Written by: Brooke Summer Adams, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Perfectionism can hold many of us back in lots of different ways. Holding unrealistic standards for the way we ought to be as people can be extremely damaging to our self-worth and impede upon our abilities to celebrate who we are and what we’ve achieved. Striving for perfection in business can be responsible for a huge amount of procrastination, lack of movement and overwhelm for entrepreneurs as it prevents taking any action that is deemed less than perfect.
Brooke Summer Adams, Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, International Speaker, Trainer and Writer and Yahoo Finances’ Top 10 Female Life Coach of 2021 is here today to give you her top tips for overcoming perfectionism.
1. Take it off the pedestal
Perfectionists are strivers, they strive for the very best outcomes in whatever they do. The desire to achieve the very best outcome is what fuels the perfectionism they experience. The interesting truth is that, just because something is ‘perfect’ doesn’t make it the best outcome. In fact, making something perfect can actually ensure a less effective outcome.
Have you ever known a person who you believe to be pretty much perfect? Perhaps someone in real life or someone online. Someone who seems to have it all together, have the perfect looks and have a perfect life. Most of us can think of a person who fits this description. Now while the truth is that they most certainly are NOT perfect (as we will get on to in a minute), the point remains that it APPEARS that they are. The funny thing is, for most of us who know a person like this…we don't like them!
The perfect impression that this person gives off actually turns us off of them. We don’t like it. They lack relatability, they lack humanism and they make us feel uncomfortable. While this common truth is actually down to our own personal insecurities and beliefs rather than the presence of the ‘perfect’ person, the point remains that their perfectionism prevents a lot of people from connecting with them properly.
The point here is to see that by actually coming across as perfect, you’ve limited the success of your outcomes. Being perfect is not the best and most effective outcome to strive for. Whether that's in your personal life or business. We think we want perfection, but when we see it, we don’t like it. Once we realise perfectionism isn't the very best outcome, the urge to strive for it lessens due to the natural desire perfectionists hold to achieve the very best outcome. Simply, understand that perfectionism isn't the very best outcome.
2. Manage your expectations
Realise there’s no such thing as perfection. This is one that as a perfectionist you’ve probably both heard and disregarded a lot – but it's true. The person you deem to be perfect probably doesn’t believe that they are. You may have an idea of what perfect looks like to you, but I can GUARANTEE you – it won’t be the same image you’ll have described to you if you ask someone else. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t go after what we deem to be desirable just because it isn’t the same for someone else – but to simply understand that perfection is an idea we’ve constructed rather than something actually concrete and tangible that can be acquired.
Perfection is this illusive end goal that most of us strive for, but no one ever actually achieves – and that's because it doesn’t exist.
There's nothing wrong with following your own desires for what you want, there’s nothing wrong with striving for more. But, striving for something that simply does not exist will rob you of all there is to appreciate about where you actually end up. Manage your expectations. Strive for your best, but let go of the idea of perfection.
3. Stop holding yourself back
This comes back to point number 1 where we realised that the perfect outcome isn’t the best outcome (even if a perfect outcome was such a thing). Aside from this illusion of perfection preventing likability, relatability and humanism, it also takes a damn long time to achieve. You could spend years striving for perfection and 1) you won’t actually reach it and 2) by the time you get it as close as you can the purpose it was to serve has probably expired.
You could spend years creating the perfect website for your innovative new product idea but by the time you release it, not only will you be shocked to hear all the masses of reasons from other people as to why its actually not perfect, but you’ll come to realise that 10 other people have already made their millions from that exact same product because they got there before you with a website that looks half as good, but took half as much time. Remember, perfection is not the best outcome, it's not even an achievable outcome! If you’re going to strive for more, strive for the best.
4. Get a coach
Sometimes, this kind of logical thought isn’t enough to break the cycle of perfectionism and deeper-rooted beliefs need to be explored. If you’re finding that perfectionism is holding you back from taking action and being satisfied with the person you are and the life you have, then it's probably time to get a coach. A good life coach will be able to help you shift the beliefs you hold around perfectionism, help you manage your standards and expectations and get comfortable with imperfect action.
You can connect with Brooke by using any of the links below.
People can connect with me via Email, Facebook, Instagram, or my Website. Wherever you go you’ll find helpful training and info on all things transformation. Read more from Brooke!
Brooke Summer Adams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Brooke Summer Adams is an Internationally Accredited Transformation Coach and NLP Master Practitioner. Rated 'Top 10 Female Life Coaches to Work Within 2021' by Yahoo Finance, Brooke runs her 'Best Self Blueprint' course, provides expert training in various online communities including her own, and works 1-2-1 with clients to help other women transform into the very best versions of themselves. Following her own personal transformation, Brooke acquired an honours degree in psychology, certification in coaching, business and NLP, an international accreditation in coaching and qualified as an NLP master practitioner in order to truly understand the process of transformation ‒ in a way that could be used to also change other peoples lives. This combination of study, practice and personal experience has allowed her to piece together a step by step process for moving someone from where they are, to where they want to be. Transforming mindset, self-esteem and lifestyle, this process can be applied uniquely to each individual to allow them to step into alignment with the person they've always wanted to become.
