Written by: Mikal Nielsen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There's this guy. He is oozing confidence. I simply have got to know him and find out how he does it.
I desperately want what he's got.
He pulls out a flyer for a fire walking course. Fire what? No idea what he is talking about. I must sign up for that course so I can learn from him. This fire thingy I will deal with later. It's just a minor and probably irrelevant detail. This is 35 years ago, back in the Danish countryside, where a group of 30 or so gather for this residential weekend course. It is Friday evening, and we are all seated in a huge room in a massive homestead. And there he is, walking into the room as if he owns the place. He is speaking clearly and confidently, and I'm in awe. If anyone asked me to get up on stage in front of a group of people and speak, I would blankly refuse. Never in a million years. That I would become a highly acknowledged public speaker and certified Firewalking Facilitator some years down the track was clearly not crossing my mind at all. My mind was focused on Nimmi, our confident facilitator of this weekend. Sure, I was apprehensive. Being a shy introvert made it hard for me to engage with others, but I was comfortable sitting there watching and listening to Nimmi, absorbing every move he made. Saturday was a very different experience. The comfort got replaced with discomfort as we went through processes that forced me out of my shell. If I had only known what was to come, I could have laughed at the discomfort I was experiencing.
The sheer terror in waiting would have made everything else so far a walk in the park. It set in after dinner when Nimmi started talking about fire walking and that we would shortly go out and build a fire to create burning red hot coals to walk on later. He clearly must be kidding. We will get some special heat-resistant foot ware, right? Apparently not! We are to walk barefooted. No way! He's pulling our legs. Phew, a bit of relief. But what if he is not? I just can't curb the fear from rising. I calm down a bit as we build this incredible fire in total silence. It is quite a meditative process and a unique way of stacking these big heavy chunks of hardwood. We stuff the gaps with newspaper and then dowse the whole thing with kerosene. And then, on a countdown, a bunch of us strike matches and ignite the fire. Within a couple of minutes, it is a massive roaring fire, and we have to retreat quite a distance to avoid getting burnt. That's when the reality of this whole thing hits home to me for the first time: This is real. We are actually going to walk on that.
It was advertised as a firewalking course, dumbass! You didn't even have to read the fine print. It was right at the top of the page and in really big letters. Firewalking Now the fear is real. I mean, really real! And I'm not the only one feeling it. Back in the room, the tension is very tangible. And with a kindhearted smile on his face, Nimmi proceeds to talk about fear. Smart move, I would have said if I had any bit of common sense present in me, but I didn’t. However, everyone was listening intensively to what he was saying for the rest of the evening. That's a really good time to get valuable information across to people—a highly alert and absolutely captive audience. And this is what he said FEAR stands for: False Evidence Appearing Real So you are saying that I'm making up my fears in my head? Yes! But it is real! No, it appears real. Really?! This is not helping, mate! And then we go back out into the night some hours later, and the fire has burned down to a big neat pile, still burning. And it is bloody hot. We have prepared an exercise where we each have written down a fear that we want to get rid of. I really can't remember what mine was, but I get a chance to crumble up the paper and loudly declare that I hereby burn it for good. I then get close enough to the fire to throw it in and see it instantly go up in flames. Shit, it is unbearably hot. I'm now terrified as we walk back into the room and go through the last bit of preparation. I came to this weekend to absorb some of what this guy has. To learn from him. To understand more about him. At this moment, that has all gone out the window. I'm purely focused on how to survive the next couple of hours. My rational mind, of course, knows that I will survive. He has facilitated these courses before, and if people were dying or getting severely injured, he clearly wouldn’t be allowed to continue doing it. But the other part, the F.E.A.R. part, has a very different story going on. Is it fear of physical pain? Or is it fear of failure? How about embarrassment? Come to think of it, and it's all three lumped together. No wonder I feel the way I do. And then it's time. We slowly walk back out to the fire and form a big circle around the pile of red embers, with some pieces of wood still on fire.
I had really expected it to be a lot cooler by now, but even though we are several meters from the coals, the heat is very tangible. Nimmi starts to rake out the coals into a flat 'carpet' of about 2 meters wide and 3 meters long. (7×10 feet).
He has to pause often to pull back from the heat and dips the rake in a container of water. I don't know if the rake actually needs to be cooled down, but the loud hiss and steam from it definitely have an effect us. If his intention is to increase our fear level, it sure is working. To cope, my intellect happily takes over to calm me down. "You don't have to walk on those coals. Nobody can force you to. And remember, he clearly said that it is entirely up to you to choose to walk or not. He even said that it was absolutely fine not to walk." Thanks! That feels better. I just don't do it. Problem solved! And then he puts the rake down and positions himself at one end of the red glowing coals. What is he doing? I don't have to wait long for the answer as he casually strolls barefooted over the carpet of coals, looking completely serene. My jaw drops, and my entire being moves into yet another intense but completely different feeling. I can feel it now as I'm writing this, and even though it is a watered-down version, it is still very tangible and intense. It's hard to describe, but it is definitely a WOW feeling and incredibly deep. And then the relief I had with the intellect taking over a moment ago, replaced with the feeling from Nimmi walking over the coals, and is now replaced with a speedy rise in fear. A realization enters into the picture: I have to walk! The comfortable backdoor of chickening out is suddenly not available in my mind. On the one hand, I can't see myself actually doing it, and on the other hand, I cannot do it. Hell, this is no longer fear. It is border lining terror. And while this is taking place within my being, other beings are leaving the circle, walking across the coals, and rejoining the circle. I'm not counting, but well over 20 people have walked, and I'm still standing there, literally shaking. And if I didn't think I could get more scared, I just proved myself wrong. At some point, all rhyme and reason disappear, and I find my body leaving the circle and walking up in front of the carpet of coals, which by the way, Nimmi is consistently feeding more red glowing coals on to, so waiting till it cooled down was not an option. My mind is screaming, "What are you doing ... get back in the circle ... now!" But my body isn't listening. In reflection, that was a truly unique feeling and experience in and of itself. I'm now standing 1 foot in front of the carpet, and I'm both surprised and shocked at how unbearably hot it is. Looking at the hairs on the front of my legs later, they are singed or burnt off. The heat on my face is overwhelming. My mind is racing, but the logical part of me has disappeared altogether. There simply isn't space left in my mind for it.
The level of fear is ridiculous. Whether it is real or just appears real is utterly irrelevant. To me, at this moment, it's real.
I don't know for how long I stand there, but I know Nimmi is looking intently at me.
To this day, I can't fully understand what took place next, but I will describe it as I experienced it.
In an instant, my mind goes totally still, and all fear, real or not, has vanished. The intellect has gone on holiday and is nowhere to be found.
And at the very same time, on the physical level, all, and I mean all, heat has instantly gone, and there is a feeling of cold air rising up the front of my body.
All this is only taking a second or two, but what do I know? Time as a concept has also vanished.
I am in a state of absolute stillness and peace, a literally mind-blowing experience.
Yes, my mind has been blown, and wow, what a blissful place and space that is.
I turn my head slightly to look at Nimmi, who now has a big grin on his face.
I know for absolute certain that I can walk across those red hot coals without getting harmed at all.
At that moment, I could have turned around and walked back to the circle. The transformation had already taken place, but the easiest and shortest way was over the coals.
And I walked slowly, feeling no heat whatsoever and getting no blisters.
I have never walked on popcorn, but if I was to describe the physical feeling and sound of the experience, I would say it would be like walking over a thick carpet of popcorn.
I could write a much longer story about further firewalks I did when I walked the coals hand in hand with my 70-year-old dad, the number of times I burned my feet, how I became a certified firewalking facilitator and lead other people through this amazing opportunity, but I will leave all that out for now and finish this account by summoning up the essential experience and learning in one short paragraph.
This experience was, and still is to this day, the deepest and most profound experience of my life in regards to:
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
The lesson it taught me was clear, and I have been able to draw on it many times in my life since then.
I now know that fear can't hold me back from that which is truly worth doing.
As Nimmi said,
"It is False Evidence Appearing Real."
I now know that to be true.
Thank you, Nimmi, for providing this opportunity. I’m forever grateful to you for it!
And thank you, reader, for allowing me to share this journey with you. I truly hope it served as an inspiration for you to meet your fears more powerfully and productively.
If you want to dive deeper into this and have specific personal aspects, you would like to discuss them. Then, I offer BRAINZ readers a complimentary 20-30 minutes Discovery Call. You can use this link to book a time that suits you.
To FEAR, let it be a source for growth.
Mikal Nielsen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Mikal's mission is to help high achievers awaken their natural wisdom to create profound fulfillment, deep peace of mind, and a perfect balance between everything truly important to them.
With a corporate background and starting and running 3 businesses, Mikal has spent the last 14 years coaching business founders, owners, and leaders to get more life out of life and more business out of business.
He is a mind mechanic with 35 years of experience in mindfulness, personal and spiritual growth, and 30 years of experience coaching others in these fields.
Mikal is an international speaker, certified firewalking coach, author of 5 books, and creator of Modern Meditation for busy people.
In addition to coaching entrepreneurs and business leaders, Mikal and his wife Kathy offer relationship coaching. With 30 years of living together and growing up with 3 children, they have learned and experienced a lot and have co-authored a book about their journey together.
Seeing how many relationships are struggling or have gone stagnant, they have decided to offer couples coaching.
