Written by: Laura J. Wellington, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It might not be as exciting a topic as the Twitter Files or the classified document fiasco the sitting President is now embroiled in. And maybe it isn’t as sexy a conversation as the next pandemic or the concerns raised at Davos. But loneliness and its sister epidemic “social isolation” are plaguing our nation and doing so silently, stealthily and irregardless of age. The United States is drowning in it and the cost of this reality to our society can be equated with the increased consumption of Fentanyl, food and fantasy. If we aren’t drugging ourselves to cope, we are eating and drinking our feelings away, hence, the soaring obesity and suicide rates presently. Or we are trading them for the illusion offered by social media and large corporations honed in the creation of all types of products and entertainment designed to provide escapism. This is where we are at, folks, and it is quite sad.
At the heart of this issue, in my opinion, is people’s innate “loss of social significance.” In the elderly that means “no longer playing productive roles in society.” In the middle-aged that means “coping with life transitions that no one could ever truly prepare you for.” In our youth it means “suddenly realizing that you aren’t that important after all. You are just one of the many and will become your parents.” We all think we won’t but we do.
Feeling significant plays a key part in one’s overriding happiness, health, and welfare. It occupies that same part on a larger scale too as we see just by looking around us. The state of our nation speaks to insignificance masking itself as mental illness, pervasive anger, and chronic discourse. People feel insignificant so it is showing up significantly. The results of this have become our daily news but the root? That’s something you hear nothing about as it’s not show-stopping enough to highlight.
And yet, the need for in-person, human contact is undeniable and imperative to the health and welfare of human beings. Try as some in society might to convince us otherwise, in-person communing is irreplaceable. We know (and feel) the difference no matter how close technology gets to creating a “likeness” or alternate way of gathering. The total experience of “in-person” connecting can’t be duplicated. The “self” knows the distinction and won’t be fooled or satiated by anything less because it is made of God and, just like dirt, is undiscoverable by man in manner, process, and function. It is a primary reason why we continue to feel the need to come together in churches; walk in parks among others; and sit in lobbies or coffee shops while Zooming with co-workers. In-person, human contact is special and has the power to add years to people’s lives, providing needed social significance no matter how brief.
Simple in construct, it just needs “to be,” taking first place to the complementary “virtual-relating” technology offers and not the other way around. This “no touch, electively isolating, selectively easy but unhealthy” way of living that’s going on right now is against human nature and is making us all sick, depressed, lonely and steps closer to dying early deaths. We are a species fascinated by advancement yet trapped within it too, the implications compromising our basic health and wellness, including that of our youngest. Is it any wonder that they are showing such enormous signs of chaos, confusion and stress, well beyond earlier generations?
“I was surprised at the degree of loneliness among young people,” said Richard Weissbourd, a psychologist and senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education (HGSE). “If you look at studies on the elderly, their rates of loneliness are high, but they don’t seem to be as high as they are for young people.”
With one-third of adults 45 and older feeling lonely, one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older considered socially isolated, and youth who are suffering equally so, viable solutions to both silent epidemics need to be found. And not of the “bandaid” kind but those that create social connections in the way people truly benefit from and require. The WHO knows it. The CDC confirms it and the NIH agrees and in this, none of these three institutions can be argued. It is a phenomenon being recognized globally.
Ask me why I care? The intense loneliness and social isolation that I felt following the tragic death of my husband when I was only thirty-five years-old, well…that was the beginning of my caring. It gut me. It also woke me up to the pain of others who were undoubtedly experiencing the same thing, specifically the elderly but not limited to this group. Plenty of marginalized groups suffer this plight too. Loneliness and social isolation do not discriminate, especially in a nation whose DNA celebrates “independence, separateness, and leaving” at its core. With each new stage of life that has passed for me since as well as everything this nation has been through over the last few years, I’ve grown to care even more. Division and fear are the food in which loneliness and social isolation feed upon and it's feeding alright...big time. Frankly we need to get ahead of this harsh reality before there is no doing so. The cost in dollars is big but the price in moral virtue and unnecessary suffering, even bigger.
As I said, hardly as sexy and colorful a topic as so many of the others occupying the current media stage, but none more important amid the quietness it rides in on. Suffice it to say, the other more seductive topics will come and go. They will drive up ratings for sure. But this one? This will leak into every societal crack and crevice it finds, and root itself there. It already is and that IS is coming to a town near you.
Laura J. Wellington, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Laura J. Wellington is the Founder of Celebrity-Lifestyle blog THREAD MB. A Media-Tech Entrepreneur, Wellington is also an Award-Winning Children's Entertainment creator and Author. Critics have called her most recent book "Be Careful What You Wish For" a 'magnum opus. A TEDx Speaker, Wellington's newest venture is called ZNEEX, an app that combines fitness and socializing for users and their dogs in a fun, new way that has partners saying "it's the best idea that they've heard in a very long time" (coming to you May 2022). A mother of five, Wellington was widowed at thirty-five years old. She has won The Forbes Enterprise Award, Multiple Telly Awards, The Buzz Award, and many more.
