Written by: John Scott, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
My mother will be 95 in September. Her self-proclaimed target is 100. She doesn't intend to drop dead on her birthday but wants to keep going. So, I decided a few months ago to read my weekly Insight letter to her over the phone before sending it out each week. She always has something valuable to add.
I was driving home from the country and called her. She was quick to ask about last week's Insight, about which I hadn't called. So, I told her I took a break and sent out a short letter with four quotes.
The one example that came to mind to relate to her was by Carl Jung, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate." We talked for an hour, mainly about fate.
We started with "is it all fate?" and "is everything predetermined"? Neither of us liked the idea of life driven by fate. Then I asked how it was that she met my dad and was that fate? I am alive, and the father of three daughters only because my mom and dad were on the same bus about 70 years ago.
As my mom recalls, the bus could hold 45 people, and there were about 38 on it that Monday night, three being familiar; one was my dad. They chatted, decided to get off the bus together, walk the rest of the way, "and by Friday, I had a date," she said.
I was asking a friend what he thought about fate. He didn't buy that it was all fate but did bring in the story of his parent's meeting. His dad was with a group of buddies hanging out on a street corner in a small city, and a convertible drove by with some young women in it. He pointed to the woman in the backseat and told his buddies that she was the girl he would marry. So, what is that, if not fate?
Merriam Webster defines fate as the will or principle or determining cause by which things, in general, are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do.
My mom told me that my dad said it was "God-sent" when things went well.
Are these fateful meetings or situations sent or a setup? If so, by whom or by what means?
Then there is what some believe to be a law of attraction, based on the idea that thoughts are energetic and create or attract like energy: feeling good with positive thoughts attracts outcomes aligned to that, and feeling bad with thoughts of lack or want, make more of that. While there is no empirical evidence of that being a thing, I bet most people would say that is pretty much how it rolls.
I wondered out loud with my mom how she noticed my dad on a bus of 38 people. She said she was "interested" in him. Being interested implies being conscious. If she were unconscious to the environment, she found herself she'd likely not notice him, and you'd be doing something else right now.
Abraham Lincoln has been credited with the quote, "The best way to predict your future is to create it." Many others have said much the same and imply we can access free will.
My best shot at fate versus free will is that fate is a construct by us to explain meaningful or pivotal situations while right action, free will, acknowledge fate or circumstance and is a co-creating force for our highest good.
But there still is the setup question, like my mom and dad being on the same bus or my friend's dad being on a particular street corner while the girl he would marry drove by. Who sets these up?
The question that is a little easier to navigate is what mindset are we in at any given moment and whether we can be aware of a setup?
My take is that at some level, my mom and dad happened to be similarly energetically "open" or intentional about finding a partner. So while Jonsey was dammed good at finding that magma displacement in Hunt for Red October, our internal "radar" operator is best in class.
Stuff happens all day long: a street is blocked, so we go left or right, take this job or stay put, go out with this person or not, say yes or say no. With a foundation in being aware or awake or conscious, our free will allows us to access the opportunity in these "random" setups. Sometimes, there is an inexplicable knowing about a circumstance: purpose-built, pre-designed, and ready to unfold fully in all its detail and "better than plan" that we couldn't have begun to predict.
I also think that when we experience friction or disturbance, or turbulent thoughts, the "portal" closes in on us. For example, I had a plumber take out an iron pipe from the place we have in the country. It was old, corroded, and full of debris. The water was not flowing through the pipe cleanly — lots of resistance.
Is it fate? I think it's more like tuning in by being conscious of what we want, noticing with minimal resistance so we can capitalize on the stuff that happens all day long.
May you consciously direct your life so you can call it destiny.
John
John Scott, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
John worked in sales and leadership in the financial industry for 30 years. For part of that time, he experienced a great deal of stress and didn't know the way back. As a result, John's health and wellbeing suffered. Becoming burnt out was the stimulus to wake up with a determination to do his life differently.
John began a private journey to understand and overcome the negative stress he was experiencing. He found a formula for sustainable performance he now shares to help people move through common challenges to experience more great and less grind.
John has completed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR, U. of Massachusetts), Foundations of Applied Mindfulness Meditation (U. of Toronto), and the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP, Flourishing Center, NY).
John's adventures include:
• Climbing Mount Kenya and Mount Kilimanjaro.
• Two dog sledding trips to the Canadian Arctic.
• Two record-breaking swim crossings Lake Ontario (51km)
• The first to swim from Christian Island to Collingwood, in Georgian Bay (32km).
John brings his experience in life, learning, and adventure to help people do life and work well through writing, speaking, and coaching.
