Written by: Tracy Renee Stafford, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You’re on a date with someone new. Almost immediately there’s a sense of something feeling ‘right’. You feel a quickening in your stomach & a lightness in your heart. There’s a sense of ‘connection’ that you just can’t ignore. It must be your intuition telling you that you have just met ‘The One’. Or is it?
The signals we receive from the body are not random. There is a sophisticated, complex transmission always at play between body & mind, conscious & unconscious. As a rule, however, we are not well-versed in this nonverbal, internal language, and so we often misinterpret the signs we receive.
Intuition - our ability to know something beyond reason, to see or feel in our bodies the truth of something that might have ‘not yet happened’ - is a highly refined & formidable power. However, mixed in with intuition are also our instincts, phobias & biases, family & cultural history, and social conditioning. All of this, too, lives in the body and wants to make itself heard. So as for the sense that the person we just met is ‘The One’, when did we feel this before? With whom? What happened in the past when we followed this feeling? Who does this person remind us of?
If we are going to plan our lives based on all the inner feelings we have, we’d do best to spend some time getting to know ourselves better, with more honesty, to understand how our own biases, blindspots & history influence how we perceive things. Then, and only then, can we enjoy the full benefits of living intuitively.
Our intuition is our inner guide. It’s embodied knowing. It’s the wise teacher within, but we can't access this part of ourselves through thinking. Instead, we need to listen & feel into a more holistic intelligence that lies within the ‘bodymind'. Thinking requires effort, while intuition requires letting go of effort & relaxing so that we can observe the signals the body is giving us all the time. Intuition may come in the form of the proverbial ‘gut feeling’ or ‘flash of insight’, but it might also present itself as an image, or as a simple word or 2 that you ‘hear’ inside. While it can cause us to feel excitement, it more usually causes us to feel calm & relaxed, like after a deep exhale. Intuition does not always tell us what we want to hear, but it usually does tell us what we need to hear.
While intuition is inherent to all of us, practice is required to distinguish which signals from the body are our intuition, our wise inner guide, and which are not. So where to start?
Step 1: Listen to the body
We can start in very practical ways. Intuitive eating, for example, is about listening to the body for when it is hungry & when it is full. While this may sound basic, it’s shockingly challenging for a culture which has been taught to separate the body & mind. More often, it is our mind (& our eyes!) that tells us when & how much we should eat, rather than listening to what the body has to say. Taking it a step further, we can also become attuned to what we’re actually hungry for. Our sugar craving may be due to insufficient protein, or to insufficient sweetness in our lives. Our ‘out of control’ carb cravings may be due to stress, or to a yearning for more comfort in our lives. Learning to observe ourselves & our behaviour with honesty & clarity is fundamental in developing our intuitive abilities, and it can start with these simple (but not so easy) skills.
We can also get more tuned into when we need rest, exercise, time in nature, or when we need to remove unnecessary distractions. Our body tells us when we need these things, but we have gotten used to ignoring the signals. We decide that the brain ‘knows best’ about what the body ‘should’ do. Often the body needs to send very loud & clear signals - in the form of pain, anxiety, or illness - before we are able to listen. Intuition gives us the capacity to see the best paths to take in our lives before having to figure it out the hard way. If we’re ignoring the signals our body is already giving us on a day-to-day basis, it’s much less likely that the wise guide within will be open to higher decision-making. Feeling into when a boundary has been violated, when we need to spend more time in solutide, or when we have been pushing ourselves too hard & need to reconstruct our definition of success - these are all things that our intuition can reveal to us, but we need to start simple before these more complex & nuanced issues can be considered.
Step 2: Recognize when forces other than intuition are at play.
Instinct is an intelligence that also lives within the body. The difference is that instinct is focused on survival - or staying safe, while intuition is focused on thriving - or moving forward. Attacking, denying, fleeing, hoarding, & sticking with our own tribe are all examples of instinctive behaviour that we can automatically fall into before our intuition even has a chance to awaken. Fear is a major instinct often disguising itself as intuition. We may have been taught to view life as more threatening or competitive than it really is, so our body keeps giving us the signals that we need to protect or compare ourselves to others more than is really appropriate. When this happens, we can miss new & exciting opportunities that are right in front of us. Fear can cause us to move with excessive caution instead of allowing ourselves to open to the mystery of the unknown, where intuition likes to dwell. On the other hand, fear can also cause us to linger in the limbo of indecision, rather than trusting in what the body already knows to be true. Fear is tricky…
Equally tricky is discerning between the voice of our inner wise one and the voices of the biases that we have inherited from our culture & history. We may get a ‘gut feeling’ when it comes to making decisions about what career path to take, which people we are attracted to, and even about what we value, yet it might not be based on what truly & deeply feels right for us. Our environment teaches us a lot about what we ‘should’ like & dislike. We may have been taught to look more favourably on people with more advanced education, and less favourably on people with less, which may lead us to choose a partner with good credentials, but who is not concerned at all about our emotional well-being. We may be attracted to someone whose abusive behaviour mimics that which we saw or received as a child. This family & cultural conditioning goes beyond the rational mind and sinks deep into our cellular story - but it is not our intuition talking as we make these kinds of choices. It’s impossible to eliminate all of these biases, but we can become more aware of them, and be on the lookout as to how they influence our decision-making on an unconscious level.
Step 3: Radical honesty & trust
With all of these possible forces disguising themselves as intuition, how can we trust the signals that we are getting from the body? By creating a body & mind that are trustworthy.
By following the intuitive eating that I suggested in Step 1 & sticking with it, our body & mind learn to trust each other. The body says "I’m full”, we hear it, and we stop eating. The body says “I’m tired”, we hear it, and we rest. When we repeatedly respect what the body is telling us, when we listen, the body will become even more communicative.
Our intuition also deepens as we are more honest with ourselves and as we express that truth outward. When we say ‘yes’ to someone, but inside we feel a ‘no’, we are ignoring our inner wisdom. When we do something that might make us look good, but doesn’t feel right inside, we are betraying ourselves. On the other hand, when we tell the truth, with kindness & respect, to ourselves & others, we become more trustworthy, allowing our intuition to feel more free to express itself. This is not always easy work, but if intuition is worth having, it’s worth this effort.
In keeping with being honest with ourselves, we stop with negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is lying. Period. Telling ourselves that we are not loveable or capable, that we are not enough or too much, that we are too old or too young - none of this is true or wise. None of it helps us hear what is really right for us.
We also stop putting too much weight on false positivity or ‘magical thinking’ - believing that just because we want something to happen, that it will happen. Intuition is about clear-seeing. Being stuck in delusion - either positive or negative - is neither skillful nor helpful . We need to learn to respect, appreciate, & work with our whole selves: the parts of ourselves that we like & the parts that we don’t like (aka our shadow) because in order to access the full power of our intuition, we need 100% of ourselves to be present.
This is especially important for those times when our intuition may be telling us to go in the opposite direction that we have been going, or to go in the opposite direction of everyone else. Our intuition can call us to make big decisions, but if we have developed a strong trust within ourselves, these big decisions don’t have to be scary. Instead, they can be invigorating & enlightening. I remember the very calm, profound sense of knowing that I had about moving from the safety of Canada to the mysterious unknown of Buenos Aires. It did not come out of the blue, but rather it emerged after years of practice: listening within, staying true to myself, & respecting my inner world. Only then was I able to make the leap with a huge sigh of trust in myself.
Step 4: Become Intuition-Prone
When we’re stressed, it’s much more likely that the signals we receive from the body & mind are survival-based. In order to access our intuition clearly, it’s helpful to reduce whatever unnecessary tension in our lives that we can. While removing outer stresses can be tough, we can work on becoming more calm & centered within. Meditation is an extremely helpful practice in this regard. If you do not already have a regular practice, you might find this guided meditation centered around deepening connection to the body, & to our wise inner guide to be of benefit. Spending time in nature is also helpful, as is getting enough rest, exercise, & quality time with dear ones. All of this helps calm our nervous system down, so that instead of looking out for threats, we are able to notice the signs within & around us.
I also recommend keeping a notebook & pen handy. Quite brilliant flashes of insight often come to us at the most unexpected of times, such as when we are relaxing, daydreaming, or mind wandering. As I mentioned earlier, intuition is not about effortful thinking, but rather about opening up & allowing wisdom to arise. By writing down these flashes of insight, we give them validity & confirm their significance, making it increasingly likely that more of the same will come.
It’s important to remember that intuition does not get into the ‘how’. Instead, it simply points us in the direction that we need to set our sails. If we have truly developed trust in our inner guide, the clarity that we receive can fuel us enough to be able to work through the sometimes challenging details of the ‘how’.
Finally, it’s important to remember that we are never ‘off the path’. If listening to the inner wise one is new for you, know that your body has always been giving you guidance, and it will continue to do so. View it all as a process of refining, of polishing the mirror & tuning the instrument, so that we can see & hear ever more clearly.
If you are interested in more tools to cultivate connection to self, click here to receive the 5 Day Introduction to Fully Embodied Living. Each day includes guided stretching, breath practice, meditation, & support for intuitive eating & personal development.
Tracy Renee Stafford, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tracy Renee Stafford is a coach in Fully Embodied Fitness — a weave of yoga, pilates, dance, & functional exercise - and in Fully Embodied Living based on 4 Pillars of Well-Being: Connection to Body, Nourishment, Presence & Growth. Her mission is to help people discover how they can make self-care a celebration, rather than an obligation, & enjoy the body for how it feels, rather than just for how it performs or looks. She ran her own studio in the Canadian Prairies heartland for 20 very rewarding years - where she taught various forms of fitness, with a specific interest in injury prevention & rehabilitation and empowering students with information on HOW the body works best. She is a Mindful Movement, Holistic Living & Nutrition Coach, weaving together all of her expertise into her Fully Embodied Living Programs. She currently lives in Buenos Aires and keeps her passion for dance alive by studying Argentine Tango.
