Written by: Antoinette Njombua-Fombad, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As much as our contribution in communication is affected by incoming energy, it should still exist separate from it. Yes, emotions are energy in motion and must move, but even still, we have the power to determine how we use the energy we receive. We need to remember that incoming expressions are external, without, foreign, and not sourced from within us. Someone else’s input and exchange aren’t and shouldn’t become ours because we have the power and ability to decide all and every intention for our contribution.
We need to unlearn habitually receiving any communication, especially those negatively charged, as personally directed at us, as it truly becomes that when we receive and respond accordingly. Breaking the cycle of frequent emotionally charged responses and contribution takes shifting our mindset and practicing and cultivating responses influenced not by our reaction to incoming energy but by our intentional objective of how we choose to contribute.
How do we do that? It starts with receiving the input from others as a projection of their emotions and not ours. Then, processing it with the understanding that it is someone else’s contribution and mindset, and very critically, deciding our ego-free end goal response, as only we are responsible for the intentions behind how we counteract.
Pausing to decide on our intentions before responding can be the catalyst to transforming and creating a constructive interaction and experience, whether instantly or long term. When we pause and decide on a well-intentioned end goal, we not only respond productively, but we initiate a chain reaction that can influence our counterparts to do the same, helping to break the loop of their uncomfortable contribution.
That is how we overcome assimilating such unpleasant incoming energy and move away from responding emotionally to responding intentionally. It does not mean we don’t recognize the emotion; it simply means we choose to receive it empathetically but separate from us and choose depending on our intentions rather than our perception of those incoming choices.
When you find yourself perceiving or receiving incoming energy as harmful or conflicting, Remember.
Give grace, understanding that it is sourced from challenging times.
Receive empathetically, but separately, understanding that the struggle is from without.
Fully acknowledge that it is not from within and doesn’t require assimilation.
As difficult as it might be, Pause, Process, and determine your ego-free End Goal.
If the energy of your feedback is similarly conflicting, you are equally responsible for its origin.
Choose well-intentioned responses that match your mindset and promote growth.
Above all, your feedback should preserve the authenticity of your contribution.
The goal is to receive empathetically rather than as grievances and respond intentionally instead of reactionary. We are not accountable for it and should not fall victim to letting it become a part of us. Learning and practicing separating our emotions from others allows for clarity and rational processing, leading to clear intentions and preserving the authenticity of our energy and responses. Even if our contribution is lesser than what we expect, we can truly own it as ours, allowing us to accept accountability for our input. That still gives us a chance to redirect conflict into an opportunity that influences intentional growth. That is how we become more aware of ourselves and what is needed to evolve responsibly into better people.
“It is crucial to remember that whatever choice is made will always evoke reactions presented by our universe. So, cultivate the habit of making choices guided by good intentions, those that are service-driven and growth-driven. Such actions increase our chances of living in a peaceful state with others, but most importantly, ourselves. And when our choices cause pain and hurt and conflict, always remember that our mind constantly affords a multitude of favorable options available to choose from. Our thoughts are ours to navigate, retrain, change and grow”
Antoinette Njombua-Fombad, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine
Antoinette Njombua-Fombad is a Connection and Awareness solution-driven coach, helping individuals and groups understand the value of emotions as purposeful and vital to enhancing our perception for individual and collective growth.
She is the founder of WITHIN life coaching services, a writer, storyteller, and motivational speaker working to inspire and empower individuals and groups towards a better understanding of self for improvement in areas of awareness, mindset shifting, negotiation, Identity, presentation, and confidence, using a healing-loving-and-growing approach
She is a healer who believes personal growth is crucial to all other relationships and transactional growth. Her healing and coaching journey includes a combined background in caring for individuals as a Registered Nurse and Case Manager for the past eleven years.
Her practice and writings are centered around the conviction that we are gifted beyond recognition with individual capabilities often suppressed by our fear of emotions, which continue to deprive us of the lessons needed to elevate ourselves and our relationships. As our humanity necessitates endless opportunities for healing and loving environments to facilitate self-improvement in the process of our evolution, we need to keep looking within ourselves for a pathway to growing and becoming.
