taking action? If you assess needing further guidance, another assisting strategy is to reach out. It is a strength, not a weakness to ask for assistance when required.
Eleanor Silverberg, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eleanor Silverberg, founder of Jade Self Development Coaching, is a social worker, author, speaker and grief specialist whose intention is to help adults move forward stronger through diverse life-altering situational losses, applying the innovative 3-A Coping Framework she developed. Her specialty is assisting family caregivers of the chronically ill to cope and prevent burnout. Her mode of practice stands out as she combines existing grief models with conventional and practical strategies, featuring them in her books “Caregiving with Strength” and “Keeping It Together”. She has also created a modified mindfulness program in her book “Mindfulness Exercises for Dementia”. Eleanor holds a BA in Psychology, Master of Social Work, Certification in Bereavement Education, extensive training and practice in Mindfulness and over 20 years of Independent Grief Studies.
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